Lost Words

This poem is no love poem, it does seem to be that. I apologize for that. This poem is about how I have a wonderful person who is like a mom to me and how I can't explain to her how I feel with words.

I can't find the right words,

No matter how hard I try.

 

I know I never wanna lose you,

That thought makes me wanna cry.

 

Everyone keeps telling me to tell you how I feel,

But I still don't truly understand why?

 

If there is only one thing I'm sure of

That thing is that I never want to say Good-Bye.

 

There is also no way,

That without you I could ever get by.

 

You've taught me so much about life

In such little time.

 

I've learned that for anyone not to have someone like you-

In their life it should be a crime.

 

It's funny how the words,

Their definitely there.

 

But when I attempt talking to you,

There's a huge loss of words.

 

I know they're true,

So, I think maybe my fear gets the best of me.

 

If only I could tell you

How much you really mean to me.

Author's Note

Please excuse my rhyme scheme I purposely made it that way....knowing it would seem jacked up.And also, sorry for any confusion of this being a love poem to some guy I guess theoretically (not sure how to spell that) it could be but I didn't make it that way. Let me know what you think please and thank you!

Reviews

[Barbara Walker]

Your words get your point across. Did you feel you had to have some rhymes in this piece? Poems don't have to rhyme. Some of these rhymes feel a bit forced. The rhythm and flow are more important to a poem than rhymes. Imagery is good to let your reader see your thoughts in images. It feels like you have so many feelings and thoughts you are struggling to convey. Just try to quiet your mind and let words flow and see what you end up with on the page.

[Marissa]

Yes, I do agree. Thanks for the asvice and here lately that's been what I've been trying to do. For example in my poem that I wrote "sisters (I'll be)" if you'd like to read that one to see if that's better. And I love your thoughts would love to have more reviews on my other work from you.

[Barbara Walker]

I'll check it out!

[melissa]

wow this is wonderful i loved it!

[Marissa]

Thank you so much (: would love to hear reviews on more of my work please?

[Emrick]

Beautiful poem.
(There is nobody like a mother.They are the most amazing beings in this world.

[Marissa]

thank you

[Leslie Philibert]

Good write, that looks at the problem that emotions can often not be packed easily into words, the endless battle of the poet

[Marissa]

yeah, and thanks!

[Laura Maidah]

last line ruins the mood. everything else is beautiful

[Marissa]

thanks you! How does the last line ruin the mood....like what do you suggest I put there?

[C.]

I think every person in the world could relate to this. There's always that one person in everyone's life who has changed their life. Whether it be a husband, boyfriend, family member, friend, God, or even just a random stranger that you may have met on the street or in a store. And, this poem really expressed that well. Good job (:

[Marissa]

Thank you! And I do agree (:

[That_Girl]

I can really relate to this... there's an older woman that lives next door to me that I love like a mother and I don't think she truly understands... so for that, I really enjoyed it. The flow was messy, yes, but that's how you intended it to be and it's how it should be. It's yours. Nice!

[Marissa]

Aw I'm glad you have someone in your life like that I know I wouldn't be half the person if she wasn't here for me. And yes I'm glad you see that that's exactly what I wanted (the messiness) and your right it is me! lol thank you (:

[That_Girl]

Same here! She's the most amazing woman I've ever met. You're very welcome... it's poetry- it doesn't need to be picture perfect. :)

[Marissa]

(: it's cool having someone that relates so many people are just like this doesn't make since and if you got a person that's there for you like that (like another mom) it makes perfect since. And I agree that's how I also feel.

[Jordan A. Wilson]

i'm not a fan of the flow, but i won't say it should be different because as the author you wrote it how you felt it should be and feeling is what it's all about anyway. nice work.

[Marissa]

thanks....and yeah I know the flow is pretty wack but I also know it's not a better peice of mine lol

[Jordan A. Wilson]

it's all gravy lol

[Marissa]

lol

[Ama May Cooper]

Its flow is a little broken. But its meaning is clear and consise. A somewhat sweet and innocent tail of the nervous thoughts that surround a crush. Beautifully articulated

[Marissa]

Yeah....and thank you!

[Sleeping Maiden]

Awww, i really like this... =D Beautiful. It's definately relatable and fantastic! =D
Great work!

[Marissa]

thank you! glad you like it (:

[Sleeping Maiden]

No problem! keep on writing! ^^