The Falling of the Superstar

 

 

 

Accelerated fallen celestial body

Smashed against the surface of this world melancholy

 

Lying cold on the ground

Awakened by the strange sound

 

“This is earth,” he muttered

He felt pain in his mighty wings that looked tattered.

 

He touched his broken wings, they were weak and frail.

He rose up, his body wobbled but he stood still

 

He is asked himself, why? Why he turned into a fragile warrior.

Why he felt all this weakness, suddenly he remembered the door

 

Then he dredged up the fall

Evoke the golden rule

 

“Once you fall

You can’t call”

 

The door is forever closed

He was saddened for the power he lost

Confused and alone

He walked into oblivion

 

 

 

 

 

Author's Note

Reviews

[Sir Joe]

The higher you soar, the harder you fall. The harder you fall, the more painful it becomes. Your poem can draw a a lot of interpretations. Probably it's because of the allegory, metaphors and symbolism that you employed in this piece. Such application is remarkable. The theme is very universal so many can relate to this. I actually many things in mind which I can connect with this poem. One is the big mistake that a person makes that alienates him from God - like the wicked Lucifer who shunned the Kingdom of God and chose to be tied to the evil element inside him. By making such a choice. He is forever not to have a chance to go back to God's domicile. Another thing in my mind is that a person sometimes forgets to keep the stance of his feet on the ground in the middle of his glory. His whole being becomes carried away into loftiness. That's why when he falls, the pain is excruciating, almost unbearable.
This poem reminds me tat it really pays to be humble all the time.
Nice write, Sir Marc!

Consistency in tenses contributes a lot to the coherence of a literary piece. So let me suggest the following changes: (it's entirely up to you if you will consider them)

Accelerated fallen celestial body
SMASHED AGAINST THE surface of this world melancholy
Lying cold on the ground
AWAKENED by the strange sound
“This is earth,” he muttered
He felt pain in his mighty wings that LOOKED tattered.
He touched his broken wings, THEY WERE weak and frail.
He ROSE up, his body WOBBLED but he STOOD still
He ASKED himself, why? Why he turned into a fragile warrior.
Why he felt all THIS weakness, suddenly he REMEMBERED the door
Then he DREDGED up the fall
EVOKED the golden rule
"Once you fall
You can’t call"
The door is FOREVER closed
He WAS saddened for the power he lost
Confused and alone
He WALKED into the oblivion

=)

[Marc Marlon Villaflor]

Thanks Sir Joe your I consider re-writing it, thanks for the support.

[Marc Marlon Villaflor]

Thanks Sir Joe, I consider re-writing it, thanks for the support.

[Marc Marlon Villaflor]

Wow it is look cool now after the editing, thanks Sir Joe :) your interpretation perfectly right, both can be applied in this complex piece.

[Marc Marlon Villaflor]

Thanks a lot Sir Joe.

[Sir Joe]

You're most welcome, Sir Marc. =)

[Sir Joe]

=) I'm always glad to review your works which delight me. =)

[Marc Marlon Villaflor]

Lol thank you Sir :)

[dave]

Awesome! The idea reminds me of Philip K. Dick's "Flow my Tears, the Policeman Said" in which an ultrafamous TV star wakes up one day to find out that no-one knows who he is. Both the story and your poem are great reads- as always. I think that the few lines of dialogue you added really added power to your writing. The line "He felt pain in his mighty wings that looked tattered." seemed a little weak compared to the rest of the poem because of the lack of flow between the last few words. Perhaps
"He felt pain in his mighty wings, it made him shudder", it's just that "that looked tattered" sticks out from the rest of the poem. Perhaps it's just me- but as usual, great job!

[Marc Marlon Villaflor]

Thanks Dave I will consider your idea it makes sense :) thanks a lot for reading my work. I appreciate seriously.

[Mike Emil]

arrgh!!! fallen angels begot giants on the earth

[Marc Marlon Villaflor]

Thanks Mike for reading my work. Your statement is 100% true.

[Trigorin]

You've done this fairly well. I don't really like the narrative format of this - it seems to me that you're sacrificing a few of the more attractive qualities of the format of poetry in order to capture that tone, and it's not really what I would have done, but it is your poem, after all. Well-written as usual - good work.

[Marc Marlon Villaflor]

Thanks a lot Tri :) I appreciate your review as usual it makes me smile. I am happy reading such words.

[Peter H]

this was a good poem about the choices we all make and the consequences of those choices , u added the divine spin perfectly to it :) i liked this one good work marc

[Marc Marlon Villaflor]

Thanks Brother your words is always an inspiration. thanks for reading my work.

[Girl Friday (Sarah W.)]

The bigger the leap, the farther you have to fall...but that doesn't mean we should stop trying. I like this one. The last few lines really got me. I don't have a lot to say, because this one got to me in a good way. Nicely done.

[Marc Marlon Villaflor]

Thanks Girl :) thanks for your time reading my work.

[John Alexander McFadyen]

Another very powerful and strongly depicted poems of yours with a fantstical flavour Marc.

[Marc Marlon Villaflor]

Thanks Sir John, Thank you for your time reading my work and I appreciate Thanks Sir John for your kind words, this is the reason why i love to write more because of your support. :) thanks again.

[Marc Marlon Villaflor]

Sorry for the repetitive addressing your name :) glitz.

[John Alexander McFadyen]

No worries it is a joy and an education to read your work Marc.

[Marc Marlon Villaflor]

Thanks again Sir John. :)

[Gerald Parker]

Sorry, Sir Marc, but I'm confused, probably because this is about a world I don't know. What or who is this superstar? Why do you write about him? By the way, say 'He walked into oblivion.' Not 'the' oblivion. He do you know he did all these things? How do you know what he thought and said? If he walked into oblivion how do you know what happened to him immediately before?

[Marc Marlon Villaflor]

Sir Gerald thanks for reading, I wrote this material reflecting the human natures and the celestial being’s downfall. The falling of the superstar is a universal approach influence the idea of hierarchy, power and failure. In human context it is a dilemma of human being to sustain the art of humility while enjoying treacherous nature of fame, while in celestial perspective it is a moment of rebellion that cost of losing their divinity and rights.

[Gerald Parker]

I have a question - why do you care about the treacherous nature of fame. Who cares? What about people who don't believe there is a celestial being? Here's a question for you - would there be the idea of a celestial being if someone hadn't thought of it? Someone can think of a wheel and it can be invented and become a reality. But can someone think of a celestial being, invent it and it becomes a reality? What is divinity?

[Marc Marlon Villaflor]

I believe the idea of celestial bodies, just like I believe there is God. I can feel the blowing wind but I can't see it. I can't even create it by myself.

[Marc Marlon Villaflor]

Divinity is pure created by Fire not by dust.

[Marc Marlon Villaflor]

I just want to reflect the art of humility in this poem, literally our society today blinded and sometimes compromised humanity because of fame.

[Gerald Parker]

It's mythology, just a way of trying to understand life. It's also mind control.

[Gerald Parker]

Writing poems about society won't change a thing.

[Marc Marlon Villaflor]

Thank you Sir, but I think we should not debate :) I am happy writing this piece. Also, I respect your belief.

[Pete Langley]

First, Marc, your allegory is superb.The make-up of the piece is outstanding and poetic - and as a piece of poetry, I love it. If I may allude to sir joe`s appraisal, I agree completely with his "earthly" interpretation but I demur with the "celestial" part, preferring to place emphasis on ethics rather than morals (which were born of religion as a means of providing a code for a cohesive society). All in all a fine piece. P.

[Marc Marlon Villaflor]

Your words is always an inspiration Sir Pete, Thanks for the honest review :) I really appreciate it.

[Devanshu Rajput]

i totally agree with previous review.....a very nice stuff...a great concept but writing was much excellent than it....keep writing....

[Marc Marlon Villaflor]

Thanks Raj, reading your review is a big thing for me. Thanks Bro.

[Devanshu Rajput]

welcome......thanks for sharing the great piece

[Brandon S. Whitten]

Excellent read and write. The walk of humanity still oblivious, well not everyone. Some bump their head, stumble before they walk steadily into a world once seen from afar and begin to remember everything.

[Marc Marlon Villaflor]

Thanks Bro. :) I appreciate your honest review :)