A Fear

A Poem by E.G.

I have a fear of my future self
that when a certain kind of situation arises
I won't know what to say.
It's not a ridiculous worry.
For only in hindsight do I ever speak.
When a moment happens I am caught off-guard
and bloody-faced
and when night wakes I scrunch into my pillow
White knuckles and kicking myself
And then, hours and eternity’s late

the words come
dropping like rocks into muted-color ghosts
Line after line of bold eyes and
Unapologetic
I AM NOT WRONG
anger strikes like Lucifer in Eden
Cunning and adamant swaying from branches both evil and good
But
It all comes too late
My confidence is confined to my mind
It rarely leaks out of its cinder blocked cell
And I
I am afraid of my future self
That when I am needed to make a stand
I will crumple