My Promise

My Promise

I’ve been down, it hurts passed pain. Every memory like a knife, killing me that much more. I look down, see who I am, Then break down and cry. Every Black moment stained on my face�"unconsealable. Every tear, like acid to my face-f**k it. Who the f**k can take this much? How can any person lift this much weight--immense. I grip this world, I don’t want to let it go. Through every painful moment… I never gave up- I won’t start now. I don’t give a damn, I’ll take all of its weight. I’m a soldier of life, charging every battle to destroy it as it does the same to me. My battle scars more deeper and more apparent than any physical inflicted scar. I cry, I bite down�"only to watch my tears go unseen. I drop my head, loose my strength and fall. As life rips my body apart, I reach out�"No help. I’m a solider�"I fight. Eyes closed I Cry…My anger rises�"how can I give up now? Through it all�"I’ve been strong, Knuckles still white. So I open my eyes, see my world spin as I fall to cragged ground. My knuckles crack and bleed, my tears turn to goals�"and I stop. Ground at my feet, life at my soles. How can I give up?, I’m stronger than this, I always have been. Why must it take anger and self inflicted depression to find it? F**k that, every moment I stop to look�"it hurts. So I step forward…I push on, when it hurts�"I dig deep�"I grip this pain and rip it out. This poison�"this acid�"this hatred�"this depression�"F**k it. I hate it�"so why do I keep letting it hurt me? I made a choice�"I’m coughing blood�"and as I gasp for air and choke on my pride…I spit blood.

                Im making a choice�"standing in this blood�"searing pain coursing through my veins. My Promise.

                From moments on I’m in control, My choice is done because I chose to do it�"not for you�"not for them. Who I am-- is who I am. I don’t care what you think. So stand in my way�"break my legs, you can’t stop me. I’m stronger�"I’m faster�"I’m in control. So step up, look me right in the eye�"Ill drop you�"look down on me�"ill look down on you. I’m colossal, ten stories high. Your nothing but ants that scurry about my feet…your nothing. I fear no pain�"I fear no man. You don’t like me? Then don’t look. I do it for me, I look up�"for me�"I keep going�"for me. You do nothing, you say nothing…I hear nothing. So stop talking�"I’ll keep pushing. My promise is one not easily forgotten. You don’t like me�"I don’t see you. The chin that has touched my chest is lifted, the pain once held by my vessel is pooled around my feet. You want? Then F****n take it.  This is me�"This is my flesh�"this is my blood. I make this choice because I want more�"because things in this life should be happy and joyous. So spit on me�"I don’t flinch, Push me�"I don’t fall, kick me�"your pain, I cannot feel. I’m strength, power and serenity. I’m a soldier.   

 

-Mac