Sacred Bath

Moroccan bath regally invades my senses-

Water purifies my soul, weakens my defenses,

 

Scrubbing my peel with opaque happiness,

 

Steamy air filling my lost soul,

 

Rousing my body, I am out of control.

 

 

 

 

Reviews

[Dhaye]

The police has back to work.
Wow! Nice poem.
This could be a good Limericks poem if you follow the AABBA pattern...like:

"Moroccan bath regally invades my senses
Water purify my soul weaken my defenses
Steamy air filling my lost soul
Rousing my body, I am out of control
Scrubbing my peel with opaque happiness."

Anyway, just a suggestion if you want to try Limericks. Ganda kasi eh...

[Marc Marlon Villaflor]

Limericks? it is another style heheheh im sorry I am stranger with this words. I love the idea also :)

[Marc Marlon Villaflor]

Thanks Dhaye :)

[Dhaye]

Yes, Limericks with AABBA format. You can try it with another poem (new piece), not this one.

[Marc Marlon Villaflor]

Ok I will :) thanks Dhaye your such a genius.

[Marc Marlon Villaflor]

You are I mean :)

[Dhaye]

Ouch! Don't make the impossible possible. I just found it that you've been trying to test your talent in making different poems since yesterday in your Haikus up to now in Tanka. Why not try other kinds like Limericks, Cinquain, Diamonte, or Couplet? I haven't tried making Concrete and Sonnet, but i think you can. The easier kinds are the first 6 I've mentioned. I found out that you are the real genius here because you have done a number of pieces today. That means you are a brilliant one...and I? I am just a noble police to guide you. Hehe.

[Marc Marlon Villaflor]

lol Thanks Officer I really appreciate your guidance. I will try just keep watching my work so that other police will not busted me hehehe :) Thanks Dhaye I believe you can do it too, sometimes I am thinking why not we create our own format and style in poetry that not in this world today. lol

[Dhaye]

When we create our own which we think without any format, still we follow a certain kind of poetry... free verse, or even blank verse. That's when you have your freedom in making poem in any length, without considering the rhymes.
When you make your own format, you will be acknowledged like Shakespeare and Lentini in their sonnet. You will probably add the number of poets who would want to create their own format. Lol:)
Actually we have our own styles. It depends on the personality of the author. And your style, some are good but most are very good (Honesty is the best policy.) I really like how you use the literary devices. So please be honest in reviewing my works also. I am not irritated with suggestions because those will enhance my works. (Sadyang nagpapareview ako para ma-edit yung works ko, Piniprint ko kasi at bina-bind para maging book). So when I give any suggestion, I make it sure it is really constructive, not destructive.

[Marc Marlon Villaflor]

Lol yes I am also into honest review kasi doon ka mag grow as serious poets :) pero ang iba titirahin ka talaga heheh :) but I am not affected :) I am more into consttructive, I just consider negative review as a my reference to improved my works.

[Dhaye]

Pansin ko nga. You are respectful. That's the attitude of a real writer... and soon to be one of our Literary geniuses in the history. Hehe.
Pansin ko rin...masaya ang aura ngayon ng Filipino writers. Kahit si Pax...optimistic ang concepts sa last works niya today. Even Maryanne. Ikaw naman para ka lang nagtitimpla ng juice sa dami ng Haiku and other poems na nagawa mo today...because you're having fun with poetry.
Okay, so much conversation. I have to stay tuned to my other favorite writers. Thanks, kabayan. :)

[Marc Marlon Villaflor]

lol Thanks Dhaye I have to go to filipino market to buy foods, off ko na hehe ingatz.

[Pax]

lol.... grabi Dhaye... ikaw na... at ikaw narin Marc... you both are great... i see this conversation is fun and smart... yup, Marc your muse is getting you to write more poetry... and with that its great... keep it up... galing pala itong si Dyahe.. kabayan.. dami mo palang nalalaman in terms of style in poetry...

[Dhaye]

Hehe. Halu-halo uli tayo?

[Pax]

yes, ms Police officer.... lol... I'm glad you notice my recent poems are getting optimistic... yes... segoro ngayon it is meant I'm coping well with the situation... when my poems gets more depressing then that is meant i'm on my depressing mode... time to worry na yan...lol.. ginagawa ko kasing muse yang depressing situation...

[Dhaye]

Hope you won't go back to that situation. It's time to laugh. We have cried so much from our pains. We've moved from darkness to light, and hope not to go back there to suffer again. Time to move on.
Kaya nga masaya pag halu-halo tayo. Hehe.

[Marc Marlon Villaflor]

Thanks Pax thanks Dhaye kararating ko lang :)

[Wórdsmíth]

As usual, you got me again man...you'r writin's always impressed me. your words're powerful again as usual.
well written, nice flow of ink..thanks for sharin' :)

[Marc Marlon Villaflor]

Thanks Buddy, glad you like it, thanks too for the reads.

[Wórdsmíth]

well, man don't mentioned even i love your work always, i think the reason behind it is your short poetry's..lol
neah...your words're too powerful...i always enjoy your work man..

[Marc Marlon Villaflor]

Thanks :) you words is always an inspiration to keep me kicking lol :)

[Wórdsmíth]

Really, well, i use my words myself too to keep me kickin' myself...lol

[Marc Marlon Villaflor]

lol Yes :)

[Eddie Phillips]

Sweet and elegant.

[Marc Marlon Villaflor]

Thanks Brother glad you stops and for the reads thank you.

[Rita L. Sev]

Nice! A beautifully descriptive, peaceful moment shared in your words.

[Marc Marlon Villaflor]

Thanks Ms. Rita your words always an inspiration :) thanks again.

[Gerald Parker]

Very nice. I dare to suggest grammar changes: purifies, weakens. P. A.

[Marc Marlon Villaflor]

Thanks Sir :) right away.

[Gerald Parker]

A case could be made for more commas

[Marc Marlon Villaflor]

Aha :) thanks

[Gerald Parker]

Moroccan bath regally invades my senses -

Water purifies my soul, weakens my defenses,

Scrubbing my peel with opaque happiness,

Steamy air filling my lost soul,

Rousing my body, I am out of control.

[Gerald Parker]

It still needs punctuation, Sir Marc.

[Marc Marlon Villaflor]

:) thanks Sir.

[Gerald Parker]

Nice

[Marc Marlon Villaflor]

Thanks Sir :)

[John Alexander McFadyen]

A nice piece that conveys satisfaction in the description of something mundane like a bath. Nice flow Marc

[Marc Marlon Villaflor]

Thanks Mr. John :) appreciate your words all the time.

[Jack...]

Very cool Marc. It is quite cold here today, which is unusual for us, but your steam bath seemed to warm me up nicely. I like the feel of this piece. Very good.

[Marc Marlon Villaflor]

Thanks Mr. Jack I am very honor you like this piece :) thanks a lot.

[Junert]

Wow. And a perfect rhyme.

[Marc Marlon Villaflor]

Thanks Sis Glad you like it!

[Holly Mason]

reads like a relaxing get away...in a tub*)
a lost soul being filled with steamy air-great imagery
interesting title choice truly
thank you for the bubbles and for sharing

[Marc Marlon Villaflor]

Lol thanks Holly want all readers to have relaxing thought.

[Frieda P]

Whoa Calgon take me away....................! So peaceful, I want to be there right now.

[Marc Marlon Villaflor]

Yea this is a great bath Frie, you will relax after.

[Frieda P]

Can I sleep in it? ;-)

[Marc Marlon Villaflor]

Yes it is complete, you can sleep with the exotic fragrance of essential oil. you can sleep while you soak your body. Or if you want somebody make a massage while you are relaxing.

[Frieda P]

Haha sounds delightful!!

[Marc Marlon Villaflor]

:) if only you are here too much spa here.