I packed my bags heading to the elevator
This pain has eaten my soul and I don’t want to stay anymore
My tears already dried in winter’s morning
I want to start my new life and forget you and everything
As I walk through the empty space holding my baggage
Can’t figure out what life could bring in this torn page
I know my life will always be part of you
Even if I am no longer part of your tomorrow
Home, so many years I believed we could put together
Home, I thought would settle our dreams
forever
But now that home is just a cherished memory
In this moment, I am walking out of your life and I am free
Sad memories almost shred me into pieces
Years of undying love I gave to you that nobody can replace
I am moving out, don’t look for me
Forget me, as I don’t want to stay
Home, this is our broken dreams we can’t re-create
Home the place I thought we could breathe
Home that always brought new promises
Home that forever in my heart I will miss
Home that I left because of downfall and infidelity
Home that witnessed all the pain inside of me
Home where you and I no longer belong
Home, a broken home, where our love is no longer strong
Very intense emotions and gripping inner struggles expressed in this work. The title portrays what is basically the "heart residence" and when that is gone "home" goes with it. A unique and creative way to put them into words, the effect is truly sad and tormenting.
Posted 11 Years Ago
1 of 1 people found this review constructive.
11 Years Ago
Thanks Ate Cyn :) glad you like, I couldn't agree more separation is always settled in heartbreaks.
home is where the heart is
where is your heart...
a home can be made of anything that we feel protects us guides us in a way loves us
you have shared a piece of yourself in this and it shows truly
thank you so very much Marc this is lovely
A fervid piece from your inner feeling that you versed well. Great piece.
Posted 11 Years Ago
1 of 1 people found this review constructive.
11 Years Ago
Thanks Sir Ency :) I appreciate your time reading my work.
11 Years Ago
Mafi moskula sadik, if I have time I'll do it.
11 Years Ago
lol Arif arabi ha. lol :)
11 Years Ago
Ana mutakalam Arabi swaya, swaya sadik, he,he,he
11 Years Ago
lol :)
11 Years Ago
Akala mo kayo lang ang marunong dyan sa UAE mag salita nag Arabic ha ? Di pare nagtrabawo din ako dy.. read moreAkala mo kayo lang ang marunong dyan sa UAE mag salita nag Arabic ha ? Di pare nagtrabawo din ako dyan sa Middle East sa Saudi ng 9 years. Sa King Abulaziz Naval Base General Hospital, Jubail KSA, bago ako nag pa States. Kaya marunong pa rin ng kunti mag arabic.
11 Years Ago
:) good kaya pala :) that's cool Sir Ency.
11 Years Ago
Di pa rin makalimutan ang Arabia, dahil may sentimental value ang Saudi sa akin...he,he,he
11 Years Ago
Oo maganda sa Saudi :) walang tax.
11 Years Ago
hindi pare mas maganda dyan sa UAE, sa Saudi, dead ang kaligayahan, walang chicks, wala ang mga enta.. read morehindi pare mas maganda dyan sa UAE, sa Saudi, dead ang kaligayahan, walang chicks, wala ang mga entairments, very conservative dahil Holy Land daw. Pero nakajalusot kaming mang chicks noon kaso patago lang. Pero sabi nila kung patago raw doon ang excitement, ha,ha,ha.
11 Years Ago
Sorry for the typo error - entertainments I mean -
11 Years Ago
lol loko ka Sir Ency buti na lang di ka nahuli lol :) oo kahit saan yata kaso mas mild sa UEA, may o.. read morelol loko ka Sir Ency buti na lang di ka nahuli lol :) oo kahit saan yata kaso mas mild sa UEA, may office din kasi ang Morgan Stanley sa Riyadh, kay minsan doon din ako.
11 Years Ago
wow... sir ency...dito ka pala galing... nasa Jubail ako ngayon... yes... talagang pangit dito kabay.. read morewow... sir ency...dito ka pala galing... nasa Jubail ako ngayon... yes... talagang pangit dito kabayan... patago lahat...hehe...
11 Years Ago
buti pa kayo... medyo fluent na sa arabic... ako malapit na mag two years ganun parin arabic ko... a.. read morebuti pa kayo... medyo fluent na sa arabic... ako malapit na mag two years ganun parin arabic ko... ang kunti... mostly nag e-englis kasi sila dito sa office kaya di ko ma practice...
lol need mo mag talk sa labas para gagaling ka pax :)
11 Years Ago
Kumusta na ba Ang Jubail Pax, Saan ka bang lugar Sa Jubail, Sa industrial city kaba o Sa downtown. S.. read moreKumusta na ba Ang Jubail Pax, Saan ka bang lugar Sa Jubail, Sa industrial city kaba o Sa downtown. Sabi kasi nila NG mg kaibigan na nan dyan pa rin Sa KANB hospital modernong moderno na raw dyan. I miss that place. Very memorable kasi Ang lugar na yan Sa akin, Sa aming mag asawa. Dyan kami nag ka kilala Ni missis nag ka Anak, at sabihan na Natin our haven of love development. Nan dyan pa ba yong Jubail General Hospital of Ministry of Health. Dyan nag Trabawo si mrs. at dyan kami nag ka kilala.
11 Years Ago
sa down town(yun malapit sa jubail center diba)... pangit... padumi ng padumi...lol... pero yung sa .. read moresa down town(yun malapit sa jubail center diba)... pangit... padumi ng padumi...lol... pero yung sa royal commission ang maganda, talaga!... yung camp namin malapit sa downtown... and yes nag work ako sa industrial area...yan mga hospital na yan nan dyan pa... but i haven't gone there yet...wow memorable... ang dami mo palng memories dito...
Better now you are writing in a more personal way and using writing to exorcise whatever ails you. Now you have find out what turns this writing into poetry. It's something to do with getting away from straightforward prose statements, using evocative imagery and fresh language. Change 'we can' to 'we could.'
Posted 11 Years Ago
1 of 1 people found this review constructive.
11 Years Ago
Thanks Mr. Wiseman your words is always and inspiration thanks for the guidance. Appreciate your tim.. read moreThanks Mr. Wiseman your words is always and inspiration thanks for the guidance. Appreciate your time and support always.
This is a mournful piece...but sometimes in order to move forward we must let go of the past. It's a difficult thing. I like the description you put into this. A few small grammatical and syntax errors, but overall, nicely presented.
Posted 11 Years Ago
1 of 1 people found this review constructive.
11 Years Ago
Girl, I really appreciate your honest constructive comments, and I am glad the piece moves you. Than.. read moreGirl, I really appreciate your honest constructive comments, and I am glad the piece moves you. Thanks always. :)
So much heartbreak and finality in this poem. It really does come to the loss of home when a relationship ends. Especially if children are involved. Very emotionally powerful piece!
Posted 11 Years Ago
1 of 1 people found this review constructive.
11 Years Ago
Yes I couln't agree more, it is a heartbreaking moments when time of separation. thanks for your tim.. read moreYes I couln't agree more, it is a heartbreaking moments when time of separation. thanks for your time reading my work.
DIFC Dubai International Financial Center, Dubai City, United Arab Emirates
About
I am just writing for almost 2 months now and no background in the world of poetry. Hope you will always share your wisdom and correct my mistakes as I need it to solidify my dreams to write. Thank y.. more..