Fullmoon, the Game of the Guardians.

The night comes with a lurid full moon

The wolf's howling makes the villager swoon

Nocturnal wings flying sporadically in the cataleptic skies

The sounds of chaos is imminent from the distance miles

The villagers frighten for the arrival of malevolent shadow

He brought nightmares, even killed the tamed breath in the meadow

The Monster forays once again, breaks the wall and captures a woman.

The lady screams loudly, seems there is no way to run.

The Beast severely deep-rooted his fangs into her neck

The woman lost her breath in  a disastrous peak.

The blood strewn all over the base, slowly scattered everywhere.

Causing a horrific death in this gloomy  wicked sphere

The Beast ended his victim by removing her heart with his monstrous paw

Then dropped his prey, he roars, reverberate fears,  reaching the devilish crow.

Chaos is his nature, strikes death in every place.

He fulfills his destiny and follows his kindred wishes

Suddenly the beast detects the arrival of his enemies’ wagon

The guardians open the door, flying sword and silver bullets heading to one direction.

The Monster is quick to leap upward, evades the silver death wisely

He breaks the asbestos roof by his claws, jumping from place to place till he’s free

He fades into the dark realm, wildly victorious and still reign in the dark.

The Guardians failed to kill the Monster; it makes the future looks stark

But still, this is not the end of the game, until the next full moon.

Before the dawn comes, the Guardians will kill this hideous black hairy demon.

The Next Full Moon

Reviews

[Imara]

"The wolf howls echoes ..." I think you mean the wolfs howls echoes. It sounds a little awkward though.
"malevolence shadows..." Malevolent.
There are some more errors like these, I would suggest reading it aloud to yourself in order to catch them.
Good concept but your wording makes it a little strange. I think this would do better as a short story rather than a poem. Great imagery though and a great concept. Overall good job :)

[Marc Marlon Villaflor]

Hi thanks Imara I really appreciate your honest review :) I will do you suggestions :) thanks.

[Leigh]

The moon looks way too close and is obviously having too much effect

[Dakshta]

Next full moon.....I don't think I will even step out of my house the next full moon...

[rhythm&blues]

Such intense imagery, I totally enjoyed this read.

[Gerald Parker]

I can't compete with all the other reviews.

[Marc Marlon Villaflor]

Lol :) Thanks Sir.

[Gerald Parker]

37 reviews - you've been putting yourself about, as we say on this tiny island!

[Marc Marlon Villaflor]

:) I really appreciate the reviewer gestures and the review is very important so that I can improve my work.

[James Hanna-Magill]

Dear Marc

I thought I would pop over to see how you are doing and to review one of your pieces.

I chose this because of the attraction of its title.

You know how I tend to review, so I needn't explain it to you.

And so to the review.

Structure and rhyme: One, twenty-five line stanza, where you consistently use rhyming couplets as in aabbcc etc. That gives it style.

Rhythm: Nothing consistent. Yet at times you can sense a consistent beat. That is in part because some lines are longer than others. And it is worth noting at points, the poem verges more into prose to my ear, rather than verse. However none of that offends my sensibilities. Seems good to me, as in poetry I believe everything goes!

Favourite lines:

'The night comes with a lurid full moon
The wolf's howling makes the villager swoon'

These the opening lines. They are very powerfully expressed and as all good writing should do, engages the reader's attention right from the outset.

'The blood strewn all over the base, slowly scattered everywhere.
Causing a horrific death in this gloomy wicked sphere'

The picture you paint of bloodied carnage is effectively and neatly drawn here.

'He fades into the dark realm, wildly victorious and still reign in the dark.
The Guardians failed to kill the Monster; it makes the future looks stark

It is the rhyme which strengthens the powerful sense of darkness and evil underlying the poem.

Meaning / derivation / style

This poem certainly forms part of the 'Gothic Genre' in its darkness.

That you create a monster here who will kill by biting the neck brings shades of Bram Stoker and Dracula.

That the monster comes out every full moon moves further into the shades of the Werewolf.

Yet the derivation of this piece is either of your own making or may have a source elsewhere.

It is the precision of the storyline, the title 'Full moon, the Game of the Guardians' that gives the first hint. By the way, Marc in passing, it's two words and not one, therefore Full Moon and not Fullmoon.

The word 'game' made me have a look around the internet to see if you meant computer game by 'game' and I fell upon Nintendo's 'Monster Guardians'

I used to play computer games many moons ago and enjoyed them. I am not sure where you pull the idea from as I cannot gather enough information form the internet to compare the poem with the game.

Spelling / grammar: There are a couple of places where it slips. But I am sure you can find them yourself on a re-read.

Overview: A compelling story line, in Gothic Style, well written.

I hope this helps

Your friend

James

[InsanityWriter]

Great work. :) Amazing imagery!!

[Frieda P]

Wow Marc, how did I miss this one...this is bat shyte crazy good! Let me peer into your head my dear friend, I want to see what makes you tick....! Excellent.

[Marc Marlon Villaflor]

Thanks Frie :) I am a little busy, I will catch with you on weekend :) thanks for the reads.

[Ravyne Hawke]

I found this very interesting; however, I couldn't help but wonder why the Guardians had such a small role to play when the title is about them... just something to think about. Great descriptions, good story line.

[Pete Langley]

I`ve got to hand it to you, Marc buddy. Your imagination transcends your lack of diction in spades. For me, this gruesome beast comes over as the repetitive repellent repulsive side of mans character re-emerging periodically. It makes the mind boggle. P.

[Rhianne Ney]

Nicely written kabayan. Great lines

[Marc Marlon Villaflor]

Thanks Kabayan :)

[Rhianne Ney]

You're welcome, kabayan