Slow Acceptance

{sigh}

So I felt okay today.

I woke up from a dream that didn't mar my mind.

I showered, I ate and I went to grab a drink.

I sank a few down- sink, sink, sink.

New lover and I were texting a ball,

He asked me to meet him at my old place on St More,

I showered, felt fresh,

Couldn't wait to feel something real and intense.

We kissed, no hugs,

We laughed, we talked,

We touched, we moved,

We breathed, we gloat.

In the midst of something so natural and temporarily true,

A song played in the background,

One guess... It reminded me of you.

And I'm telling you now if it wasn't for the dark,

He would have caught my tears dropping on his so perfectly tactile heart.

Thank God for the sweat that we produced,

It all felt the same, but how can I be fair- when it was you I so desperately wanted to be laying there.

Jesus Christ...

You're never going to read these but I feel like you do,

I think if you did you'd change your mind from happy to blue.

But I still could never own you.

I'm off your contact list- as far as the social media eye can see...

But they're telling me you're packing up, selling your old stuff- you're leaving,

You knew exactly how my feelings developed for you,

Isn't it funny that when this began I never wanted a bar of you?

So how about you tell me, why you let this go on.

I damn well know it was the alcohol that drew you to me,

Every Friday night and Saturday morning long.

Yeah, come on,

It's time to get over this.

Yeah honey.... real easy to say as I'm not the one who is going to be missed.

Before I died , I'd write you a letter.

You can't have the right to kiss, touch, talk, hug, look at me the way you did.

And before she came back... you actually said 'if I could, it's you I'd be with'.

That's certainly not enough and it's certainly not true.

Because the fact of life truly remains,

If you want to be with someone- nothing will stop you- even hard, pouring rain.

You liked the idea of what I made you feel,

But what I want from you.... from your perspective- is too daunting and real.

Reviews

[Saddam]

We kissed, no hugs,
We laughed, we talked,
We touched, we moved,
We breathed, we gloat.

First love expressions,
This is amazing and beautiful.
Love it.