Closed door

A husband who fights with his wife and realises his fault as he travells across the same places. He decides to go back to apologise and make up with his wife. Will his wife agree?

Closed Door

6.45 am…. ‘Smile please’ with a kitten smiling poster on the door. Remember buying it when richa looked at it and said ‘”kittu its awesome, looks like you please buy , please please please please …”. Looking into her eyes I could have never said no. Ironically she is behind this door now.

 I yawn like I had a complete sleep. You always have a complete sleep when you sleep on a sofa, only thing you complete yesterday’s sleep and today's sleep carries forward. Ufff ‘carries forward’ is what I learnt at an audit office and continue to use it after becoming a chartered accountant. It’s now seventeenth day of my life on the sofa and ‘my life’ behind the door. The longest fight I remember in 8years we had. The typical 21^st and 22^nd century girls reason ‘men don’t give time’. Recall reading somewhere we earn money to enjoy time and don’t realize time never existed. I wake up looking at the clock which shows I am late by 45 minutes.

Covering myself in the blanket and tuning my mind for another 45 seconds, I finally wake up rushing towards the bathroom. The cold water bath lasted less than 45 seconds. Wiping my hair I look into the mirror and curse myself for fighting with her. She always woke up early, the hot water along with hot tea was such a gift. Wearing my scented socks I look at the kitty with the most absurd look. I wore my shoe and made up my mind and prepared myself for continuing the world war three.

I boarded the bus, it’s a 23 km journey to work place. I said km and not time because the traffic in Chennai is similar to a wife, u never know how it behaves. An average two and half hour journey from palavakkam to roypettai. The conductor doesn’t even mind asking me for ticket. He has been watching me from eight years and is more than aware I carry bus-pass after the first fight he took up with me. Still remember that day, it was the first I saw richa and missed a heartbeat. “Where’s   your bus-pass asked the conductor to this long haired, salwar wearing girl. I couldn’t see her face clearly but heard her soft voice saying “uncle, I forgot to bring and I would be late to go back home and bring”. That’s when I rechecked my pocket to realize I also had forgotten my bus pass too but had money enough to reach the exam Centre. I walked towards the conductor and gave him the money on her behalf and moved back to my place in the crowded bus. The conductor took some time to manage the crowd. I dint try looking for her and finally she I had to see and saw someone smiling at me and whispered saying thanks. I blushed and said to myself thanks and conductor responded saying “buss pass or money, I don’t take thanks”. I said him bus pass and he as expected asked me to show and I was kicked out of the bus by the conductor after abusing and being abused. I walked towards the examination hall with lot of pride. I felt I was a saviour. I sang few songs and took lifts to reach the exam hall. I looked for the exam room and walked towards it. Already late I ran towards the hall at the third floor. I entered the hall and the invigilator gave me the paper and directed me towards the seat. “God, are u really this awesome” is what I said to myself seeing the person sitting next to me. I unfolded my shirt and looked at her and asked her “in today’s bus, you found your saviour for life and I found my heart beat for life”. She gave me a “WHAAT” look and continued.

I finally get a seat. I relax and with a long breath I feel I should go back and say richa the same thing. I plan to do the same after reaching home and telling her the same thing.

The best part travelling alone is that you spend lot of time with yourself. I was doing that and thinking ‘medically missing a heartbeat would kill you and romantically it could get you married and then fight and then wife goes behind the door and you would eventually get killed by tension and pressure’.

This travel is a little special. Special because I felt I was wrong and have to say her sorry and how special she is.

Half way through the journey to office, I come across marina beach and making me feel lonelier. Richas favorite spot. She always wanted to get married at the beach. I found it stupid. Yes, now I should bring her in the evening to the beach and amuse her. Chartered accountants are not that boring, they too could be creative. I continue to be nostalgic scratching my leg and cursing the socks.

Finally office, I don’t want to go. I need to end this fight. Need to apologise for not giving her time and not respecting her. After all she left her family to live her life with me.I board the same bus and sleep in the bus till the conductor woke me up “sir, palavakkam”. I woke up and walked towards home. I kept waking with a sense of relief. I had to say her what I said her when we met first. I reach the gate only to see my psychologist.

 

“Then what happened papa” asked Rohan. He was eight and he still loved bed time stories and anything about his mom was special to him and me. I look at him and say him that I would continue tomorrow. He falls asleep.

 

He wouldn’t understand what happened to his mom even if I explained to him that I had become someone with an unsound mind when I realized his mom had expired. She died of cardiac arrest while sleeping. I dint accept it till the 17the day till I was woken up by doctors and family. I had closed the door along with him and travelled every day till office and returned back and slept on the sofa seeing the smiling kitty poster on the door. Rohan was lucky to survive the insanity of his own father. The rehabilitation took 4 years to get me back to lead a normal life.

It’s late and I look at the smiling kitty on the closed door. I lost my loved one behind that closed door, it made me realize her absence made created a vacuum. I only realized that when I dint give her time it was happiness that was getting closed behind that door. The kitty continues to smile…..

 

Reviews

[mani]

reviews can always improve me !!! feel free to review / criticize...