Panic

Something in my brain is telling me that I am doing something wrong. I have this awful sinking feeling that something bad is going to happen 24/7. Panic constantly is raging within my chest stomping through the gardens you have planted there and leaving nothing but it's imprint in the dirt. I watch it destroy the happiness and beauty defenseless and totally unable to protect myself. I recoil out of fear.

Am I doing anything wrong? I feel so out of control. I feel desperate. I feel anxious. I need constant reassurance and at this point I feel so fragile that I'm afraid to be touched. I suppress and suppress and suppress and it is as if the dam I have built around my emotions is cracking, leaving me to deal with its massive leaks by myself. The dam is 1000 feet tall and I am 5'7 and oh my god how am I supposed to reach all of these cracks in time?