Geisha Soup

Noodles sip

In winter’s nip

Asakusa strength

Saves the Tokyo soul

 

 

Reviews

[Rita L. Sev]

Technically, a Haiku can be a non-rhyming poem consisting of 17 syllables or fewer. The 5-7-5 rule is a formula used in American schools, to simplify the form. So yes, Marc - your poem in 17 syllables (I counted) and a Haiku - and a lovely one at that!

[Marc Marlon Villaflor]

Thanks Rita :) I just give it a try, thanks for the info.

[Sethnicity]

Nice layout and presentation blended with comfort food soul. Nice Work.

[Marc Marlon Villaflor]

Thanks again Seth I appreciate your review big time :)

[Sethnicity]

Man talk about Controversy... It's like the Syllable-gate Conspiracy Trial!

[Marc Marlon Villaflor]

What you mean? I am sorry I did not get it lol :)

[Sethnicity]

ohh, it's okay... it's US political stuff.

[Marc Marlon Villaflor]

Aha :) I will call my short poem as Makhu to get away from the relics of Haiku lol :)

[Mike Emil]

still needs saki and plum wine! HAI!!!

[Marc Marlon Villaflor]

Saki is the best! :)

[Coyote Poetry]

Amazing use of words. Artwork and poem create a beautiful and hopeful story. Thank you for the excellent poem.
Coyote

[Marc Marlon Villaflor]

Thanks Coyote :) I appreciate your words all the time.

[Pax]

I poem speaks of tradition and cusine... well haiku or not... its still a poem to me...
wonderfully expressed kabayan...

[Marc Marlon Villaflor]

Thanks Pax :) I just give it a try. :)

[Pax]

your welcome... ok lng yun... before if i can't write anything... i write a haiku... its one of my first love in poetry... i find this very profound so to speak...

[Marc Marlon Villaflor]

lol Yea I love Haiku too :) thanks Kabayan.

[Trigorin]

Well, I personally like my haikus 5-7-5 with no restriction on season. This is something like 3-3-5-5, and while there are people who use 3-5-3 for English haikus, this is obviously not in that form. It's not a bad poem, but I really wouldn't call it a haiku.

[Marc Marlon Villaflor]

Thanks Tri. appreciate your comment.

[John Alexander McFadyen]

Hi Marc, This is a lovely little piece, balanced and meaningful.

[Marc Marlon Villaflor]

Thanks Mr. John :)

[haymaker14]

I believe that a Haiku is supposed to be:
5 syllables
7 syllables
5 syllables
So 3 three lines in the order 5-7-5. BTW you can enter another Haiku in my contest if you wan't to do two. But very nice poem!

[Marc Marlon Villaflor]

Thanks Hay I will :)

[haymaker14]

NP. :)

[Sethnicity]

He's right but there are Abstract and experimental versions of haiku that this does adhere too.

[Marc Marlon Villaflor]

Thanks Seth my takes on this I really don't care with the format because it doesn't make sense if we always follow the pattern and format, what I really care how I directly draw the emotions of the readers to enjoy the reads. After all to get out from the shell will always get the best result, so creativity has no limitations, if this not Haiku maybe I can start naming it my own format lol :)

[haymaker14]

lol

[Marc Marlon Villaflor]

Thanks Haye :) I make you smile.

[haymaker14]

NP :)

[Gerald Parker]

You're working too hard.

[Marc Marlon Villaflor]

lol hehehe :) Yes Sir.

[Gerald Parker]

You could try writing about baked beans, next. Do they have them in your banking complex?

[Marc Marlon Villaflor]

heheheh :)

[Daisie Vergara (Dhaye)]

Nice.
I only know that Haiku is consists of 3 lines (5-7-5) or 17 syllables.

[Marc Marlon Villaflor]

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Haiku :) Hi check this link it might help you to understand more Haiku :) thanks for the review.

[Daisie Vergara (Dhaye)]

Yes, I have also done one piece following the 5-7-5 format. Though sometimes it could be that one not in 5-7-5 format but 17 syllables, or vice versa. But it should be 3 lines only, to follow the 3 phrases of the original Japanese Haiku. You have 4 lines here.
But okay, I'll check it out soon for additional info. Thanks.

[Marc Marlon Villaflor]

Haiqua is the name for Haiku with 4 lines.

[Daisie Vergara (Dhaye)]

Ah, okay. I know only the traditional way of writing Haiku by the Japanese. I became interested with it when I read the works of zainul (he's good in making Haiku though he's not a Japanese).
I see it...Haiqua is one of the modern ways of writing Haiku, or specifically, it's Haiku in English, and it is a variant of this kind of poetry.
Thanks again. :)

[Marc Marlon Villaflor]

Welcome :)