A Black Heart (Tanka)

 

 

Cerulean sky

Reflects in my naked eye

The day you left me

You quell my own destiny

A selfish one with black heart

Author's Note

Reviews

[Andie]

So short, but it was so intense.
I read it about ten times. Haha.
Nice one.

[Marc Marlon Villaflor]

Thanks george :) I appreciate your time reading my work.

[Marc Marlon Villaflor]

I am just writing for a month and no background in the world of poetry. Hope you will always share your wisdom and correct my mistakes as I need it to solidify my dreams to write. Thank you I love you all.

[Dakshta]

Really nice, specialy the last two lines :)

[Marc Marlon Villaflor]

Thanks Dakshta :) glad you like it! :) thanks for the review.

[Dakshta]

No problem :) Just a question..what is Tanka?

[Marc Marlon Villaflor]

It is a Japanese old writing :) http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Tanka here is the link you can check the beauty of this poetry.

[Dakshta]

oh ok..yay I learned a new word today! And that Japanese one! :)

[Marc Marlon Villaflor]

lol yeah :)

[Sami Khalil]

I'm experiencing greatness at a higher level...Awesome...:)

[Marc Marlon Villaflor]

Thanks Bro :)

[Sami Khalil]

You are welcome...:)

[Rita L. Sev]

Well done! I have a weird affection for the word "cerulean", you you pretty much had e at hello with this one. :)

[Marc Marlon Villaflor]

Thanks :) Ms. Rita I love it also :) that's why i used it always. lol :)

[Ken Simm.]

A word painting of an instant. This would make a great animation. Excellent work.

[Marc Marlon Villaflor]

Thanks Ken :) glad you drop by and I value your review. Thanks a lot.

[Gerald Parker]

Sorry, I missed a word out before. Er......use of English, you can QUELL someone's fear but not their destiny, in my humble opinion. Check with the experts - I'm only a priggish a*s.

[Marc Marlon Villaflor]

Thanks Mr. Wiseman :)

[Gerald Parker]

yes but you've left 'quell' there. Look up what it means. P.A.

[Marc Marlon Villaflor]

I just maintain it, I will be aware next time around. Thanks for the support.

[Pollai]

Personally, I think the use of "quell" can be valid based upon the interpretation. If used in the context of something which overcomes another thing; I perceive it as saying, that when she left him she overcame/crushed his destiny by becoming his destiny. Again, I think the beauty is in your own interpretation. Cheers!

[Marc Marlon Villaflor]

My reason here because some marriage end up but still the couple won't let anyone of them happy outside their vow and even did not settle signing the divorce paper so I have this idea that he/she quelling the destiny of the person to fall in love again and be happy after the devastating marriage life.

[Inda]

Ohh, this one hits me hard; great job and so little words!

[Marc Marlon Villaflor]

Thanks Brother :)

[Mike Emil]

the alluevial plains

[Marc Marlon Villaflor]

Thanks for the review Mike :)

[Marc Marlon Villaflor]

And that's how Karma sometimes works, if so connected... great lines my friend, an unique way to make something clear in this. Reflection ;) this was good!

- Elisa

[Marc Marlon Villaflor]

Thanks Elisa :) appreciate your review.

Very welcome dear!

[Marc Marlon Villaflor]

:)