No Difference

I got a lot on my mind

but you seem to think im fine

I lied when you asked why

because I didn't want to make you cry

 

Sometimes it's hard to

explain to you how

especially when now

is never the right time

 

You don't see my point

so why do I even try

I would rather cry

than waste my time lying

 

You make life difficult

but only because you're

jealous; jealous of what

I found with someone other

 

I'm sorry that it hurts you

but I really had to do

what felt best to me

and that is it

 

I do love you

I don't hate

but no matter what I say

it probably won't make a difference

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Author's Note

let me know what you think...if you don't mind (:

Reviews

[Southern Cross]

Just writing to release thoughts can be a welcome act unto itself...No one is perfect, nor is every written word..If this writing helped you to release pain then it has achieved it's purpose..I think the other critic misses that in her critique..a bit harsh ..so listen and learn and just keep being true to your own voice..practice will help you with form as you grow in your skills

[Lindsay T]

This is a good poem, but I think it could be even better if you used some metaphors or similes. I find that in romantic poems like this, having metaphors and similes really spice it up and make it a bit more interesting to read. Nice job though.

[nevermindfan1991]

I got a lot on my mind
but you seem to think I’m fine
I lied when you asked why
because I didn't want to make you cry

I have read too many poems like. A love poem that is too direct, tells too much, and relies on tired cliches. Your poem is not any different. The poem does not have a rhythm, language is too plain, and the subject matter is too simple to rely on plain language. This has yet to grab me.
 
Sometimes it's hard to
explain to you how
especially when now
is never the right time

This stanza does not make. There are problems with syntax. I underlined the line that was strange.

 
You don't see my point
so why do I even try
I would rather cry
than waste my time lying

This could simply be a prose. It is not really a poem. It is only a poem in that fact that is made up of stanza.
 
You make life difficult
but only because your
jealous; jealous of what
I found with someone other


 
Im sorry that it hurts you
but I really had to do
what felt best to me
and that is it
 
I do love you
I don't hate
but no matter what I say
it probably won't make a difference

If this is an idea you want express good! I like it is very complex and relatable too many people have dealt with complications that arise from breakups and/or heart break. But, you expressed to simply. You stated it and anyone could have done that. It is not unique and the worst part it does not tell me anything about you as a poet. Read other poems by poets of the past and present. Discover new words, metaphors, and the like. Write, write, and re-write. I’m a novice poet and my poems far from even decent. I still need to practice. I’m not satisfied with my work. I’m no expert but I know when their is still a lot that needs to be done in a poem.

I just realized I've read this poem before and reviewed it. I did not notice until I saw my last comment. See, this poem wasn't memorable. This needs work!

[Btwixer]

very go get em piece, i love it.

[EMMIE]

Very honest and personal with your thoughts here. Great work!

[Dayran]

Saying it for what it is by one person in the relationship may well refer to a breakdown in communication between the two. At such a point one finds quite consistently that it is the female who delves into her nature of determination and states her position clearly.

But where the nature of the man finds acceptance of her position and the stability it provides to their relationship, he creates an acquiescence. The point is not that the man gave in to the woman, but that one person creating a lead regarding life issues is what makes it work in a relationship.

[Nautili]

Nice piece but one small mistake- "you're jealous". I remember my mother always pointing out that same mistake when I was younger and writing papers in English Class....Does that mean we do eventually become just like our mothers? lol.

[Katie Flores]

i liked it because of the style. you didn't follow the same ole rhyme and reason and i applaud you for that :)

[Thomas Fitzgerald]

Clarity is reached here, well done, good read.