Looking those children of war who suffered most in Syria, really breaks my heart. I wish this war will over and they can re-create their precious lives in the future.
My Review
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This is very sad, but well written. My only criticism for this piece is that sometimes you put the singular of something where it should be plural, for example you said, "The plane keeps flying, seem it chasing our heartbeat," and it should be, 'The plane keeps flying, seems its chasing our heartbeat.' Alrighty? Overall great poem Marc.
How sad. Powerful people struggle for more power, uncaring of the pain and suffering they cause. I keep hearing Obama is going to do something, but have not heard any more than that. I think the U.S. is afraid of creating another al-Qaeda
So sad... It's terrible that because adults don't agree and go to war, children die, or are scarred for life. No one should have to live through such horrible times... Moving piece, and beautifully written.
This is just beautiful and well thought. Great mechanism to spread awareness i didn't even know there was war in Syria and i feel so ignorant. Thanks to your poem now i know and i will do the little i can to help " My Syrian Friend "
Posted 11 Years Ago
1 of 1 people found this review constructive.
11 Years Ago
Thanks Michael, that's amazing to know you are willing to help.
War is a f*****g horrible game that brings out the cunning, vicious killer /survivor in the players. When you're in the middle of it, after awhile, no one is innocent. War feeds itself in a way that can't be understood until you've lived it. It seems so insane from the outside, but on the inside, it has a rhythm and sense to it. Nothing in your life will ever come close to such a defined purpose and meaning for you. War can give you a profound appreciation for peace that many could never understand. I remember just being home from my first deployment to Iraq. I went to a Wendy's drive through. I remember looking at all the cars, scrutinizing little details. Like how low the car was to the ground, if the rear end was lower than the front, if it didn't have a back seat, it the driver looked really stressed (like he was about to blow himself up stressed) The typical things you would look for if you were looking for a car bomb. Then I realized I was back home where people didn't blow themselves up with 1000 pounds of explosives rigged into a Toyota Carola. I've never been able to truly put into words just how I felt in that moment. A weird combination of relief, anger, guilt, anxiety, fear, exaltation and grief. Grief is a big one for me.
Obviously I got a lot from this poem and after everything I've posted all I can say is stop the f*****g fighting. THough on the ground that's next to impossible. THank you
the children, the families..it is heartbreaking to say the least... I know my words are lacking...just know it touches me deeply as I am sure anyone would be ! Thank you for sharing your writing !
I can find nothing wrong with this piece. Very nicely done. The children of syria, we watched some video in the news and I had to leave the room because I was crying so hard. Very powerful and your imagery is great, this almost made me want to cry. Great job :')
DIFC Dubai International Financial Center, Dubai City, United Arab Emirates
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I am just writing for almost 2 months now and no background in the world of poetry. Hope you will always share your wisdom and correct my mistakes as I need it to solidify my dreams to write. Thank y.. more..