empty hands

this is.
collateral pause,
the sound of a thousand
monotonous bells
tolling at days end for
thoughts to erroneously
magnanimously
rebound
dispel

into something more dark
less sordid
than i 
(thought.) 

i need this
hate it
want it


suspension


the rush of dominoes to fall
and topple
card towers
cloud castles
and anything un-firmed.

into 
-blank-
quiet.

Reviews

[.shalynn.009.]

The style of this, with the interruptions, parentheses, and structure, reminded me of ee cummings a bit. Meaning derived from the ambiguous words (like the "thought" in parentheses), the placement reflecting meaning (like with "suspension"), and with the use of punctuation (the first line). Because you refrained from using a lot of punctuation, the ones you did have stood out all the more, and their placement created new insight. This also added to the sensation of quiet and suspension, with few beginnings or ends and a lot of middle.

I also like that you didn't capitalize beginnings, making them seem like a continuation of the middle, and that you left "i" lower case, so that special emphasis was not placed on the being of the speaker, but rather on the words (the moment of silence) surrounding the "i" (the speaker).

For some reason, with the placement of "suspension" and the way words are placed on their own lines, the look of the poem made me think of the words and phrases falling. Which, I suppose, fit in with the last two stanzas, as noise and bustle dies away to quiet and blankness.

Empty hands, nothing to do or get done, yet full thoughts, which become more real in the silence, more able to focus one's mind and become the most important thing. I too love and hate that silence, and that's usually the case when one needs something. Thanks for the write. I really like the style of it, as well as the content, and I don't say that to many people.

[Nimbus Thread]

You've captured a moment at the end of the day when thoughts reach to solidify into silence--if possible--sanity. I understand the design choice for spacing out the stanzas, but its too obvious, and separates or divides the strength of the write. (It's okay to disagree.)

In the first stanza "magnanimous", seems erroneous to me. Keep the brevity let the reader experience the intended meaning. I do like the confession in the third stanza--works on many levels. : )

There is a longing to escape with "Empty Hands,"as in surrendering into the, "blank." A thoroughly enjoyable piece of poetry.

Thank you for sharing this.