Scared

*This is a true story*

This feeling is almost indescribable. It's like being scared, adrenaline coursing throughout my veins, my heart beating faster than normal and my mind going into overdrive. But there's also...a sort of numb feeling; it's like the world just slowed down. An iron fist has clenched my heart, making it feel like a block of ice. 

When I came home this afternoon, I'd done everything like always. I did all of my homework and the dishes remaining in the sink as my brother returned from the post office. Before I knew it, it was 3:00pm; that meant my brother would be leaving in an hour and 20 minutes, like always. I had just sat down in my mother's desk chair to watch my brother play his video game when the house phone rang.

"Hello?" I answered

"Hey, it's me. Keep your converse on because we'll be going by the house to pick you up. We've got to go to the ER because the primary physician doesn't understand why your father's having chest pains. Don't worry, they did an EKG and it came back normal, but he's running a low-grade fever and she just wants to rule everything out. So be ready, okay? And tell your brother for me, too. I'll be there shortly." My mother explained

"Um, okay. Bye." I said

"Bye" she answered, then hung up.

The world went into slow motion right then.

I told my brother, and he seemed confused, but that was all. I opened the door just as the van pulled up.

                                           *                                    *                              *

Friday was even worse. 

The hospital had to keep my father for observation tonight as well. Last night, when my father had gone into the ER, he was given compartment 4. My mother and I were allowed to be with him at 4:30.

 My eyes remained locked on my father's heart monitor.

I had also moved into my parents' room so my mother would have some sort of comfort. The nurses hadn't found my father a room until midnight. I came home Friday and my brother called in for a day out of work. The three of us went to the hospital, with me carrying my father's new set of clothes. We got to the hospital and I knew exactly where my father's room was. I let my brother walk with my mother way behind me as I had sped up my steps on the way to my dad's room. I turned the corner and saw him, standing outside of his room. He looked okay, but really tired, like me. He had only gotten three hours of sleep last night. I sat on his bed with him as my mother came in and sat down. After a while, a nice looking doctor came in. He wasn't in charge of my father, but he knew what was going on. He said that the CAT scan my father had done was fine, but in some of the extra pictures they had taken, there was a spot on his pancreas.

My heart stopped, then started up again much quicker than before.

The doctor went on, explaining that it wasn't cancerous. But, my father would have to go for testing at Roger Williams Hospital shortly. He said that the doctors would sedate him and go down his throat with a scope and needle attached, going to the pancreas and the spot, drawing out the fluid that was inside. So it was a biopsy; I could live with a biopsy. The doctor also said that the biopsy would determine if my father would need surgery or not. He said this would only happen if the fluids in the cyst had the potential to become cancerous. If not, it would be left alone and checked on yearly.

Before the official test, my father would have to go for a pre-test. This was because he had to be sedated. It would be longer than an annual physical, but it would focus on some of my father's vitals. They would have to check his breathing, his weight and keep an eye on his heart. 

My father came back that Friday from the hospital, happy to be home. This past week was February vacation. The week went by agonizingly slow for me, and I was sure it wasn't just because I hated vacations and weekends. I tried to keep myself busy the entire time so it would go by faster. During the week, my mother had managed to contact the doctor who would be doing the actual test at Roger Williams. The magic date is March 4th.

Reviews

[L. Catherine]

Very sad tale, but has a somewhat happy ending. Hope and prayers go out to you and your family! :)

[Alisha Heistand]

thank you it's much appreciated

[L. Catherine]

Welcome!