My Remedy

Written on 6-5-2013

When everything fell apart;
All my bridges collapsed,
All hope was lost
And I lay in the shadows.

I wanted more.
The world no longer mattered.
I needed an escape, a way out
For I no longer wanted to live.

The void in my heart was like a vacuum,
Sucking in every possible way of life.
I was ready to try anything...
Anything to feel again.

I just wanted to really live.
I could not go on living dead,
Feeling empty and tried.
I just wanted to survive.

Then it sucked me in like a bottomless pit,
No way to choose,
Simply convinced I could not last...
The crimson lines held my gaze.

Pain and blade were my desire,
Held me so tight, I couldn't break free.
I could never get enough blood
To substantiate my punishment.

I didn't deserve to live.
The voice grew louder to a scream,
The evil presence became the norm,
I could not run, I was lost in the storm.

As the battle raged
I didn't put up a fight.
Beaten and scarred I gave in,
Time and time again.

When I thought I'd hit the bottom
I sank even deeper
Into never-ending despair and loneliness.
I had nothing to hold on to.

A broken smile,
Tainted heart,
A Silent Goodbye;
I was Jaded.

Ready to let go of everything real,
Anything hopeful
Or could moderately feel;
I was undone.

At that moment I was lifted,
Higher than I knew possible.
My Savior had come down to get me,
To awaken and equip me.

I'd never experienced the supernatural
In that way, Overflowing.
My spirit breathed as one with His.
My God, I did not want to let go.

My flesh felt like enclosing porcelain
Surrounded my spirit.
Beneath my glassy skin,
My soul burned with desire.

Everything in me trembled in awe,
Uncontrollable chasing and touch.
Listening to the spirit interceding
Was like music to my ears.

My Lion, magnificent
Perfection beyond comprehension.
Encountering the ungraspable
Was infinite paradise.

I know what it feels like to
Be able to never grow weary of praise.
I never wanted to let go,
But I knew I had a mission.

Before I was broken, needing to be fixed.
I was undone, but not without remedy.
My Father came to my rescue,
And now I must proclaim His glorious name.

Hallelujah, I love You Jesus.

Reviews

[Josh Dollar]

Really good poem. It speaks a powerful message. "Hallelujah, I love You Jesus." is the perfect ending. Well done, Mandi!