Keep On Believin

This poem is about not only my struggles in life, but also the lessons learned from those struggles. Always remember your better than giving up. Your worth more than words would ever be able to prove.

I had lost hope,

I just gave up on it.

I had quit dreaming,

All my dreams kept getting broken.

I've quit trying to please the unpleasable,

It just wasn't working.

I've gave up on myself and others,

It didn't seem worth it.

I've gained more Faith,

by learning new things everyday.

I've learned I am good enough,

So, good God sent his only son to die for me.

I've realized unconditional love is what's missing,

But, trust me I know that I am loved.

I've grew on many people,

That's how I gained extra love.

I've seen things happen,

That made me a brighter person.

I've changed into a better person,

By the good and bad things in life.

I've learned we all take things for granted,

So, I'm working on that.

I've recognized that I should be thankful,

Which now I am more than ever.

All because I believed,

This all has happened to me.

 

Author's Note

This poem is for all those people who want to give up. For those whom have lost all their hope. For those who have quit dreaming. -More Info. up top in description.

Reviews

[Mark]

Faith is so intrinsic to being human, a pity so few of us really understand that we all have faith, some of us just don't pay attention to where we are putting it.

A suggestion... I think your poem would be more powerful if you used the past tense in the first 4 stanzas... it seems to me your 'giving up' is in the past yet you use the present tense for it.

[Marissa]

I'm sorry I don't understand what you mean...can you provide an example for my stanzas if I change the top line in my stanzas it's not going to make since with the bottom line...

[Mark]

'I had lost hope, I just gave up on it."
"I had quit dreaming, all my dreams kept getting broken'

The way you wrote it is in present tense, as if it was happening right now, but I think what you mean is these things were in the past based on what you say in the second part of the poem.. "I've gained more faith.... I've learned I'm good enough" These things happened after the things in presented first as they couldn't possibly happen at the same time. Hope that clarifies... let me know if not.

[Marissa]

it does thank you so much!

[C.]

I'm not a godly person, but I really liked the overall theme of this story. It was a good write (:

[Marissa]

Thank you so very much! :D

[Coyote Poetry]

A beautiful story in the poem. Old wise saying. "All men find God in the foxhole." When we reach our end. All we have is faith and hope. Thank you for sharing the excellent poem.
Coyote

[Marissa]

Thank you! And that's a good saying I've never heard it, but it sure is true...Thank you again!

[khalid]

very motivating and nicely penned, i love the message in it...we should never quit since we can breathe..

[Marissa]

Glad you like it and it's message (:

[Blue Ivory]

Yeah that moment when you realize all of this, and it's like your mind is calculating everything before your eyes...I know that feeling all too well! This is a comforting and inspirational poem, and by sharing it, hopefully you will help many :)

[Marissa]

Thank you! And yes I hope to help many by letting others know that their are other people in the world that have the same thing going on as them. I know for me I like to think no one understands what I'm going through so I keep my faith and keep pushing through, but then you have those moments when you feel as if you on't even have that and that hurts. I've realized through the past few months as things have happened in my life that what hurts the most is when it stops hurting. But, I am very glad you liked this and that it's relateable in a way that makes me happy, but in another way I wanna say sorry you have those feelings to.But thank you for your review and I'd love to hear what you think on some other work of mine. (:

[Blue Ivory]

Believe it or not, but I went through all of this while listening to Titanium by David Guetta Ft. Sia. Have you heard it? I don't know, maybe the fact that it was 2am and everybody else was asleep, and it's the best time for me to think. Plus I was vulnerable. But that's why this song means so much to me :P I would love to read some of your other work, if I can manage the time. You seem like someone who's going through the same thing I've been/am going through. And at the moment I'm talking to lots of other people who are, so it'd be nice to add another person to that! ^_^

[Marissa]

Never heard it, but imma listen to it...Not sure what your going through, but you should message me and we can talk and see if it's the same thing and even if it's not we maybe we could help each other out still...And when you find the time I'd love that you'd review more stuff...and it'd be nice to speak to you too. :)

[Sleepless]

i like it it is very inspiring :)

[Marissa]

Thank You!

[Sleepless]

you are welcome :)

[MOON]

Thought provoking true, lovely write.

[Marissa]

thank you so much!

[Leslie Philibert]

First of all, I not only like the poem, but I really like the couplet structure, so for me a winner right away - and the style is fine, clear and strong. Very good.

[Marissa]

Thank You!! That means a lot that you like it and it structure and style....YAY!!! haha

[Dayran]

It's quite a learning curve. St. Theresa once said ( Paraphrased ) it may be just as important to stay at home as it in the board room os the world. The difference is the passion that comes into contact with the satisfaction. Breasts comes in pairs.

[Marissa]

Yes, it is a learning curve....I'm not sure what you mean by the second part though.

[Dayran]

The output from the mind is shared by the body. An indifference between mind and body makes all dreams fall and die. The way the mind relates to the body design makes the experience of the mind real. You need to catch up on your reading.

[Marissa]

I'm only in 10th grade therefore I'm sorry I don't understand your quote and the meaning of it....but that gives you no right to tell me what I need to do unless it's talking about my poetry because that's what I'm on here for not to get advice on how I need to catch up on reading. And besides what does any of that have to do with my poem?

[Dayran]

' so I love the advice and I know sometime the truth hurts so I can take it '

That's a quote from your website. You need to make your mind about what you want. Stay with the kids Marissa. On occasion this website needs to differentiate the kids from the grown-ups. As adukts we need to grow as well!!!

[Marissa]

I can handle the truth, but since when is the website on advice for my personal life? Last I checked I was on here to get advice on my writing not what I should do in my life. And okay I'll stay with the kids at least they understand the concept that I want your opinions on my writing not my life style nor the way I do things. And the differentiate with us unfriend the kids that your friends with if that's how you feel. I don't want to cause problems, but your criticizing me as a person not my writing and that bugs me.

[Dayran]

How does my original review criticize you as a person?

[Marissa]

It didn't, but as I asked what it meant you criticized me as a person.

[Dayran]

You're nuts!

[Marissa]

How am I nuts when you're the one that is criticizing me?

[Dayran]

Santa Maria! Save us from your excesses!

[Marissa]

Why don't you just get of my poem....your pointless

[Dayran]

I don't want your poem. Why don't you eat dirt and die.

[Marissa]

Then just quit commenting on my stuff and get over it okay....and eating dirt won't kill me and I guess I won't die since God just doesn't seem ready for me yet....oh well sucks for you.

[Dayran]

That suits me just fine!

[Marissa]

Okay, bye!

[Dr. Wood ?]

I admire you for your faith...I have none of that kind for I am a Humanist....Please keep believing..your words were quite wonderful

[Marissa]

Thank You! And sometimes when I'm down it seems Faith is all I have so it's my shield....and I definitely will keep believing....Thanks again!!