alone

you leave me in the dark
alone, waiting
though i cant see
i dont need light to hear
the sound of you
leaving me

Reviews

[SheActsLikeSummer]

This was excellent. I can really feel the emotion. I enjoyed how it was short; concise but I don't know... maybe you could tell us what the sound is. Heavy footstep, clacking heels? I don't know. I just think that would add another level to the poem, make us feel more for the 'i' in the poem because of what it symbolizes.

[Sam Gregory]

Short ut powerful, it really impresses me when poets do so much with so little. Only true poets can force an emotion on readers with 6 lines. Very well done :)

[Sam Gregory]

*but

[Forever Hidden]

This sounds like when my dad drops me off at school! Then my mum picks me up when everyone is gone! LOL! Really good. I think a lot of people can relate to this! Good job :) :)

[Owlgirl]

Well written with pouring emotion, very well done. In my personal opinion it seems a little cut short, maybe you could add a couple lines in the middle? Not sure, it's up to you. Other than that, it's excellent, overall it's a beautiful poem.

[Cristina Moldoveanu]

alone, waiting in the dark, are images widely used by poets, the sounds are indeed more powerful than usual in such a situation, you described very well this state of mind.

[Kerri Hart]

an amazing piece

my fave byy far

i like how you describe how she isnt only SEEING him leave but also how she is hearing him leave her

[amanda]

thx

[Kerri Hart]

haha no prob

[Rick Puetter]

Hi amanda,

This is a nice, concise effort. You describe an emotion-packed situation. Nice work.

Best regards,

Rick

[amanda]

thx guys :) it means a lot

[T. Logan]

This is so sad! Very emotional. I like the line of not needing light to hear.

[Cosmic kid]

this is very emotional, i love the way you are playing around with the senses and the kick at the end.