I love what you did with this poem. Nature just naturally calls out to me in ways that nothing else can. Whether it be in connection to spiritual things or love, nature feels honest. Great title. Each three word choices has me stopping to receive from it.
Not bad. I like your triune theme and I think it works fairly well in this. Well-written, and you use some very clear imagery here. Well done.
Posted 11 Years Ago
1 of 1 people found this review constructive.
This comment has been deleted by the poster.
11 Years Ago
Thanks Trigorin your honest review is always a factor why I am still writing. Thanks for your time r.. read moreThanks Trigorin your honest review is always a factor why I am still writing. Thanks for your time reading my work.
I really like the contrasting colors of
"Rainbow, jewel stone, and fire
Passionate love we both enjoy and cherish
Storms, big waves and earthquakes
I’m wondering if we could build a life together"
I think that you did a really good job (and do so throughout a lot of your works, I might add) of painting a picture with only few words. You pick the right words, though, and can tie together entire scenes in as short as four words. You never cease to impress me, Marc. I'm sorry I can't provide any criticism, its just your poems are too good. You have some serious word skills.
Posted 11 Years Ago
1 of 1 people found this review constructive.
11 Years Ago
Hi Dave your words is an inspiration, thank you so much for believing and adoring my work. I appreci.. read moreHi Dave your words is an inspiration, thank you so much for believing and adoring my work. I appreciate it big time.
Sounds as though you set up house together, hoping that happily ever after would come visit...and you only got the rain and empty boxes, not to mention a broken heart. Shades of love in this, didn't expect it go dark at the end though...simple and to the point, the pitfalls of relationships and our expectations.
Posted 11 Years Ago
1 of 1 people found this review constructive.
11 Years Ago
Thanks Frie :) you got it! thanks for your time always reading my work. :)
11 Years Ago
My pleasure...you still stuck on this woman?
11 Years Ago
hahahah :) not anymore I said goodbye :)
11 Years Ago
Good night Frie, I will sleep now its 1 Am now. See yah tomorrow. God bless.
I like the use of light, dark and color in this piece. They are very effective in building imagery and mood.
Posted 11 Years Ago
1 of 1 people found this review constructive.
11 Years Ago
Thanks Ice, glad you like :) actually I am hesitant how the writers will react with this piece thank.. read moreThanks Ice, glad you like :) actually I am hesitant how the writers will react with this piece thanks for the review.
Whilst reading, I honestly thought it would end up as sweet as how it began. I loved how I was greeted with a twist. From sweet, adoring words, to lines filled with sadness and pain.
I loved that shift of feeling I received after reading your poem, Sir. I very much enjoyed this piece.
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About
I am just writing for almost 2 months now and no background in the world of poetry. Hope you will always share your wisdom and correct my mistakes as I need it to solidify my dreams to write. Thank y.. more..