Forgotten

Alternative Poem

Living in the violent world

My life started to unfold

 

Chasing time, chaos striking

My life struggle in dealing everything

 

My moma keep telling me, not to give up
Always think the nation and be tough

But my faith lost in this never ending war
I am not sure if I can still do this far

Wasted too much time, want to settle down
Now, I am walking alone in this ghost town

Have your heard the explosion?

did you consider their emotion?

 

Have you seen a confuse mother on the street?

The families dreams shattered including their faith

 

Can you hear the cries of the  children
No one, any of us, will hold our gun and start to listen

A father lifeless body lying blooded on the ground
Buildings and houses blown up, spreading chaos if you look around

I couldn't stop this lies anymore
too much evil, too much greed, I did not know what I am fighting for

Want to come back home, to be with my family
I want to come back home to be free

All of us fighting for nothing
this will not settle everything

Can we just embrace as humans and forget differences?

All of us as one world? to create a better place?

Wanted to end this war, those innocent people killed
those promises and lies of leaders, those cunning future that we never build

Reviews

[Sheik]

world and unfold don't rhyme. dealing "with" everything. "keeps" telling me. think "of" the nation. faith "is" lost. "never-ending" "I am not sure if I can still do this far" doesn't make sense. "confused" mother. "families' dreams" "father's" lifeless body lying "bloodied" couldn't stop "these" lies anymore. I "do" not know what I am fighting for. "this" cunning future.

[Marc Marlon Villaflor]

This sucks, I dont even like it :) lol you can read my other poem.

[AYVID N]

A touching poem on the evils of war and it's futility. This line depicts the greatest tragedy of useless skirmishes:
" Have you seen a confuse mother on the street?
The families dreams shattered including their faith"

I suppose we'll take time to learn...to evolve.

A great rendition on war!

[Marc Marlon Villaflor]

Thanks Divya I really hate war, I even cried if I see children with their mother crying things like that it breaks my heart. :(

[AYVID N]

I agree Marc. And it's the worst and i mean the worst if anything happens to little children! I die a thousand times myself when I see such gruesome stuff! Thanks for writing this poem!

[Marc Marlon Villaflor]

Welcome Divya :) can you check the version of Simpleminded to my poem "My body is your kingdom." It's great :) love her version.

[Coyote Poetry]

I hate war. I was a Soldier for 15 years. I saw too much death. No-one win in war. The poor people in the way of war pay the price for men in high places lies and stories. We need logical leaders willing to fix problems. Not create them. The photo gave life to the powerful poem. Thank you for sharing the excellent poem.
Coyote

[Marc Marlon Villaflor]

Yes its very sad...especially you, you have a good picture how it looks like being a soldier. thanks for reading bro. :) I'm proud of u

[SimpleMind]

I am always fond of reading stories behind wars, especially World War II... It's really terrible and horrid and evil.

[Marc Marlon Villaflor]

That's true. :)

[SimpleMind]

Pleasure :)

[char]

Nice narrative. But as Jacob said, minor editing would make the read smoother. Like this though. :D

[Marc Marlon Villaflor]

Thanks Anna :)

[RachelReaper]

awesome! This told a real story and had a message in it that everyone can learn from.

[Marc Marlon Villaflor]

Thanks Rachel

[jacob erin-cilberto]

this moved me very much...needs editing to smooth out the read...but intensely provocative in its narration.

[Marc Marlon Villaflor]

Thanks Jacob :)