The Man I Knew

Amazing how people change sometimes.

The man I knew was kind, never cruel.

He could make me laugh and smile 

And he was never rude.

This man was, in reality, a boy

But he was so much more to me

He was my world, he held my heart

And now it can never be.

The man I knew has changed.

Just an order could make him leave me

An order that became law

He was not to touch me,

Not to speak to me,

God, he couldn't even look at me.

Friends?

We used to be.

A shell is all that's left of me.

I refuse to smile from my soul

I refuse to laugh with my heart

Abandon me if you will,

It's happened before.

This isn't some depression

Or a crazy obsession,

It's me being me.

Take it,

Leave it,

Abuse it,

Listen to it,

Do whatever you wish.

I am not in denial

I am speaking my mind.

The man I knew is now a boy

turned back by an order

By higher power than I.

What will happen, I wonder in his future

Will this person controlling him do so all his life?

Will he ever be the man I knew again?

Kind, sweet, caring, loving.

A dream. Everything I'd ever wanted.

The man I knew is still here

but to him, 

I've disappeared.

What shall I do, then?

I will guard him with my life

I owe him that much

No one touches him

No one hurts him

No one threatens him.

"I will not leave his side until he orders me away."

He has, but when have I ever listened?

I will always be here for him if he needs me

No matter what.

Author's Note

Not too harsh, if you please. I am in an extremely fragile state and I wrote this in a lot of emotional pain. I do appreciate the growth however. Thank you for reading my works. I pour my heart out to all of you.

Reviews

[L. Catherine]

Alisha, I truly feel what I can only imagine is just the beginning of your pain. The poem is eloquently written, beginning in a somewhat light mood, but quickly darkens into a explanation of suffering and despair. Good work, but I'm terribly sorry for what you are enduring

[Leigh]

It is sad how people change or are changed by life, I liked myself the most when I was 17, free and easy, no worries. This is a piece which becomes does change in tone from start to end, you have expressed your feelings well in it.