Dream Noir

A Story by Malik

The light faded, and it soothed my eyes shut.
"Where am I? " I whispered to myself. A single hanging light is in the middle of the room. I raised my hand in front of my eyes so they could adjust. My heart began to pound. The room was small, solid concrete, and the smell made me cover my nose. There was one entrance to the room, a black door sealed shut with brass chains. I tried getting up, but I noticed my leg was shackled to the wall behind me. The terror I felt for this room seemed ancient. I remember this room everyday, but it has never seemed so real and tangible.
A toll began, synchronizing with the shaking of the room, accompanied with a loud high pitched sound. Suddenly, I see a man standing in the spotlight. He's under the light, yet his body is like a standing shadow of space. The shaking of the room caused the light to sway, revealing the shadows eyes. They made my soul crumble. They are cold, a kind of stare that laid waste to life. My fear made time crawl and dragged a tear down my face.
"Who are you? " I said, stuttering frequently. He stared at me. "who are you? " I said louder with a hint of terror in my voice. "WHO ARE YOU? " I screamed, and then placed my hands on my temples from the pain. My lips had not moved, and I had been sitting there with my eyes wide open, trapped in a trance by his stare.
"What have you done?" the man finally spoke. The millennial seconds of waiting in agony to discover that this man was real had made my terror real. His voice was angry but mellow, raspy but clear as water. I remained silent.
"What have you done?" he said sternly. I began to shake. He was demanding an answer I had not possessed, for I don't even know my own name. After a momentary silence, he turned around, released the locks, walked out, then shut the door behind him. At this point, my heart plummeted. I scavenged the room for a way out, but there was nothing.
The door swung open ferociously followed by loud cries and screaming. The man dragged a naked woman kicking and screaming by her brown hair.
"What have you done?" The man asked. I sobbed, sighed, and shook my head. He left again. When I saw her face, I felt as if I knew her. I could only remember her name with a couple of blurred memories.
“Anessa?” I said, unsure if it was even her.
"What have you done?" Anessa asked.
"Why are you saying that? Why is he saying that? Where am I?"
"How could you do that to me?"
"Why am I here?"
"I loved you. I gave you all of me. Sure, you were nice at times, but when the time came you threw me away like a piece of old furniture. I wish I had known the difference between a loving face and a mask. You're a monster behind yours.” She threw a paper mache crown at me with plenty of pictures of us attached…

The night was coming to a close. I layed there with her all night. Anessa said something and I would simply interrupt it with a sweet tune expressing some kind of affection. She responded in annoyance, but I knew she really loved it. Serenity: the presence of her loving family in the house, the warmth of a fire, and my sweet voice singing into her ear. Her mother never enjoyed me hanging around too late, their family was very traditional. So, after my performance, she escorted me to the door, I kissed her goodbye, and left. Moments later I returned, much to her mother's dismay; however, everything negative subsided when I presented her with flowers and a homemade crown with many pictures of us through time posted all over. Whenever I think about this, I feel like a wolf in sheep's clothing.

"Oh my god. How could I forget you? You have to understand, I did it for me."
"And you have to understand that you always do it for you. You do everything for you. "
"I'm sorry. I really am." The door swung open again and he stormed in and grabbed Anessa by the hair.
"What have you done?!"
"I don't know, I don't know, I don't know what you want me to say just don't hurt her." He began choking her, ignoring my frantic request.
"Okay I'm sorry! I'm sorry! I'll say it!" he vanished, "I don't think I ever really loved you. You're right, I do everything for myself. Instead of being alone I chose you. I hadn't really liked you, but I had been so terrified of being alone that I did it. Even then, I had decided that the least I can do is be a gentleman, but that didn't last long. I knew exactly when I would end this. No, I was not thinking of your feelings or how everyone would look at me. I feel terrible." I cried like a pack of children confessing their sins.
"Is that what you wanted to hear?"
She said, "I'll never forgive you, and neither will he."
“I have done everything I can in my power to make up for it. It haunts me, I'm so sorry. I was just a child terrified of being alone.” She just stared at me. He opened the door and walked in.
"Funny isn't it? That your love crown would only end up in your crucifixion."
"Do you find this amusing?"
"I find no pleasure in this, I find only justice. An eye for an eye, your debt must be paid in full."
"What more do you want from me?" He laughed as he left the room. I sat there for hours as she just stared at me with tears flowing from her eyes and stale face, and the sight of that made me cry even more. Later, he returned with a blonde woman; However, she walked in willingly. The way she walked in and looks at me is something only unique to one person.
"What have you done?" he said.
"I can't believe it." The man left.

I remember the first time I saw her. I was young and we were graduating middle school. Apparently, she had went to the same school as I for all of my life, and I had never seen her. But, when she stepped through that classroom door, I was captivated. It's as if Moses himself had parted all others from sight, and God cast a light down upon her. She was glowing. I could have sworn her blonde, shiny hair was flowing in the wind, yet we were inside. The way she walked in abolished all rationality.
Some nights, Lindi would stumble her way to my back door in search of me. Eventually, this became a regular occurrence. Her friends, only a couple blocks away, would panic and call everyone in the area wondering where she went, but after a while they always knew where to find her: with me. But I was okay with taking care of her, listening to her problems, and drawing cities on her skin with the tips of my fingers. It was blissful, but it never manifested into anything more.

"Why not?"
"It has been so lonh since I've seen you, Lindi."
"Yeah, too busy partying? "
"I'm over that now. I've changed.”
“What, is that supposed to change something? Change you?
"I don't know, but from what I feel just by looking at you, there's no way I could have done anything but love you,” I said as sincerely as I could, but her face neglected my words. She told me about the romantic long since demolished. The constant, clear reassurance of affection welcomed with a supernaturally, insatiable libido. Yet, the more she talked the more I remembered about her. I wanted her to shut up and leave.
“Shut the f**k up, Lindi.”
“You shut the f**k up!”
“You blame everything that's wrong with you on me and I'm F*****g tired of it. I did some s**t you could never let go of, but I always turned the other cheek with you.”
“It's hard to turn the other cheek when I hear that you get a girlfriend who you ‘love.’ I wanted that for so long. I should have realized what you were when we never left the bed.”
“Lindi, what we had was real. You and I both know what happened in there was real.”
“It was only real for you.” She began crying. I could see the pain in her eyes for the first time. They hit me like shrapnel. Like a broken, sobbing record, she started to scream that she hated me. So I just listened to her, and tried to think of what I had done.
"I'm tired of hearing your apologies and so is everyone else. You are a weak, scared little boy. You ruined everything. I hope every woman avoids you, and every woman that's foolish enough will die instead of falling into your hands." Lindi expressed mercilessly.
The man returned. "Do you know what you have done?" I remained silent. "Do you know what this room is? This is the home that I have built for you. A home for a monster that stomps on the hearts of others. Love is not for you and never will be for you. You had your chance and you showed the world what you did with it."
I cried uncontrollably. I looked up at him with drowning eyes and asked, "why?" he walked to me. He got closer and closer. The closer he got, the clearer his face became. He leaned down towards me, so I could see his face clearly.
"Because you deserve it, and I will make sure this will stay your purgatory." I stared in shock because I could not believe what I was seeing: he had my face.
The door sprang open again, bursting through with righteousness and light that blew all darkness and the shadow away to only where I could see. It was a beautiful woman that I have never seen before, yet she looked so familiar. She appeared to be an angel who wore many masks. She eclipsed my darker half and descended upon me. Her shadow was cast over my body as the rays of the light traced her outline. She reached out for me. I flinched and felt reluctant, but the way she looked at me filled me with warmth.
“I am here.” Her hand was heavy and hard, and when it struck me it shattered my understanding. With her hand resting gently on my face, she began to sing as she wiped my eyes. Her song was strong, soft, and beautiful. I looked up at her and her eyes pierced deeper into me, her eyes were so clear. After I could grasp her presence, I asked her who she is. She smiled as if my question amused her.
“You must save yourself.” Her voice echoed through the room, I could feel it crawl through my skin. I asked her how, but like a mother, her face scorned me.
“What have I done?” I whispered softly to myself, “I know. I need to stop feeling guilty, and blaming myself for everything that has gone wrong. I have to forgive myself if I'm going to get another chance, or at least get a chance to prove my worth again, I know now.” A feeling of being free fell softly upon me. I became naked.
“You may call me Erela, and I am here to tell you that everything is okay. However, that will be up to them. The past is set.”
“Is there anything I can do?”
“You must answer that yourself, Amal.”

The light pried my eyes open to better days.