narnia magic

hey this is a story i wrote i've changed the names a little so..lol anyway tell em what you think!

``You coming out today, Beth?'' my big sister Laurna asks me as she pulls on her scrufy pink converse.

``Why where are you going?'' I reply scanning the crowded kitchen for my clean teddy jumper.

``Ah wouldn't you like to know! You'll see when we get there. Come on I said we'd meet Todd and Luca at 10!'' she says as she reaches for the long,brass door handle. I grab the nearest shoes i own my size 1 Nike trainers,my teddy backpack,Snoopy and a packet of wine gums.

``Wait up! I've only got little legs!'' I cry as Laurna stampedes down the hill.

``Sorry!'' she says coming to a hault outside our friends Luca and Todd's house.

``Hi,guys!'' Luca says `` You ready?'' We soon arrive at the local play park where i pop a juicy red wine gum into my mouth. We march to the end of the field where i see a small gap in the hedge. ``Are we going in there?'' I ask staring at the hole with an unimpressed exasperation.

``Yep, you ready?'' Todd asks me with a huge grin on his face, he picks me up as if i weigh no more than a feather and drops me slowly onto the other side. I stand and watch as Todd, Laurna and Luca all make their way over the hedge. We must walk 10 or 15 minutes before Laurna says,``We're here''.I open my eyes wide, in front of me is...

 

``Wow!'' I gasp different feelings running through me,joy,excitement.`` Wow!'' I say again absolutely stunned. In front of me stands my very own five-year-old narnia.

``What do you think?'' Luca asks me smiling from ear to ear. I close my eyes and re-open them again as if it's all just a dream.`` It's amazing!'' I smile. Out of nowhere appears a bottle of lemonade and a packet of party rings.

``Anyone for a picnic?'' Todd laughs...    

 

 

Author's Note

this is about some really important people from my childhood so tell me what you think!

Reviews

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[Lauren Xena Campbell]

Lovely ending, really sweet, takes me back to when I was five. I found something very suspicious about the names of your characters though, Beth and Laurna, could this be our very own Bexi and Lauren? Anyway I really enjoyed this for a short story, ableling the reader to reminisce slightly. Well Done!

[Evil_Angel]

It's cute...I dont really think I get it yet lol. THeres a few little things....just like Luca says ...i think it should be Luca said. I like how descriptive it is though, I think you just need to write more about how lemonade or whatever pops out of nowhere. It has potential to be a great story good job. :)