BLUE JAYS

I try to hear you in the blue jay's that fly around my house.
I see how much peace it gives my mother when she hears them chirping,
almost as though they're singing your name.
my mother has created a shelf dedicated to you,
a picture of you,
a small little urn with little blue jays on it
as well as a blue jay figure beside your picture.
the thought of you somehow singing to her
through such a small but loud creature is comfort to her
I'm glad she has that comfort

I hope you can see how much you are missed

people tell me that you're still out there looking out for me,
all of us
and that they're able to feel your energy

what I would give to feel that

I feel as though grief is such a selfish feeling
the feeling of wanting to do everything I can to hug you again,
to hear your voice,
to get your final word of advice,
all selfish things that would make me feel better if you were still here

To say you were a good person is the largest understatement in the world
kindness came so gently to you,
as well as forgiveness.

you helped people without a second thought
you helped me without a second thought
the day you left, I selfishly lost the only person I knew understood me

alas I'll continue to try to hear you in the blue jay's that fly around my house
I don't hear them singing your name

but they sure are nice to watch.

Reviews

[emmajoygreen]

A sad and lost feeling to your lovely words, althought the jays' songs surely offer a partial remedy. Perhaps you need listen harder to and for them. Their sounds are such a beautiful memory, hovering in corners of your home, waiting to comfort you and do their best to heal. Am so sorry your feel so wretchedly sad. But be sure, those blue jays are there for a reason, to comfort you and also, to remind you of smiling times together. Do you think?

[lost and alone]

thank you so much!