I FORGET

"One sadness of growing older is the loss of precious moments in the fding of memory. or is it?"

 

Trying to remember

Days so long ago

MAN what a dream

Finally fulfilled …

 

Can hardly remember now,

But it seems, I think

It was no big deal

Still called ‘boy,’ no big deal.

 

I forget… was blackness so beautiful

Or was it just darker than blue?

Or like Spike Lee �" just mo’ betta blues?

Or just -- like Miles, ‘All Blues?’

 

You see, I forget sometimes

Where I put my money, or

What day my daughter called.

Some times or things I just forget.

 

My own mother… can’t see her face.

Can taste her pound cake

She made from scratch

But her smile eludes me … I forget.

 

And my first lover �" what was her name?

What sly and slick and wicked trick

Did I use to bed her down?

Can’t remember; maybe it’s best.

 

Got halfway to work today

And I remembered, yes, did …

My office keys on the kitchen table.

You see, sometimes I forget.

 

I stood at attention with everyone else

To recite that pledge… you know the one

But I couldn’t remember … the part about ME.

Was there ever one? I don’t know … I forget.

 

And those M&M boys �" Mantle and Maris?

Or was it Mays and McCovey, hmmm…

No, that’s right … MARTIN and MALCOLM …

And MUHAMMAD … I almost forgot ...and MUDDY!

 

If only I could remember things

What a story I could tell

Changing from colored to black to Barack

And back again if we all forget … it’ll be what we get.

 

But beyond this wish to know it all,

To keep all knowledge intact

Lies the wisdom of why we forget

when our back has been bent by the load.

 

When our legs are tiring of this journey

There is the weight of our lengthy past

Baggage is what they call it

And we drag it like our cross to bear.

 

Things like:

 

The times I took well beyond my share

The tears that flowed from my ‘just passing through.’

The love I left and when I just took the money

That crunching left hook as he was already falling.

That baby … who never made it here.

Being ever smarter and never wiser.

That woman who bore my name, not my heart.

Never being gentle ‘til the tyranny and fury

of youthful strength had subsided.

Bright and youthful Harlem Days and

Dark and dreary South Bronx nights.

Believing in NOTHING that could punish or save me.

Not remembering just what was the cause.

 

 

From the weight of all this I am saved

For if not for forgetting

I might feel guilt, I might feel shame

I might feel … I can’t think of the words

 

Oh,“Out of the night that covers me

I thank whatever God’s may be”

See? That much I remember … I think.

See, I could if I would, but, you know, I forget.

Reviews

[Ladysue]

This was a wonderful write. Poignant with a wonderful flow...

[Deeply Daisy]

This is truely lovely. Really connected with it.

[mope]

I love this piece. I just do.