Dying flame

Dying flame

Every day is a struggle to follow you as my flesh takes over,

I have fallen so deep into the darkness, but all the while remained sober.

My self righteousness has made my heart so bitter,

where is the fire inside that kept me warm last winter?

I thought these flams could never burn out,

But honestly, I’m begging to have my doubts.

I look into the mirror and ask myself “who I have become?”,

I feel as if I don’t know who I am, but still pretend to be someone.

The storm is coming and I am so unprepared,

I’m lost, broken and increadably scared.

Please oh please, open up my chest and place inside a renewed heart,

I need your presence and a love that will never part.

I’m so sick of the life I have been living,

I spent so much time on hate, and so little on forgiving.

Forgive me, forgive me, I am so weary and broken,

I so desperatly want to know the perfect love in the words that were spoken.

I need a savior, one to make me whole,

Light my fire, one that can’t be controlled.

Tare down every part of me that is not of you,

Build me a foundation that is pure and true.

The man that I am will soon be no more,

burried and dead, rotten to the core.

A new creation is my true destiny,

washed in royal blood, from the darkness I am free.

Reviews

[Ohhhwillow]

I merit your ability to accurately portray an atmosphere through imagery that matches the emotions, this is a really great piece! Only thing I would say is that although an AABBCC rhyming pattern establishes flow it can also lead a writer to using words he never would have had they not happened to write, you seem to avoid this however I'd just say be aware of it, free-hand can be just as well flowing. :)