Chapter Two (Indie).

I am troubled. I can't think straight, i can't remember things, and sometimes (often times) i am not myself. I am a train wreck.

It started when i was thirteen, and not even the doctors can pinpoint why or what caused it. It was just something that happened. i began to see things differently, and this caused me to act differently. But unlike most people, this was not a controlled different. This was something beyond myself.

I would fall into what they called "fits". They were phases i would enter unknowingly and they almost always led to some sort of self destruction. Not completely though, because by the time enough time would have gone by for me to do something seriously regretful, i would snap out of whatever spell i was under.

I'm seveteen now, and the fits have mostly stopped- for what my parents know. At thirteen i was raging, and my body was changing. I would scream and run around and break things and cry, because that was what i knew to do. Because the monster swelling up inside of me needed to get out. Now, this monster was taken care of by myself, because i'm seventeen, and i don't need anyone. Atleast this is what i thought until i saw him.

I was at Allen's but the two girls i had gone with were drunk. i sat bored and alone in a booth, shooing off any guys who approached me. I liked to sit there and order root beer after root beer, watching the dynamics of the room around me. It was that night that a guy i had never noticed before caught my eye. He was drinking uncontrollably, chugging almost four beers in a matter of ten minutes. Something that i knew by the size of him would get him drunk, very drunk. He was tall, but not too tall, but much too thin. I wondered if he ate, even though i surely thought he did as it was not uncommon to see skinny boys who ate and ate and ate and never gained any weight. None the less, i watched him. He was trying to walk across the room, yelling something that i could not understand, and that was when he passed out. I had seen it before, as had almost everyone at Allen's, so he just laid there, helpless. I knew i had my chance.

I sat down next to him and put my hand on his. His eyes stayed shut. I just kept staring at his face, willing him awake. Half because i didn't want him to be dead, though i wasn't quite sure if you could actually die from alcohol consumption, and half because i was dying to see the color of his eyes- something silly to think about when he was lying on the ground drunk.

He opened his eyes lazily a moment or so later and started mumbling but i couldn't understand him. I grabbed his hand and led him outside under a street light where i proceeded to talk to him. I had handled drunks before, my two best friends Vera and Jade had taken it up as a habit once high school started and i often had to communicate to them in their jumbled mindsets. I tried to smile sweetly to let him know i cared, but he didn't seem to notice.

He fell asleep mid-sentence but after learning that his parents had not expected him home, i decided to take him back to my house. My parents were gone for the weekend at my cousins wedding- which they had been reluctant to invite me to; not that i even wanted to go.

I led him to the couch, which he laid down on with a moan, and then went back to my room where i laid awake for hours thinking about him. I wondered what his name was, and why i was so captivated by him. Afterall, he was drunk. i didn't know who he was or what he was like. I just knew what i felt, and that was the feeling of a very strong magnetic force pulling me towards him. I had never felt it quite like this before.

Eventually i fell asleep but woke up only two hours later to the sun streaming in. I always went to bed late and woke up early, a bad insomniatic habit i had adopted via the thirteen year old me.

I made what i always made for Vera and Jade when they were hungover, pancakes, and waited for him to get up. When i heard his voice i bit my lip nervously but put on my best smile (which by now i was good at faking) and walked into the room. He was beautiful. His hair was a dark brown crazy mess that i now got a better look at since it had been so dark last night. His eyes were blue with green speckles- like nothing i had ever seen before. As he sat up i couldn't help but wonder what it would feel like for him to hold me. When i looked over at him i was almost certain that he felt it to- by the way he was gaping. I wished that he would have held me. I wish that somehow he would see through the smile, see through the confident voice, and see through to the real me.

Instead, he left, but not before kindly telling me his name, Alden. Beautiful i thought. But he was an a*****e. He shouldn't have left.