THE RACE

just a nascar race!

The cars are on the track, going round and round,

After a few laps, the "start and parks" cannot be found.

A rookie makes a mistake and he finds the wall,

Nascar steps right up with the first caution call.

 

My driver is passing everyone in his sight,

Looks like he might be celebrating big tonight!

He's running door to door with your favorite guy,

Gives him a one fingered wave just as he rolls on by.

 

They crash and they bash and they rub and they race

The others do their best to just keep pace.

My driver says, "I can win this thing, have no fear."

Just got to keep all these other guys in my rear view mirror!

 

Reviews

[Ose Mountain]

I can tell you had some fun with this. Next time your at a fair. Drive a bumper car fo fun.

[An owl on the moon]

Your rhythm and rhyme keep the roar of engines and the crowd stirring us along! Smiling at the end and hoping for the best!

[twinklestar]

haha this is wonderful ;) epic write loved it

[Mark]

Nicely done :)

[mandy]

thanks, mark

[Damien Davison]

I liked it because it is not something I'm used to reading about. Took me in to something I scarcely think about. Thought it was great.

[mandy]

thanks..it is just a little nothing ditty imo. lol..i am surprised at the attention it received. it was just for fun.

[David Scott]

Sounds like you love the stockcars. I'm not sure if I loved the poems structure and flow, but that may not matter to you at all. Keep writing and have fun!
Be Well

[mandy]

thank you. as i stated before, this was just a little ditty i threw together fast.

[J. Viands]

R.I.P Dale Earnhardt

[mandy]

yes indeed! and i would say, go jr, but i am a jeff gordon fan

[Andrew N. Farrens]

clever......I'd say more but this damned thing on my Writer's Cafe home page just informed me that I have over 30 read requests and that sort of intimidates me because I don't want to seem like an A*****E or something by taking too long to respond......
good stuff, I enjoyed it much and thank-you for sharing it.
ANF
100/100

[mandy]

thank you

[Claire Twinn]

I like your two lines starting crash and bash. I wonder if using shorter lines might create the sense of speed the race gives?

[mandy]

that might be. i never considered this a serious piece of work, it was thrown together in about 15minutes for the amusement of my friends who are nascar nuts like i am.