Fire

I'm having a bad day.

Today at work I thought of how fire is destructive and how it's ironic that the fire inside me has kept me from destroying myself. As I feel it fade my stomach turns. I think of all the ways I can wreak havoc on my own body and instead of focusing on the good in me, I focus on how all I can do is destroy. Fire is good, it keeps people warm and provides light, but somehow I have become embers, I am the wrong kind of heat. This heat that has enveloped me is white hot and it causes my body and sense of self to crumble into ash. 

I am being snuffed out by everything around me. I can feel myself gasping for air as I drown within my responsibilities. I cannot continue like this. College, scholarships, work and grades all pour over me and I struggle to breathe. I was once alive, a roaring flame that grew with every breath I took. I provided warmth to others but now as I drown I feel myself fading quickly and oh god I don't know if I'll be able to resurface and please will someone help me. 

Reviews

[I Shred This Cabbage]

god you can just feel how much you lived this moment...pure unadulterated poetry! I am the wrong kind of heat...is a wonderful line, if not a little sad but powerfully self aware