Clouds Boom

 

 

 

Lick my n*****s

Blow the bubbles

Kiss my lips slowly

Like a cotton candy

Break the morning

With sexual healing

Explore my body

Consider it your property

Best, best, the best

I need another request

Chase, chase, and chase

Now your body get ablaze

My perfect universe drains

Because of the torrential rain

Please let the clouds form

Before we make another super storm

Boom, boom, boom, the sound of thunder,

Your groan wildly gets louder                           

Boom, boom, boom, we sync our passion,

Merge our universe into a common dimension,

Boom, boom, boom, my love please hold,

While we rolled, we explode because of the overload,

                  BOOM!     

 

Author's Note

Reviews

[Pete Langley]

I like the parallels of the tempestuous in clouds and in love making, but I have to admit the poet in me jars at your lack of care in some of your lines, which damages the overall quality of the piece. You have a very active imagination, Marc, but you really need to pay more attention to editing to achieve that extra BOOM! Sorry. P.

[Marc Marlon Villaflor]

Aha thanks Mr. Pete can you revert which part of the lines ruin the work?

[Marc Marlon Villaflor]

I am just writing for a month and no background in the world of poetry. Hope you will always share your wisdom and correct my mistakes as I need it to solidify my dreams to write. Thank you I love you all.

[John Alexander McFadyen]

I can hear the deep base in the background...like the first four lines. Maybe leave out "as" in the fourth line. Can imagine the scene with insistent music booming through the room.

[Marc Marlon Villaflor]

lol Thanks Mr. John I appreciate your time :)

[francis]

nice one marc

[Marc Marlon Villaflor]

Thanks Brother :)

[Frieda P]

Sexual healing, more like thunderous escapades going on here! Sounds like a frenzy of satisfaction, nice way to start the day....this one is a bit different for you Marc, not sure about the Boom booms myself but it stirred me!

[Marc Marlon Villaflor]

lol :) Thanks Frie it is a stress releasing piece :)

[Frieda P]

Ha, I'll bet! :-P My pleasure...

[Marc Marlon Villaflor]

lol :)

[Neva Flores Smith - Cha..]

oh my! Love this, deeply sensual.

[Marc Marlon Villaflor]

:) Thanks Neva I appreciate your precious time reading my work.

[Mike Emil]

yes
i am like thunder in bed
many a woman knows this about me
so why does a boy write about my prowess between the sheets?

[Marc Marlon Villaflor]

Lol :) Yes I thought it burn the bed lol :)

[Gerald Parker]

drainS nor drain. torrential not torrent. Please give your pen a rest. P.A.

[Marc Marlon Villaflor]

lol :) my pen used energizer thanks Mr. Wiseman.

[Dakshta]

okaaayyyy....well that was a nice write :)

[Marc Marlon Villaflor]

Thanks Dakshta :) I appreciate it a lot.

[Brandon S. Whitten]

good read and write.

[Marc Marlon Villaflor]

Thanks Brandon :) glad you like it!

[Daisie Vergara (Dhaye)]

Morning fantasy....and ecstasy???

[Marc Marlon Villaflor]

Lol yes but in a cute form hhehehe

[Marc Marlon Villaflor]

Thanks Dhaye :)

[Daisie Vergara (Dhaye)]

:)