Clouds Boom

 

 

 

Lick my n*****s

Blow the bubbles

Kiss my lips slowly

Like a cotton candy

Break the morning

With sexual healing

Explore my body

Consider it your property

Best, best, the best

I need another request

Chase, chase, and chase

Now your body get ablaze

My perfect universe drains

Because of the torrential rain

Please let the clouds form

Before we make another super storm

Boom, boom, boom, the sound of thunder,

Your groan wildly gets louder                           

Boom, boom, boom, we sync our passion,

Merge our universe into a common dimension,

Boom, boom, boom, my love please hold,

While we rolled, we explode because of the overload,

                  BOOM!     

 

Author's Note

Reviews

[Pete Langley]

I like the parallels of the tempestuous in clouds and in love making, but I have to admit the poet in me jars at your lack of care in some of your lines, which damages the overall quality of the piece. You have a very active imagination, Marc, but you really need to pay more attention to editing to achieve that extra BOOM! Sorry. P.

[Marc Marlon Villaflor]

Aha thanks Mr. Pete can you revert which part of the lines ruin the work?

[Ency Bearis]

Strong words marc with vivid imagery write and great rhyme scheme.

[Marc Marlon Villaflor]

Thanks Sir Ency :)

[Androglossia]

I thought this was going to be a cute poem when I read the title and saw the picture until the "Lick my n*****s" thingy, lol. You got me on that! That was unexpected. I'm not going to worry about your meter because I for one is a sucker for that so I'm just gonna say this is the cutest sex poem I've ever read:D

[Marc Marlon Villaflor]

Lol Thanks Maryanne it is just an experiment :) glad you like it. :)

[Pete Langley]

OK. First, Line 4 should be "Like cotton candy"
Line8 "Make me your property"
Line 10 "-More i need before we rest" (request? naaa)
Line 12 "Now ablaze your body stays" (gets not poetic)
Lines13 &14 should be switched round
Lines 15 "Billow! Let your clouds form" (Please? naaa)
Line18 "Wild your groans grow, louder, louder!"(gets not poetic)
These are only suggestions. All I`m trying to do is encourage you to think like a poet. P.

[Marc Marlon Villaflor]

Ok I got it, this is just an experiment, thanks for the suggestion, I value it more thanks Mr. Pete.

[Carnation]

Very strong poem. Understandable and absolutely stunning.

[Marc Marlon Villaflor]

lol Thanks Friend :) lol this is just my imagination for a clouds with boom! :) thanks for reading.

[Terohime]

This write was good, i enjoyed it. It was full with passion, and that is what i like the most about this poem. The music video you put up on here suited the poem well. Keep up the good work. Looking foreword to more from you. Hope you have a wonderful day.

[Marc Marlon Villaflor]

Thanks Res :) I am very happy reading your review, it means a lot to me. Thanks again.

[Terohime]

Anytime

[AYVID N]

You are rocking Marc. Let's have more such writing. It will only get better and better. Boom! And what a boom!

[Marc Marlon Villaflor]

Thanks Div :) Treasure your time for reading my work. :) thanks.

[Pax]

i feel like this is a relaxing release for you...lol..
the sexual reference makes it so: "sexual healing"
~ but either way, i enjoyed the "Boom, boom, boom" satisfaction in writing!
well done kabayan!

[Marc Marlon Villaflor]

Thanks Pax lol :) I just give it a try :) I am a tryer hhahah.

[Pax]

haha... indeed... a artist always explore... keep it up kabayan :)

[Marc Marlon Villaflor]

Thanks Pax. :)

[Sethnicity]

Yes! Keep it up! Don't Stop till you Boom Boom Pop! Good Job... :D

[Marc Marlon Villaflor]

Thanks Bro. :) glad you like.