The Death of Spring

The tragic story of a dreamer in a dystopian world.

I closed the door behind me and ripped of my gasmask. “I’m home!” I yelled as I took off my shoes and jacket. I walked into the living room where my sister was looking though some boxes. “Look April! I found all this stuff from when our great, great grandma was little! Doesn’t it look amazing?” she said excitedly. There were three pretty small boxes sitting next to June. She handed me a small book that looked like it once had a lock on it. “It’s her diary” she smiled. The covers were worn and the pages had turned a little yellow. Her handwriting was neat and not too difficult to understand. There were a few pictures inside as well. As June had returned to her boxes, I slowly walked towards my room while looking though some of the pages.
 
I sat on my bed, completely enchanted by the simple, yet magical everyday life of my great, great family member. She told stories about her normal, boring life, but I could not fathom the wonderful feeling it would give me to witness the snow melting and green leaves spring from the trees. I really started realizing the true beauty of my name. My great, great grandma Rose told stories of gorgeous, bright wildflowers and the fresh smell of spring in the air. Every page was filled with sweet memories that she and her friends shared. I could feel my insides turn green of envy. Oh, the things I would do to experience a spring without fumes in the air and mists steaming from my mask. Everything is so cold nowadays; we could hardly get through the winter.
 
The light from my window woke me up and the first thing in my sight was the diary. I turned around to have a look at the time. It was 10.46 and I had agreed to meet my friends at the 11 o’clock train. Needless to say, I rushed out of my bed to get dressed and have a slice of bread. As I put on my jacket and shoes I yelled “June, I’m going out!” I didn’t hear her answer because of the gas mask I was stressfully putting on. I ran out and quickly closed the door behind me. We lived in the bad part of town, so the first thing that met me was a railway platform. Just as I ran up on the platform, the train rushed in at high speed, causing my ash blonde hair to cover my vision. The train stopped and I got on, I turned my head to our usual seats where my friend Vicky sat. “Hey sweety!” she said as I sat down right across from her. “I saw you running up. Did something keep you up late, or what?” she asked. “Oh, just this… book I’ve been reading” I answered. For some reason I felt like the diary was my secret to keep. “It must have been a pretty good one too!” “Yeah, it’s wonderful”.
 
Within the time span of 10 minutes the train had stopped at five other stations and picked up two of our friends. We were now on our way to the last stop before the longer ride across the wastelands and into the big city. The space between the outskirts and the big city was filled with small bushes and grass. It seemed like the kind of place Rose and her friends would go and surround themselves with beautiful flowers this time a year. Fredrick, who sat next to me, must have noticed my absence of mind and asked me if I hadn’t gotten enough sleep last night. As soon as I realized he was talking to me, I snapped out of my daydreaming of mile long fields of colours. Before I could even open my mouth, Vicky had answered for me. “She spent the whole night reading a book. She had to run to catch the train”. Lilith, sitting next to Fredrick, answered basically the same as Vicky did earlier.
 
“Hey guys!” Marcus said, ripping off his gas mask as soon as the train closed its doors. I could sense the concern radiating from everyone in the cart. He sat down next to Vicky. It is supposed to be safe to take the mask off on the train, but no one was really willing to take the risk on this kind of train. Marcus was a dare devil, and he did not fear death; Not even after his brother died from the toxic air only 4 years ago. “What’s with the faces?” he laughed. He joked about it every time. “Except from you; did you stop caring if I die or not, April?” he continued. I looked over at him. Of course I cared, but I could not stop thinking about what it would be like to take it off and breathe fresh air.
 
We were at the end station and Vicky led the way out of the train. Marcus strapped on his mask just before the doors opened. There was a ridiculous amount of people getting off the train, but that’s just a normal Saturday. The rest of the week, people would be busy working their asses off to get some income, and if there were any money to spend at the end of the week, some would travel into the city to shop. It had seemed like everyone in Rose’s generation had well-paid jobs and a fair amount of time to spend after a long day at the office. Of course this was before the environmental crisis where children started dropping dead unexpectedly because of the toxic air they inhaled. That was when everything started falling apart. People continuously died from the fumes as scientist where trying to figure out why. Businesses went bankrupt, work was underpaid, money lost value, stuff became expensive and the flowers went extinct. All this started happening about 50 years ago; it took them 5 years to figure out that the air was toxic, and another 8 to get that we needed gas masks, make them and give them to the people. Those who already had been breathing the fumes for a while would still be affected; get illnesses and die early. My parents died 7 years ago.
 
My friends and I had finally gotten out of the train station. We were walking down a crowded street; headed towards our special place. There was a building further down the street that was completely empty. Most of those buildings were filled with druggies, homeless people and likely murderers, but not our building. Amazingly enough the elevator still worked, but we all believed it would fall down with us inside it someday. The ride was long, silent and full of excitement because we all knew what waited on the top floor. “We don’t do this often enough” Vicky laughed. Everyone giggled in agreement. The elevator stopped and opened to a dark room. We all went out and around a corner, up a few stairs. Marcus, who went first, opened the door at the top of the stairs and let out sounds of pleasure as he once again ripped his mask of. So did the rest of us. It was supposedly safe to breathe air 100 meters above the ground. It was probably the only place all of us would dare to take our masks of.
 
The air was filled with exhaust, smoke and deafening noise. Though freedom from the mask was not what brought us to the rooftop; it was the view. We could see the entire city from here, even a little bit of the bush area. The wind was cold and bitter, but it didn’t really matter. I went over to the railing and looked at the gloomy city. I tried to imagine what it all would feel like if I was great, great grandma Rose; warm gusts, pollen tickling my nose, the sun looking out from behind the clouds, a small bouquet of wildflowers to give to my mum. I started wondering about my mum; about my dad. “Where do the dead go?” the words just poured out of me. Fredrick who was once again next to me, looked terrified. It was not an uncommon thought in our society; a thought that often resulted in death. They had never heard me mention this topic since my parents died. No one said another word.
 
Even though we felt safe without the masks, the majority did not feel like pushing fate. Therefore we did not stay long. After the long ride to the ground Lilith asked “So what do we do next?” “Why don’t we go into the bush?” another set of words that simply poured out of me. “That’s a great idea!” Lilith said and jumped in excitement. “I know about a hole in the fence where we can get out”, she continued. No one were going to ask how she knew about this hole, we just followed her lead. For unknown reasons there was a really tall and solid barbed wire fence surrounding the entire city. Of course there had to be a hole in it somewhere.
 
We went through the small hole in the fence. I was the last one and managed to scrape my skin against the wire and started bleeding. I didn’t really care; my friends on the other hand surrounded me, asking stupid questions like “am I ok?” I brushed it off and told them to keep walking. So we did; we walked for half an hour. They were talking and having a good time. I was too busy imagining little bumblebees sitting on top of beautiful orange tulips, butterflies on sunflowers and worms crawling in the soil. I decided to sit down in the tall grass. I took of my shoes and unstrapped my mask. I took deep breaths, feeling the toxins filling my lungs, burning in my nostrils. I dozed off and fell to the ground. This is what spring feels like; freedom.