The LOOP

 

Twisted faith embedded in his timeline

Dreaming, chasing the reality that never was.

Pain and dark past hunted the disturbed soul

Images inducing as relic of gone memories

The loop continues with no sign of restraint

Giving a gloomy life of suffering

His mind wants a quick end to this fictitious realm

His heart beats slow seems the faith is gone

Where he is heading is a mystery

What will be his future will defend in his memory

 

The struggles continue in eternity

Dark room, isolated soul plead for freedom.

Countless attempts failed to break the flap

End up into breakdown of ragged dreams

The loop continues with no sign of restraint

Giving pain and locks the memory into darkness

His mind wishing for an absolute end

His heart beats in unfamiliar pound

A silence comes after the tumult inside the dome

Now his soul in peace, he achieves freedom.

 

The loop stops in eternity

 

 

Author's Note

Reviews

[jacob erin-cilberto]

i see someone suffering at the end of his life, just praying for death to come and relieve him of this.

the letting go...the understanding that it will never be the same...the he that once was physically strong is gone...and it is time to "go gentle into that good night"---

nice piece...

[Marc Marlon Villaflor]

Thanks Mr. Jacob your insight is always an inspiration for a newbie like me, thanks a lot for the support.

[Marc Marlon Villaflor]

I mean it is biblical which I applied it here not really my original idea :)

[SM Davis]

Your imagery here is done well. The isolation and desolation is represented well here. Nicely done. :)

[Eddie Phillips]

I liked the presentation of the poem but the story lost me a little. I felt like this poem was about a eternal struggle that never ends. I got a little lost in the story after you said "The struggle continues in eternity" I was thinking maybe you meant "His struggle seems like eternity" or asking "Will his struggle continue into eternity?" I like the poem and the Loop idea. I just got a little lost in the story and thus the meaning.

[Marc Marlon Villaflor]

"The struggle continues to eternity" I believe that this struggle not for human but for the fallen one, the loop covers even the unseen. It is just my idea that there is a second death and the lake of fires for the fallen.

[Marc Marlon Villaflor]

I am just writing for a month and no background in the world of poetry. Hope you will always share your wisdom and correct my mistakes as I need it to solidify my dreams to write. Thank you, I love you all.

[InsanityWriter]

Loved that last line. ;) Great work!

[Marc Marlon Villaflor]

Thanks :) I.W I appreciate your precious time, I will visit your work soon.

[Wórdsmíth]

I analysed these lines,
ountless attempts failed to break the flap
End up into breakdown of ragged dreams
The loop continues with no sign of restraint...nicely written, that's really an amazin' write...

[Marc Marlon Villaflor]

Thanks Bro. :) appreciate your precious time :)

[Strawberry]

Wow, Marc - this was powerful. The picture seemed to really enhance the poem, and I found it depressing (which it was meant to do, I suppose) so good job!

Can I suggest you change restrain to restraint?

[Marc Marlon Villaflor]

Thanks Straw your words always an inspirations :)

[Marc Marlon Villaflor]

Great penning Marc, wow... a true heartfelt write, an ode maybe? that picture is really touching, and gives my mind more to visualize.

You are a soul who feels for humanity, and that's what these words
give me...

"His heart beats slow seems the faith is gone
Where he is heading is a mystery
What will be his future will defend in his memory "

Captivating, and intense...
Never stop writing.

- Elisa

[Marc Marlon Villaflor]

Thanks my friend Elisa your words keep me moving forward to write more. thanks a lot for the support.

The pleasure is mine... this was good... it reminded me even of something simular... so you reached that with me.

[Marc Marlon Villaflor]

:) thanks again my friend :)

[Pax]

i see a lost soul lost in a loop in the spirit world....

"The loop stops in eternity" ~ i see irony in this sentence, as mr. Gerald pointed out something more in this sentence...

For me eternity is like infinity it’s an endless journey… and a loop is a circling journey like karma… “what comes around goes around” ~ then i think what you’re trying to say is that a soul stop or had drop into the loop of eternity and there he/she never moves on for his/her karma is running in the loop of eternity… either way i can be wrong in my interpretation... but still i enjoyed this write and its philosophical value...

[Marc Marlon Villaflor]

Thanks Pax, thanks for your brilliant insight with this piece. I wrote this piece The LOOP for the reason of my personal belief. The LOOP could be interpreted as infinite cycle but I view in different perspective, the loop will stop if we die, our physical life will gone, all our sufferings will gone. The loop will still continue in the resurrection day it is a divine spin and it will stop when the second death achieved.
With this view, I am thinking of the sufferings of the seen and unseen things in this world, all of them suffering in the loop and will suffer more in the judgment day and death will guarantee the end of the loop in eternity. Because for the wage of sin is death.

[Pax]

Aha! Very amusing answer kabayan… I just want to clarify first that I am not questioning any religious matters… and I am one who has faith in him….
About your perspective…. There is a hole in it, perhaps… maybe because you’re talking about one person and that’s our god(I think)~ and to the fact that you’re making it sound as anyone can be resurrected and you’re second death will achieved the end bargain peace… well that’s not always the case right?(diba?) wage of sin is death, no I believed not, pardon me for disagreeing… a sin can be categorized and there are many types of sin… and I think what you’re talking about is the highest sin a man can take “murder/killing someone”… I have talk about this before with a friend of mine here I’ll paste my queries to her:

---------------------------------------
Like murder, do we have to take his life for the grave sin he has committed?
~Do we have any right to take a life of a person as payment for the life he also took?

Like rape, do we have to give this person a harsh punishment as same as the crime committed?
~Do we have any right for any revenge?

All in all the question remains is that: do we have any right to take as much as what is took from us?
Is it really a give and take world…

Is there such a person with pure evil heart, who doesn’t feel fear and love… that deserves no forgiveness.. well there is right… maybe those mentally challenge psychopath… so maybe to take his life is just
ok….well I’m still not so sure…

And about the animals as well is it right to kill them for food…
~is being the top of the food-chain makes us superiors making it really ok to kill a helpless animal for food…. (even though I eat meat I still think about it, taking their lives for food)
------------------------------------------------
If you want to read her response here is the poem: http://www.writerscafe.org/writing/willyampax/1097102/

With all the question kabayan do we have any right to take a life of an individual….maybe I could say god has only the right to do that…

And about this: “The LOOP could be interpreted as infinite cycle but I view in different perspective, the loop will stop if we die, our physical life will gone, all our sufferings will gone.”
~~~~
You know I believe the afterlife… life after death… there is heaven and hell …. There is also a soul that is lost, they call it earth-bound…which are spirits that are not truly in peace …so they roam the earth with unfulfilled wishes… so even in death the suffering may not be stop… only our physical life will be gone but our soul can at any way still suffer from those sufferings… I learned that from watching and reading to many ghost stories in the past… even though some may say those stories are fictitious or there is no hard evidence to prove its facts… I still believed there are some hidden truths in it that which we evade to understand or overlook somehow….

With all that I hope I answered some of your questions… with your thought-provoking response…..

[Pax]

sorry its a bit long... hope you don't mind sharing my thoughts on the matter...

[Marc Marlon Villaflor]

Yea it is true but what i referring is the judgement day of man and the fallen angels. the loop will stop when the judgement day comes.

[Marc Marlon Villaflor]

It is alright we have a healthy discussion, I just thought like that the there will be a judgement day that will correct all physical and spiritual inperfection. :) sounds fiction but that is what I believe.

[Pax]

oh i forgot about that... if judgement day comes will all be sinners go to hell and suffer the eternity of damnation in its fire? but there is still hope, redemption right?

[Pax]

hope i didn't offend you kabayan... so i say sorry again...

[Pax]

that's a releif... thanks... its a healthy discussion indeed...
physical imperfection is truly natural... spiritual inperfection.. depends on your strong belief ...
I am not trying to shaken your beliefs kabayan... we are just here to find some answers ... a better understanding on what we stand for...

[Marc Marlon Villaflor]

It is alright, nothing personal here, like you I am also open for the possibility of learning something, I don't believe in hell fire, God created us, I think it would be a contrast if man will languish in hellfire. We can't measure his love and sin whatever degree and level of sin it is always forgivebable if we asked forgiveness because God is love.

[Marc Marlon Villaflor]

Forgivable I mean lol :) sorry for the typo, anyway I already crossed the board in interpreting this loop. Hope you don't mind my reason.

[Pax]

agreeable...but if you don't believed in hell... then why did god created hell?

[Marc Marlon Villaflor]

Is there a bible passage saying GODs created hell? I am not sure with that statement. :) But I am wanted to limit my takes on this.

[Marc Marlon Villaflor]

As far as I know the lake of fire is intended to the fallen. Not sure if it is also the place for sinned man's soul. :) Really Pax I am lost in this kind conversation lol.

[Pax]

oh...sorry for my that? i forgot... and i did a quick reading on google:
so here is what i found: hell is indeed created by God but only for Lucifer and his angels based on: Matthew 25:41 “Then shall he say also unto them on the left hand, Depart from me, ye cursed, into everlasting fire, prepared for the devil and his angels”

[Marc Marlon Villaflor]

Yea that's what I am talking about the loop of unseen it will stops when the judgement day comes. The loop of seen will stop on the time of his death. I am not sure about the earht bound thing :) though I believe if the persons dies there is no more about him under the sun it is in the bible.

[Marc Marlon Villaflor]

http://www.truthaccordingtoscripture.com/documents/death/origin-of-hell-fire.php I find this interesting :)

[Pax]

really me too.... its hard to answer at times for i had little info about the bible... its quite a profound book to me... matalinghaga kung baga...
so you don't believed in ghost kabayan...

[Marc Marlon Villaflor]

I believe we have soul that is the breath of life na kung wala na tayo babalik sya sa Creator natin, pero I am not sure how would we defined it, since it is no longer capable of sences we have as human, it is a spiritual matter so my knowledge on this is limited, The ghost is a product of our mind what we concieved, and the shifter (The fallen angel) usually grab this chance to re-create the images of our beloved one to connect, but in reality it not our loveones anymore but the shifter. Same with the spiritualist they will used the shifter to connect but it is not true that they connect, it only happens they know the things because they are unseen living together in our world. They knew what we are doing every day :) they have spritual realm and we live in actual realm of earth.

[Pax]

oh interesting... i never knew about this shifters.... so you mean to say that there is no actual ghost but there are fallen angels roaming around in the spiritual realm ... where did you heard about this shifters... ?
the shifter seems like the same witht the doubleganger....which is a bad omen for some...

[Marc Marlon Villaflor]

Yeah in legion of the fallen, theres is a group; some are hardcore, some are whisperer, some are regretful and wanted to comeback, so they help, they give fortune to humans they reveal the secret of spritual healing, astronomy, some are shifters wanted to play human mind, some are originally watchers who watched man in time immorial. They are living in earth since the great fall. varying from different shapes and size. That's why all of our fantasy including angels and mermaid all are true. Hercules is a product of Angel and humans. The giants are true story because of the Fallen offspring. there is a lot, I just read it in an article but I am not sure if its true :)

[Marc Marlon Villaflor]

But i believe that fallen one is the reason of the great deluge in order to end up the savagery of the giants and dimi god. This is in the time of Noah in the Bible. In the time of Jesus the fallen merge themeselves to the swine to avoid Jesus. If you research it there is a lot of story :) but sometimes it also pointless to know all of these thing it is not earthly anynore.

[Pax]

really interesting... thanks for sharing... i like it... and find it fascinating...

[Marc Marlon Villaflor]

:) Thanks for the interest anyway I will try to recall those research I made before I will share it to you.

[Mike Emil]

sounds like mysitting room where i write best

[Marc Marlon Villaflor]

lol :) Really Mike? Thanks for the review :)