Mystic Spells

Sitting here, waiting for you to come out into the light

I am not sure if these things will work out right

 

My heart beats faster than a subway train

I am here asking for your love in this  pouring rain

 

You’re beautiful in my eyes and your love is strong

 

Please hold me tight as we dance in this lovely song

 

Now hear the beat of my heart, catch the rhythmic beat of my desire

Now feel the love I have inside, succumb to my burning fire

 

Are you ready? Kiss me, taste my sweet divine

Drink my liquid like an Italian red wine

 

Unite your strength into my mine for this love will never ends

Give me your love as I give you mine, our love that flawlessly blends

 

Look, look at me, visualize my majestic likeness

Follow; follow me into the trance of my wishes

 

Open your eyes, closely look at my face

Hold me tight, as we fly into this endless space

 

In my dream we were lock in a dissimilar translation

Forever you will be tied up in my future revelation

 

I muttered the mystical spells, our universe accelerates

Our future will be fulfilling, our love  will resonate

 

Spellbound.

 

 

(c) Marc Marlon Villaflor All rights reserved

Author's Note

My concept love story in a new level of defining love through spells.

Reviews

[jkhatz]

The only change I can see to make is in the word, "tights," just remove the "s" at the end and you're golden.

The poem is beautiful, Marc, absolutely gorgeous. Your metaphors are brilliantly illustrated and you draw an exacting picture of a magical love. I need some of that potion! :D

[Marc Marlon Villaflor]

Lol thanks hun, :) I am happy reading your honest reads. Thank you.

[Dhaye]

Wow! Marc, you're really getting into different dimension. Lol. :) Hehe. Imagine, love through mystic spells...

Suggestion: Your Anaphora "Follow; follow...." needs a comma only and not necessarily a semi-colon.

Nice poem. I like it. :)

[Ravyne Hawke]

A beautiful and endearing love poem. I am noticing that your writing style is in two line rhyming stanzas. Most of these work well and do not seem forced at all. Stanza 3 seems forced and "blizzard" and "debarred" do not rhyme, not even as half or forced rhymes. I think if you came up with something else to describe her beauty, you will find some words to rhyme. Also, at the end, if you take out "will", then you can leave the verb as "resonates"; however if you leave in "will" you need to change "resonates" to "resonate". Does that make sense? It's late and I am not sure if I am making sense to anyone. All in all, this was a very lovely love poem and I enjoyed the exploration of it.

[Marc Marlon Villaflor]

Thanks Lori, I appreciate your honest review, I am thinking of re-writing this piece.

[Ravyne Hawke]

You don't have much to rewrite.. a little tweaking here and there and you are set. It really is a lovely poem!

[Marc Marlon Villaflor]

Thanks a lot :), I will try to review when I reach home. I am still in the work and I am not in focus lol :)

[Ravyne Hawke]

sure thing and send me another read request once you've reworked this. Would love to see it again. Have a blessed day!

[Marc Marlon Villaflor]

Thanks again friend. :)

[Ufi Auttorri ~ Amy C. T..]

A good try, Marc! Keep working on that definition. ;-)

[Marc Marlon Villaflor]

Thank you very much for the reads.

[BL]

Graceful power is released through your words there's a really nice flow to your lines and verses. An imaginative proclamation of love

[Marc Marlon Villaflor]

Thanks Bluely love your thoughts.

[Veronica Chandler]

Very powerfully written and intense write about love from a different perspective; the piece built to a crescendo capped off with,
"Our future will be fulfilling, our love will resonates
Spellbound."
Well done.

[Marc Marlon Villaflor]

Thanks Ronnie, appreciate your kind thougths :)

[Veronica Chandler]

My pleasure...

[Ees]

I love it. It's beautiful in a sort of spooky, lovely way.

this line: "You are very near but seem so far, feels like I am debarred"- the first part of it- the language doesn't seem to fit the rest of the poem. It's fine as it is, but the rest of the poem is more... I don't know original and the language more enchanting. You may want to look over that and see if there is a way for you to play with it a bit.

I really like the use of repetition in the 7th stanza. It works really well.

Great job

[Marc Marlon Villaflor]

Thanks a lot Ees I will try to re-write this piece. Thanks for the helpful thoughts.

[Ees]

No problem! Nice work! I just like to point out what I notice in case you were thinking in the same direction.

[A. H. Pinley]

Give me your love as I give you my love, our love that flawlessly blends.

See how this sounds.
Give me your love as I give you mine, our love that flawlessly blends.

[Marc Marlon Villaflor]

Thanks A.H sounds good.

[gabrielle]

Hey Marc! Most of the pieces i read from you were all history-related. Then with this piece you suddenly turned from "history buff" to a romantic writer. Glad you are exploring other subject matters. Sweet write!

[Marc Marlon Villaflor]

Hi Gab actually if you check my archive love poem is my first work lol :) I just make it again, but you are right I am branching in different Genre :) Thanks for the reads, I will review your soon in my day off. Thanks lot.

[Marc Marlon Villaflor]

I mean your work ::)

[Rhianne Ney]

The poem hugs the inspiration used for it. It's unique and well written in my opinion, at least. Continue working wonders, kabayan (:

[Marc Marlon Villaflor]

Thanks Rhianne :) thanks for the reads. :)

[Rhianne Ney]

(; You're welcome

[gombeggar]

yer music add-ons are dibilitating and take from yer work...now u gotz a good start here with this poem but yer pushing yer rhymes and wordings too much...ease up and let things flow...u gotz good ideas here ease them out...if this is about love then don't write it as rough sex

[Marc Marlon Villaflor]

Thanks Gom, I will consider re-writing soon.