I know that like my punctuation and stuff like that isn't right exactly so ummm please ignore that and let me know what you think...(and yes unfortunately this did happen to me,but i'm stronger than ever because it did.)
My Review
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Well writen, it sucks to have your father walk out on you, it a hurt that can never go away, i have a some of the samething happen, but i wish when he walked away he stayed away, i rather have not known him, them watch him hurt me over and over and over again...... but never find that him walking out on you is your fault, he know what he was doing when he walk away, he got chicken and couldnt handle the responsible of having a daughter to care for, i look that it as his loss, you never was ask to be brought into this world. sorry for going on and on, but this topic hits home in so many levels
I'll ignore the blaring "i" that isn't capitalized and focus on the brilliance of the last line. It could have read "Why should I forgive my dad?" But the daddy touch really is horrible, creepy, and terrific all at once. THis line: "I used to wish you were here,
But I don't know why." is sorta stunning. This inadequacy is phenomenal:I'm sorry...
For not being enough." It's "faze" btw. I think you mean the verb, to cause to be disturbed/to daunt? Maybe phased, but it doesn't translate. You really catch my breath with this. Thanks for posting!
Very emotional, fathers sometimes walk out, some for better and some for worse. Learn from his mistakes and become a better person for it. nice write :)
Very emotional piece. I only go by content and this gripped me from the start. The form worked well too..wish the content was happier and held no pain but somewhere out there someone is crying for the Daddy that was never there.
Hi! Im Marissa I like writing poems and im not very good but it's how I get my feelings out. I'm a sophomore. Nothing better than friends and family. (but to me family isn't always blood) and well I l.. more..