To Be Depressed

To be depressed is serious.

To be depressed is to either feel a lot, or feel nothing at all.

I've thrown my pills out the door, so I can feel things more properly for the first time ever.

It's been now 7 years since I have been on this medication......

These pills make me feel: happy, stable, forgiving, wanting more, loving, caring. 

All these emotions are bought for a meer $20 a month and are injected into my blood stream with a pop of a pill.

I want to feel what my mind really feels.

Hate, anger, disappointment, worthlessness, angst, emotional pain- THE TRUTH.

I don't want a so called 'pink-ribbon' over my eyes.

I don't want my mind and emotions to 'sugar-coat' how I am really meant to feel.

I don't want help, I want to express through tears, music and sleep.

I don't want to be there for anybody anymore because I always am.

I want to dwell, and analyse my thoughts ... especially the choices in my life which affect me more and more each day.

I want to see the world for how it is and not for what my mind gets paid to feel.

It starts today.

My head is sore, my neck feels broke, my eyes are heavy, my limbs lethargic, my mood irritable, my phone on silent, my jealousy prevalent. 

Reviews

[W R Stowe]

Why would anyone want all those negetive emotions?I agree to be in control of your own emotions but sometimes we do actually need help from professionals.Good doctors use meds as a last resort to bad there are alot of bad ones out there to.Hang in and trust God

[mala]

It's better to feel those emotions then go through life being too positive because of something synthetic like medication which builds you up and you fall harder when things go to s***s.

[W R Stowe]

True enough but within our soul we can find comfort and happiness if only for the fleating moment.Trust in God and find out God bless just be still and allow yourself to drift into the abyss of your mind and find that tranquil island of memories gone by------Bill

[Beth Shade]

Beautiful. I've been here. I feel better without medication as well. The lie is over, your time is now, breathe, smile, cry, frown, be you as you truly are. Not a lie in a bottle, not a labeled medication. This is wonderful, and as you said: It starts today.

[CA Anurag Sharma]

Emotions are best when expressed through poetry..it gives so much relief and comfort to the mind.... nice piece this one....liked the line "I want to see the world for how it is and not for what my mind gets paid to feel"....

[mala]

Thank-you Anurag......... I appreciate this.