That Moment:

I think it's pretty explanitory, but if there is any confusion at all message me or comment and I will explain to help.

I'm scared of being happy,

Of what will happen after the moment passes by.

 

The feeling I get in my stomach as I smile.

The thoughts that surround my head as I laugh.

 

It's that thought that I can't get rid of,

The one how I feel like you don't want me happy.

 

I know I'm crazy for thinking that way,

But it's unfortunately how I feel.

 

You see me smiling and laughing with others,

And you try to ruin what happiness I have left.

 

Who cares if they are blood?

To me they will always be my family too.

 

They aren't taking your place,

But your not taking you're place either.

 

I love the moments I have with them,

They care and make me feel like I am something.

 

The moments here with you,

Make me feel like I'm nothing.

 

The only thing now is,

To pray that the moments of happiness...don't pass by.

Author's Note

Let me know what you think....and please excuse any grammar and punctuation.

Reviews

[Leslie Philibert]

Good too, I like the couplet form, it`s one of my favourite styles.

[Marissa]

thanks and it's one of mine too.

[Laura Maidah]

So relatable it's unreal. ONe of your better pieces.

[Marissa]

I'm glad you like it :D

[C.]

I liked this (: I liked the emotions that were portrayed in this. And I think a lot of people have probably been through this or something similar to this. I know I have at least. Anyways, keep writing (: I enjoy your work

[Marissa]

Thank you! And I will...I'm glad you like my work :D

[Harley (arbiter)]

Strong, emotional, awesome poem

[Marissa]

thank you!

[Legolas]

Great job. i am sorry if you do indeed feel this way. Unfortunately, happiness never lasts.

[Marissa]

thank you!

[Falling Leaf.]

Nicely done. Only one spelling hiccup that I found: the first your in the seventh stanza should be you're. Other than that, well done. The last line perfectly summed up your message of the entire poem. Well penned.

The best of luck,
Savannah

[Marissa]

Thank You! And thanks for the help of my grammar.

[Falling Leaf.]

No trouble at all

[Marissa]

Are you sure though?

[Falling Leaf.]

But of course. I'm delighted to review work. The only things I won't touch are erotica and fan fictions. Poems I fancy the most, I'm fond of short stories, books can get a bit tiresome, unless they're extremely good.

[Marissa]

Well, thanks. I actually meant are you sure that your in the seventh stanza needs to be you're I didn't think so as I've read over it again....but I'm not positive.

[Falling Leaf.]

"But you're not taking your place either."--But you are not taking your place either.

[Marissa]

i gotcha now but you said that the first your in 7th paragraph and that wouldn't have been right but anyways thanks

[Falling Leaf.]

Read it to yourself. What sounds right?

"But you are not taking your place either."
read moreRead it to yourself. What sounds right?

"But you are not taking your place either."
"But your not taking you are place either."

[Marissa]

your right....I was saying that you said the first your in 7th stanza which would have been the your in the first line of the 7th stanza so you're needed to be the second your on the 7th stanza which is on the second line of the 7th stanza.

[Falling Leaf.]

Oh, my apologies!

[Marissa]

It's cool no big deal I just got confused.

[Thomas Fitzgerald]

The concluding thought leads one from one feeling to the next in a swift slice of irony, well done, good read.

[Marissa]

thank you (:

[Coyote Poetry]

I understand this poem. Happiness leave the door open for sadness. Can't enjoy the dance unless you join the activities. I like your thoughts and the prayer at the end. Thank you for the outstanding poem.
Coyote

[Marissa]

Glad you underand it...and thank you I thought put a last little touch of who I am in it....(: thank you!

[Akhand Pratap Singh]

Its amazing how you wrote it and how you compared love with blood relation and taking their place its nice piece!!

[Marissa]

Thank You! So glad you like it (:

[darkness*star1985]

This is amazing, Its amazing because we either haven't yet or have already have had this feeling, that moment. you nailed with the words dead on. Good work.

[Marissa]

thank you! I'm glad you liked it.