Day 1

The nanny reflects on her first day on the job.

Day 1

   Patrick and Joseph. Just as their names, the boys are as polar opposite as they could be. Patrick bearing blond hair and green eyes while Joseph sporting brown hair and blue eyes. Their personalities are quite different as well. Patrick longs for his family to repair itself and Joseph seeks the family he never had. And while Joseph mostly keeps to hiself, Patrick is very outgoing.
   I took the bus from school to their house along with Joseph. He let himself in the back door little discussion. Upon asking about his homework load he tentatively replied that he did indeed have a bit but clearly had no desire to tackle it right away. Knowing the feeling well, I made no attempt to force it on him. As soon as we were inside, away from the icy single-digit temperatures of late January, Joseph retreated directly to the boys’ living room. It took him no time at all to occupy himself so I quickly left my bag and purse in the mud room, familiarizing myself with the house. While we waited for Patrick to get off the second bus, Joseph showed me his love for humor. Almost instantly I was under the impression that Joseph had not experienced real one-on-one attention in some time. His eyes lit up with every laugh that excaped my lips. As soon as Patrick entered the house I notice an immediate silence in Joseph, as if he wished to keep secret the time I had spent with only him.

The boys kept to themselves for the first hour or so of their afternoon. They came and went as they pleased, doing what they wanted when they wanted. When I sat them both down at the table to do their homework, they looked like beaten dogs. I hoped that by having them get it done at the same time we would avoid any question of its completion later in the evening. I was sure to sit down with them as I know in the future I will also have work needing attention. Happy that I did no have any homework, I had the chance to feel out the individual needs of both the boys. It was soon after we commenced that I found the first equality among the brothers. Both Patrick and Joesph are book-smart. It took a few moments to settle Joseph at the table but once there, he proved to be quick to pick up on patterns, accurate in calculating in his head, and fluent when voicing reason. Patrick appeared to be intelligent in a different way. He found tricks to make his effort less necissary, somehow managing to conclude with the correct answer every time. I was glad to see that there is one topic in which the two are excelling at the same speed.

While Patrick and I waited for Joseph to complete his homework, I found myself in a very interesting situation. There was a instant in our converstation when Patrick pointed out how much he misses his father. At the sheer mantion of his name and relation, I noticed Joseph wince. Not in pain or surprise, but almost...disgust. Joseph was fast to assure me that his father was mean and that he hates his father. Upon further discussion I heard that the boys really had no play things at their father's house for when they visit. They also pointed out to me that while the two of them may play out side and find thigs to do inside on bad days, their father watches television and sleeps the entire time. I felt a deep pain in my chest when they told me this. The sound of disappointment in their voices made me want to scoop them into my arms and never let go.

The three of us came to the argeement that we would prepare supper to be served between five thirty and six o'clock. It was not until after we were ready to sit down that I came to the realization that these boys had never sat at a table to eat together as a family. Patrick looked at me as though I had two heads. Joseph, on the other hand, had nothing to say. He sat down without arguement and though he did attempt to begin before his brother and I had our food, he complied with my request for him to wait for his brother to be served. Supper itself was uneasy, but that was to be expected. I know the boys; I teach their Sunday School class. Even so, they were not sure what to expect, not that I was not prepared for the akwardness between us. Before I could come up with anything to say, however, Joseph spoke up.

"When were you adopted?"

Now, I have never hid that fact from anyone, given as how I am quite proud of it, but I did not recall ever telling these boys that I was adopted. I was clearly taken aback by the question. Remembering that Patrick attends school with my younger brother, and that Joseph used to do the same, it then made sense why the question had presented itself so suddenly. I answered him quite simply and a waterfall of questions followed. He wanted to know everything form where I am from to what the Department of Children and Families office looked like. Patrick took it all in, adding a few questions of his own in now and then. I was very surprised to see and hear the enthusiasm in Joseph until I came to the realization that he seemed to actually want to be adopted. I had to fight to keep the tears from pouring out of my eyes.

After supper was cleared, I stood in the kitchen, not sure where to begin with the mess that had been present upon our arrival. I looked to the side to see Joseph standing beside me. He explained to me that he enjoyed drying dishes and was willing to aid me while Icleaned the kitchen. Greatful for the assistance, I eagerly handed him the drying towel. He did indeed seem to like helping. When I asked him if he often did the same with his mother while she washed, he answered quite simply that, no, he did not. He said that she did generally allow it. I felt yet another pain in my chest to know that Joseph longed for something he was unlikely to ever recieve.

The night ended with a heated war with Nerf guns. Their mother brought me home and promised to call the following week to confirm my next day. Waving goodbye and goodnight to the boys, I turned toward my front door with a new perspective of my own family.

Author's Note

this isn't done but i'm open to suggestions.