The Falling of the Superstar

 

 

 

Accelerated fallen celestial body

Smashed against the surface of this world melancholy

 

Lying cold on the ground

Awakened by the strange sound

 

“This is earth,” he muttered

He felt pain in his mighty wings that looked tattered.

 

He touched his broken wings, they were weak and frail.

He rose up, his body wobbled but he stood still

 

He is asked himself, why? Why he turned into a fragile warrior.

Why he felt all this weakness, suddenly he remembered the door

 

Then he dredged up the fall

Evoke the golden rule

 

“Once you fall

You can’t call”

 

The door is forever closed

He was saddened for the power he lost

Confused and alone

He walked into oblivion

 

 

 

 

 

Author's Note

Reviews

[Sir Joe]

The higher you soar, the harder you fall. The harder you fall, the more painful it becomes. Your poem can draw a a lot of interpretations. Probably it's because of the allegory, metaphors and symbolism that you employed in this piece. Such application is remarkable. The theme is very universal so many can relate to this. I actually many things in mind which I can connect with this poem. One is the big mistake that a person makes that alienates him from God - like the wicked Lucifer who shunned the Kingdom of God and chose to be tied to the evil element inside him. By making such a choice. He is forever not to have a chance to go back to God's domicile. Another thing in my mind is that a person sometimes forgets to keep the stance of his feet on the ground in the middle of his glory. His whole being becomes carried away into loftiness. That's why when he falls, the pain is excruciating, almost unbearable.
This poem reminds me tat it really pays to be humble all the time.
Nice write, Sir Marc!

Consistency in tenses contributes a lot to the coherence of a literary piece. So let me suggest the following changes: (it's entirely up to you if you will consider them)

Accelerated fallen celestial body
SMASHED AGAINST THE surface of this world melancholy
Lying cold on the ground
AWAKENED by the strange sound
“This is earth,” he muttered
He felt pain in his mighty wings that LOOKED tattered.
He touched his broken wings, THEY WERE weak and frail.
He ROSE up, his body WOBBLED but he STOOD still
He ASKED himself, why? Why he turned into a fragile warrior.
Why he felt all THIS weakness, suddenly he REMEMBERED the door
Then he DREDGED up the fall
EVOKED the golden rule
"Once you fall
You can’t call"
The door is FOREVER closed
He WAS saddened for the power he lost
Confused and alone
He WALKED into the oblivion

=)

[Marc Marlon Villaflor]

Thanks Sir Joe your I consider re-writing it, thanks for the support.

[Marc Marlon Villaflor]

Thanks Sir Joe, I consider re-writing it, thanks for the support.

[Marc Marlon Villaflor]

Wow it is look cool now after the editing, thanks Sir Joe :) your interpretation perfectly right, both can be applied in this complex piece.

[Marc Marlon Villaflor]

Thanks a lot Sir Joe.

[Sir Joe]

You're most welcome, Sir Marc. =)

[Sir Joe]

=) I'm always glad to review your works which delight me. =)

[Marc Marlon Villaflor]

Lol thank you Sir :)

[Kenilo Kent]

I love the theme of this poem. It flowed in smoothly though there are slight hindrances in the rhythm. Love it!

[Marc Marlon Villaflor]

Thanks Ken, I am glad you like it. Thanks a lot for your time reading my work.

[Kenilo Kent]

I love the theme of this poem. It flowed in smoothly though there are slight hindrances in the rhythm. Love it!

[Holly Mason]

Lance Armstrong comes heavily into my mind when I read this
he is now a fragile soldier walking into oblivion
a falling superstar for sure
thank you for sharing

[Marc Marlon Villaflor]

Thanks Holly :) yes it could be Niel Armstrong great thought. thanks for your time reading my work.

[Holly Mason]

Lance-the world renown bike rider that just had to return all of his medals due to steriod usage.

[Marc Marlon Villaflor]

Ah sorry :) ahahah

[Marc Marlon Villaflor]

Yeah I heard about him, so sad. Cheating is bad :)

[Holly Mason]

yes it is fine sir I thank you for thanking me*)I like to read you much

[Marc Marlon Villaflor]

:) Thanks Holly I am happy to read that you love my works. It is inspiring me to create more. :)

[Frieda P]

Oh, this is good stuff! Fallen angels, all those questions, why did we fail, where do we go from here, walking into oblivion...been there. This one resonates within such truths in living and being able to find our own strengths & accepting our own weaknesses, many questions in this equation. Love this one!

[Marc Marlon Villaflor]

Yes Frie, thanks your review is always an inspirations. I rest my mind for the love stuff for a while. hehehehe glad you like it :)

[Frieda P]

Ha if it is about life, it's still about love my dear friend. :-)
My pleasure always...

[Jem Sagcal]

Beautifully written and absolutely creative. I always love a poem that possesses meaningful symbols and metaphors. Another poem of yours that I quite enjoy.

I do have one question though. The line "He is asked himself..." May I ask if this was purposely done, because I feel uneasy whenever I read it (Grammar Nazi within me, I apologize.)

[Marc Marlon Villaflor]

I want to integrate the feeling of lost because of the fall, sometimes in real life because of too much tribulation we experience, sometimes we asked where and when or what the reason why we experience this downfall. So my purpose is to create a lost kind of feeling. Though I knew it will contradict the thought of the story.

[Marc Marlon Villaflor]

Thanks for your review Jem, I really appreciate your honest review. Finding my mistakes will help improving my work. Thanks a lot.

[Jem Sagcal]

I understand perfectly now. An amazing thought you've put into it!
And you're very welcome, Sir.

[Jack...]

Very nicely done Marc. I could feel the loss and impending solitude in this piece.

[Marc Marlon Villaflor]

Thanks Sir Jack :) your words always encourage me to write an excellent piece.

[Junert]

Like there's pity for him in here. No one should show compassion for the fallen one. Great literature but I don't like the subject.

[Marc Marlon Villaflor]

Thanks Junert, my sister it is all about the failures of people who forget humility.

[Marc Marlon Villaflor]

lol :) smile

[Junert]

Yeah about that. Now great.

[Marc Marlon Villaflor]

:)

[icelandicblue]

Some fall farther than others and often there is no going back. Humans are well aware of this and using an angel as a symbol of a fall from grace is very effective. I like the format of the poem too.

[Marc Marlon Villaflor]

Thanks Ice, your thought is always a force need to be reckon with you hit the purpose of this piece. Thanks for your time reading this piece.

[Strawberry]

Beautifully horrible. Sorry for the oxymoron. It's well written with lovely imagery but a horribly depressing message. It really makes the reader wonder what happens to cause the angel to fall.

[Marc Marlon Villaflor]

:) My point here is stay humble even you are in the top it is not angel alone, it also applied to people who forget humility.