HOME

Sometimes we need to say goodbye even it hurts.

 

I packed my bags heading to the elevator
This pain has eaten my soul and I don’t want to stay anymore
My tears already dried in winter’s morning
I want to start my new life and forget you and everything
As I walk through the empty space holding my baggage
Can’t figure out what life could bring in this torn page
I know my life will always be part of you
Even if I am no longer part of your tomorrow

Home, so many years I believed we could put together
Home, I thought would  settle our dreams forever
But now that home is just a cherished memory
In this moment, I am walking out of your life and I am free
Sad memories almost shred me into pieces
Years of undying love I gave to you that nobody can replace
I am moving out, don’t look for me
Forget me, as I don’t want to stay

Home, this is our broken dreams we can’t re-create
Home the place I thought we could breathe
Home that always brought new promises
Home that forever in my heart I will miss
Home that I left because of downfall and infidelity
Home that witnessed all the pain inside of me
Home where  you and I no longer belong
Home, a broken home, where our love is no longer strong

Author's Note

Reviews

[cynthiabuhainbaello]

Very intense emotions and gripping inner struggles expressed in this work. The title portrays what is basically the "heart residence" and when that is gone "home" goes with it. A unique and creative way to put them into words, the effect is truly sad and tormenting.

[Marc Marlon Villaflor]

Thanks Ate Cyn :) glad you like, I couldn't agree more separation is always settled in heartbreaks.

[Mande ThaBoss BabyGauge..]

As you are reading this, you are able to note the feelings of the character well. The sadness and despair that is present in this writing is troublesome, yet moving. The lines are a little lengthy at times, however, good work. :)

[Marc Marlon Villaflor]

Thanks Mande :)

[s y e]

Awwwwh, this was very emotional, and gripping. A great write from you as always

[Marc Marlon Villaflor]

Thanks my friend N.H, your words is always an inspiration, I appreciate your precious time hun.

[s y e]

Anytime sweetie :-)

[Marc Marlon Villaflor]

:)

[AYVID N]

This comes from the depths of a broken, shattered heart.
But it is okay to leave when love no longer lives in a home because then home is not really a home. You wrote beautifully Marc and I like the way the subject says they are free. Yes, freedome is sweet, even if it comes at a cost.

Keep writing. You are a real good writer.

[Marc Marlon Villaflor]

Thanks Div, you are great writer too, thanks for the appreciation :)

[AYVID N]

You are welcome Marc.

[Marc Marlon Villaflor]

Cheers Div!

[ms. barrie]

Oh Marc...this poem is so exquisitely poignant that this really took me back when i had to leave my ex. bf...cats and all. *teardrops* anyhow, wonderfully expressive and raw, lyrical, with amazing fluidity, written with eloquence.

this really lingers in one's heart and therefore very realatahble. in the long run there will and is someone for you out here in the big world who will love you and appreciate you for you.

brilliant use of imagery as well. thank you for sharing, and pen on!

[Marc Marlon Villaflor]

Thanks Barrie.Joy I glad you can relate with this piece. I appreciate and thank you for treasuring this work.

[ms. barrie]

yes, i always have my puffs plus ready while reading poetry on this site, just in case, they came in handy! You're very welcome. I thank you for all your kind reviews upon my writings, Marc. Pen on, :)

[Marc Marlon Villaflor]

Thank you also Barrie Joy. Pen on.

[ms. barrie]

eh, pen has ran out of ink. hopefully soon and thank you :)

[Marc Marlon Villaflor]

:) Ok good luck my friend.

[ms. barrie]

thank you my Poet Friend :)

[Marc Marlon Villaflor]

:) I have a new poem "Half of my life" I would be glad if you can visit sometimes if you are free, thanks my friend.

[ms. barrie]

will sure do, as of now, i think i will visit my sims to get my mind off of stuff. for now i will pocket it though, no worries, Marc :)

[Marc Marlon Villaflor]

Thanks Friend take care.

[Veronica Chandler]

Leaving is never easy and can be so disheartening... for everyone concerned.
The lines,
"I know my life will always be part of you
Even if I am no longer part of your tomorrow" really speaks to how profound an impact people can have on us. Leaving marks on our spirits that linger for many, many tomorrows to come. Well done Sir...Well done

[Marc Marlon Villaflor]

Thanks Ronie :) glad you dropped and review my work it is an honor.

[Buddhistboy73]

Aside from a little "bumpiness" in places, this reads well, and is a fine write, considering you have only just started writing poetry...
You take the reader on an emotional journey here, sharing your pain at the heartbreak of disconnnecting from someone you loved.....
Good write.:)
BB

[Marc Marlon Villaflor]

Thanks :) BB I appreciate your review it really helps me to go forward. Thanks again.

[John Alexander McFadyen]

I get this leaving piece as I left someone last year for the first time in my life. You have captured lots of the emotional turmoil in this piece. A few corrections:




I packed my bags heading to the elevator
This pain HAS eaten my soul and I don’t want to stay anymore
My tears already dried in winter’s morning
I want to start my new life AND forget you and everything
As I walk through the empty space holding my baggage
Can’t figure out what life could bring in this torn page
I know my life will always be part of you
Even IF I am no longer part of your tomorrow

Home, so many years I believed we could put together
Home, I thought WOULD settle our dreams forever
But now that home is just a cherished memory
In this moment, I am walking out of your life and I am free
Sad memories almost shred me into pieces
Years of undying love I gave to you that nobody can replace
I am moving out, don’t look for me
Forget me, as I don’t want to stay

Home, this is our broken dreams we can’t re-create
Home the place I thought we COULD breathe
Home that always BROUGHT new promises
Home that forever in my heart I will miss
Home that I left because of downfall and infidelity
Home that witnessed all the pain inside of me
Home WHERE you and I no longer belong
Home, a broken home, where our love is no longer strong

[Marc Marlon Villaflor]

Thanks Mr. John I always I appreciate your support.

[John Alexander McFadyen]

You are most welcome Marc. I love the variety and diversity of your work.

[Marc Marlon Villaflor]

Thanks Mr. John it looks like I have a supermarket lol :)

[Marc Marlon Villaflor]

Just kidding :) I love the variety Mr. John and it helps me to work more with different genre. Thanks again,

[Pax]

really sad, infidelity ~ is the most hardest to repair in a relations... sometimes its fixed but most of the time not... it's usually the primary cause of broken homes...i find this really a poignant write kabayan... great job!

[Marc Marlon Villaflor]

Thanks Pax :) thanks for appreciation, I value it seriously.

[Trigorin]

Not bad. A few punctuation errors here and there, but you have a very strong concept and you've expressed it well. I personally don't like all the repetition in the very last stanza - I feel like if you're going to do that sort of thing you ought to keep it short, three lines or so, but that's a minor issue. Good work.

[Marc Marlon Villaflor]

Thanks Tri, I always treasure your review.