Magnificence and Rats

This is a bisexual story, highlighting the unique dilemmas that this small, forgotten slice of the population experiences.

Chris sat on her front stoop watching the moving van pull up first. Her apartment was on the short end of a one-story L-shaped building. The moving van and SUV that pulled up behind it was angled at the apartment on the other end of the L.

“Daddy, can I swing?” cried a little girl. The L of the apartments wrapped around a tiny playground with a set of two swings and a slide. Obviously the owners had intended to entice families.

The little girl was maybe ten, with long, shining black hair tied back by a white scarf with black polka dots. She also wore a black jumper and black and white striped stockings.

Interesting, Chris thought of the girl's attire as she sipped her coffee.

The child was quickly followed out of the SUV by a man in his late twenties (maybe early thirties, but Chris thought that was pushing it). His hair was also black, but streaked on the sides with electric blue. His warm smile was accentuated by a nicely trimmed black goatee.

Very interesting, Chris thought.

“Not now, honey!” the man answered his daughter. “Why don't you help carry the little boxes into your room?”

She skipped over to the SUV. “Okay!”

Kaylynn, the rather nasty young woman who had moved into the apartment sandwiched between the ends of the L after Chris' best friend Kim had vacated it with her husband and three children, slunk out of her door and squatted on the stoop next to Chris. Her long strawberry hair looked fried as usual, and her lipstick too bright a shade of red-pink.

“What's going on?” she asked Chris, as if it were some kind of secret.

Resisting the urge to smack her up-side the head with a folded newspaper, Chris sipped her coffee slowly before answering: “Someone's moving in.”

“To the Simm's old place?”

Well, let's see, Chris wanted to say. There are three apartments, And you and I occupy two of them. And what's three minus two? Aloud, she deigned to answer, “Uh-huh.”

Kaylynn frowned. “They look weird!”

Cupping her warm mug between her fingers, Chris smiled. “Uh-huh.”

The two sat in silence for a while watching their new neighbors move in. The man seemed preoccupied with preventing his daughter running off while simultaneously keeping her entertained, not an easy task, Chris observed as she finished off her liquid breakfast. Kaylynn made a few more disparaging remarks about the weirdos next door before eventually going inside. Suddenly alone and without coffee to occupy her hands, Chris felt vulnerable. Should she go over and offer her assistance? Would it be weird if she, too, darted inside?

As she was about to ease herself to her feet and make her exit, the man looked over at her and smiled. The little girl had dashed up the slide just as her father was trying to persuade her to carry in another box. His expression said, “Kids, you know?” And Chris smiled and shook her head as if to answer, “I know, right?” Then her phone rang, and she had a legitimate reason to make an exit.

“Hello?”

“Hey, baby! It's me.”

It took the minutest of seconds for Chris to place the cooing voice on the other end as belonging to her girlfriend (well, fiancee, technically, but that was becoming more like a joke these days, despite the matching silver rings they both wore), Brittany.

“Hey, Britt, what's up? You on your way over?”

“Naw, I got hung up. I'm sorry, I just woke up. Do you think we can hang out later?”

Chris closed her eyes a moment. “Sure, I guess.”

“Well, you've got today off, right?”

“Yeah.”

“So it's no problem! Look, I got to go. I'll talk to you later, though. Love ya!”

She hung up before Chris could answer, which was fine with her. She figured her chances of actually seeing Brittany that day were slightly less than fifty/fifty. She was five years younger than Chris and still in college. The quintessential party girl, Brittany had no sense of time. It was probably a miracle she ever made it to her classes. When she was still in college, Chris had found that amusing, even exciting, but now that she lived closer to her job than campus, Brittany's whatever attitude was increasingly frustrating.

Chris peeked out the front window through the blinds. The new neighbor was still moving, but his daughter was now playing on the swing set; Chris could hear her squeals and giggles from inside. Since Brittany wasn't coming over (yet), Chris refilled her coffee mug and decided to channel surf until her mind was feeling more alert.

Another half hour past and she decided to make another pot of coffee. Pausing halfway through measuring out the grounds, she wondered if the new neighbor would want some coffee, too. That would be the neighborly thing to do, right? And she was bored; nothing of interest was on TV. Plus the new neighbor was cute. Within fifteen minutes, she was back outside with two steaming mugs. The man with the blue streaks in his hair looked up from watching his daughter swing and grinned at her.

“Hey,” Chris said, lifting the two mugs. “Want some coffee?”

“I would love some.” He set down the box he'd had in his arms, and accepted the proffered mug with a grateful nod.

“My name's Chris. I live, um.” She jabbed a thumb at her apartment. “There.”

“I see. I'm Edmond. I live...” He pointed to the open door of his new place. “There.”

“Edmond? With an O?” asked Chris.

He nodded. From the swing set, the little girl chimed in, “And I'm Brighid with a D!”

Chris joined Edmond in chuckling. “I guess people must get both your names mixed up a lot, huh,” she said.

“Ah, yes.”

“I will do my best to get them right, then.” She noticed Edmond peering over her shoulder. “What is it?”

“Who is that other woman? I believe she was sitting with you earlier?”

Chris looked to where he indicated. Kaylynn was spying on them through her blinds. “Oh. That's Kaylynn.”

“I'm guessing from your tone that you don't like her very much.”

“You guess right! My best friend lived in that apartment with her husband and kids until a couple of months ago, but I like to believe that my distaste for Kaylynn goes beyond something so petty. You let me know when you meet her. If you meet her.”

Edmond's brows drew together. “What do you mean if?”

“Weeeeell...” Chris sucked in her cheeks. “The dear, sweet girl has intimated to me that she thinks you're a mite weird.”

Edmond looked amused. “Oh, really?”

“Really. Which is hilarious to me because the couple that lived there before were self-avowed dark witches.”

His eyebrows raised. “Really.”

Chris shrugged her shoulders. “They were always nice to me. Their little boy was so polite and their daughter was as cute as could be! But Nero, the guy " don't know if that was his real name " was a physician, and on his days off wore his hair in a mohawk.”

Edmond cracked a smile. “You're kidding.”

“I'm dead serious. They weren't actually married " they were engaged " and on separate occasions both Nero and Sarah hit on me.”

It was clear from Edmond's expression that he was finding all this difficult to believe.

Chris shrugged. “Hey, all I'm saying is that next to that family, you and your daughter seem like the Cleavers.”

Edmond ran a hand through his hair. “Streaks and all?”

“Haha, yeah. Streaks and all.”

“What about you?”

The question surprised Chris. “What about me?”

“You're wearing a black corset with blue lacing and Doc Martens.”

“So?”

“Kaylynn doesn't find that strange?”

“Hm, good point.” Chris took a sip of her coffee. “I guess I'm normal by comparison?”

“Well, we'll see.” Edmond cracked another smile. “Though if I do say so myself, I can see why you got hit on by your neighbors.”

Chris was saved from making a reply by Brighid's demand that her father push her on the swing.

“Not now, honey, I need to finish moving in boxes.”

“But you had time to talk to that lady!”

“I'm making friends with the neighbor.”

“Ohhh, is that what you call it.”

Edmond's cheeks turned just a little pink as he turned back to Chris. “And on that note.... Thanks for the coffee. Mind if I return the mug in a little bit?”

“Go right ahead! Um, do you need some help moving boxes since you lost your helper?”

“I'd hate to intrude...”

“I think I already intruded by bringing you coffee. I'm happy to help, really.”

What Chris was really happy doing was staring at Edmond's tight butt in his faded, ripped up jeans as she followed him with an armful of boxes into the apartment, half-full coffee mug gripped tightly by two fingers.

It was strange to see the living room full of other people's things. Between Sarah and Nero, she'd been invited in so many times for coffee, or to watch movies or the kids while one of them ran out. Kim would sometimes bring her kids over, too, and all the adults would play games while the children played in the other room. Rarely did Brittany join in on these parties. She thought it was too boring and didn't understand why there was only wine to drink. Even without her there, it was difficult for Chris to feel too much like a fifth wheel given the attentions of both Nero and his fiancee. Kim and her husband Ronan were always good about making her feel a part of the group, too.

“Does it look much like your place?” Edmond asked as he set a box down on the living room floor. It must have been heavy. He wiped his brow and remained squatting on the floor.

Chris shrugged as she set her two smaller boxes on the couch. “A little. I think it's bigger.”

“Have all the Satanic symbols been painted over?”

“What!?”

“You did say they were evil witches, right?”

“Dark witches, and there were never any Satanic symbols.” Since Edmond didn't seem about to move again, Chris flopped down on the couch. “I never saw anything particularly witchy about them besides a few books, and Sarah would talk about putting hexes on people she didn't like.”

Edmond lifted his arms in a shrug. “Who doesn't do hexes?”

“I can certainly think of a few people I'd hex.” Her eyes flicked to the wall shared with Kaylynn.

Edmond chuckled. “So why did everyone move out and leave you?”

“Same reason on both counts: wanted to buy a house that the kids could grow up in. They didn't leave all at once, though.”

“So you're the only single gal?” Edmond tilted his head to the side when she obviously hesitated to answer. “What? Don't tell me you have a boyfriend.”

She bit her lip. “No, I don't have a boyfriend.”

Edmond looked curious, but shook his head. “I don't mean to pry. Hey, I should probably pay the movers. I think that was the last off the truck.”

“Shall I wait here, then?” asked Chris, giving him a cocky grin for no reason she could properly explain to herself.

Edmond returned the grin with one of his own. Charming, thought Chris. “If you like,” he said. “I'll be back in a minute.”

While she waited, Chris amused herself by poking through the boxes she had brought in between sips of coffee. There were a number of philosophy books, possibly old textbooks from college. (She had a few of those, herself, still.) There were also two on single parenting, which made Chris feel a little weird. She wondered how old Edmond was, and what happened to Brighid's mother.

When Edmond returned, he sat on a club chair that was more or less perpendicular to Chris' couch. “So,” he began. “Age? Sex? Location?”

Chris laughed. “I'm twenty-eight, female, and I live two doors down. You?”

Edmond nodded very seriously. “Twenty-nine, male, and right here!”

“Okay, I suppose the next logical question is what do you do for a living?”

“I'm a freelance writer.”

Chris was impressed. “No kidding?”

“No kidding. I wanted something that would allow me the freedom to stay home with Brighid. How about you?”

She made a sour face. “Nothing nearly so impressive. I work for an architectural firm.”

“Are you an architect?”

“Just an intern.”

“No one is ever a 'just' anything. So you're an intern. I bet you still have a lot of responsibilities.”

“Yeah, that's true, I guess.”

Chris half-smiled. She was really starting to like this guy. It would be nice to have a child around again, too, so the playground equipment got more use. It was almost a shame that both The Simms-Bui and Grays had moved out. Brighid would have had neighboring playmates. Kim still visited, though. Maybe she could bring her twin boys with her. Brighid looked about their age.

Edmond had his mouth open to say something else when Chris' cell phone rang. She smiled apologetically.

“Sorry. I was expecting a call.”

He shook his head. “Go right ahead.”

Chris half turned away as she clicked the green button on her phone. “Hey, what's up?”

“Hey! I'm in the car with Drew and we're almost there.”

“You're almost here?” Chris rose to her feet.

“Yeah, that's why I called. Hey, you don't have any food, do you? We're starving.”

So I have to feed you and your friend? Chris wanted to say, but held her tongue, using Edmond's presence as an excuse. She could hear Drew chattering in the background, but couldn't make out what she was saying.

“Sure,” Chris finally said out loud. “I'll see what I can come up with.”

“Thanks! See you soon!” Brittany made a kissing noise before hanging up.

Chris sighed and slid her phone into her back pocket.

“Wow,” said Edmond. “You sound stoked.”

She gave him a tired smile. “Friends coming over. Guess I should be going.”

“Sure, no problem.” He jumped to his feet and held out his hand. “It was a pleasure to meet you, Chris. And thanks for the help!”

“Any time.” She was delighted that his handshake was firm, but not too squeezy that it crushed her hand.

Chris passed Brighid on the way out as the little girl rushed inside, squealing, “Can I put my room together?”

Edmond gave Chris another of those “kids” looks, and she smiled as she closed the door behind her.

Drew and Brittany arrived just as Chris was dumping a bag of pizza rolls onto a cooking sheet to pop in the oven. She hadn't locked the front door, and Brittany thought nothing of walking right in without knocking, which had never bothered Chris until lately.

“Hey, baby!” Brittany greeted Chris with a kiss and a hug, then threw her large purse onto the couch and turned on the radio.

Drew, an athletic blond with short hair, jerked her chin in Chris' direction. “S'up?”

“Not much,” Chris answered. “How are you?”

Drew shrugged. “Good, I guess.”

Brittany emerged from the bathroom where she'd gone to check on her mass of red curls and reapply her pink lip gloss. “So what's for lunch?”

“Pizza rolls. It's all I had that was quick.”

“Sounds yummy!”

Chris didn't know how long the pizza rolls had been in the freezer. They were probably left over from the last movie night she and Britany'd had, which was months ago.

While they munched from a communal bowl at the small dining table just off the kitchen, Brittany and Drew mostly talked about school. Brittany was polite enough to ask how Chris' job was going, but somehow found a way to relate it to her own design classes at every comment. Design was her latest interest. Before that, it had been writing, which she had no talent in, and preceding that had been philosophy, which she'd found dull. Chris had graduated with a masters in architectural design, but rather than be flattered that Brittany had taken up the interest herself, she was just annoyed, knowing it was only a passing fad for her.

“Hey,” said Drew, snagging the last pizza roll. “Do you got a new neighbor or something? I thought I saw someone moving around in the witches' old apartment.”

Chris raised her brows, surprised it was Drew who brought it up. She hadn't been intending to herself, but couldn't explain to herself why.

“Yeah, this guy moved in today with his daughter.”

“Older guy?” asked Brittany.

“No, he's a year older than me.” She shrugged. “The daughter looks to be around ten or so. She's really cute.”

“Aww,” sighed Brittany. “A single dad. That's kind of unusual.”

“We live in progressive times,” Drew answered.. “Well, not too progressive...”

“We'll get there someday!” Brittany smiled brightly as she took Chris left hand and played with the ring there.

Chris allowed it for a moment, then with a squeeze of Brittany's hand, rose from the table and took the empty bowl to the sink to be rinsed.

“So what are the plans for today?” she asked.

Brittany shrugged. “Hang out for a little while. Drew's got this family thing happening later that I promised I'd be moral support for.”

“My sister's introducing her new boyfriend to the family,” Drew elaborated.

Chris nodded. That would be an uncomfortable situation if the family wasn't supportive of Drew being a lesbian, and Chris had gleaned over the past few weeks hat they weren't. Drew was a new friend of Brittany's and had something that Brittany did not: a car.

“Are you going to stop by after?” Chris asked. “Or are you heading home?”

“Depends how late it goes,” Brittany replied with a shrug. “Hey, what are you doing tomorrow night?”

“Nothing, why?”

“I was thinking we could go see a movie or something. There's this new bistro that opened, too. We should check it out.”

Chris guessed the bistro was expensive and Brittany was hoping that she would be treated. That didn't really bother, Chris, though, since she made more money. It might be nice to get out and spend an evening alone with her, assuming she had intended it to be an exclusive date and Drew wouldn't be there. But this question in Chris' mind was answered by Drew's next comment:

“Let me know how it is. I have to study for an exam tomorrow.”

Chris inwardly breathed a sigh of relief as she rejoined the girls at the table. “For what class?”

“Physics.”

“I wonder if I should take physics,” said Brittany.

“No,” Drew and Chris answered in unison, and they all chuckled a little.

The two girls left after a little while, and Chris walked them out to the front porch. The sky was just beginning to darken.

“I'll call you about tomorrow.” Brittany put her hands on Chris' hips and drew her in for a kiss that lasted about two seconds. “I was thinking I could try to get here by six?”

“Sounds good. Looking forward to it.” Chris put her arms around Brittany and gave her an affectionate squeeze. “And good luck with your family,” she added to Drew.

Drew jerked her chin upwards in thanks. “I might need it. See you around.”

Chris waved goodbye from the steps as the girls drove away. When her eyes left the retreating car, she noticed for the first time that they'd had an audience. When he realized he'd been seen, Edmond gave a little wave and a smile, his eyes both amused and questioning.

“I'm not a lesbian,” Chris blurted, surprising herself.

“The thought never crossed my mind,” he answered, obviously lying. “I just wanted to return your coffee mug. I washed it out for you so it wouldn't get a dark stain.”

He stepped forward and Chris accepted the cup.

“I'm really not a lesbian,” she continued.

“Okay.”

“But she is my girlfriend. Or fiancee. Or something.”

“I did notice the ring earlier, but you said you didn't have a boyfriend. I thought maybe you meant you had an estranged husband, but I didn't want to be nosy.”

“So you were fishing earlier?” asked Chris, brows arched.

Edmond lowered his head, smiling a bit. “Only a little. So what do you mean that girl's your 'or something'?”

Chris sighed and sagged against the porch. “We got engaged in college. Sort of caught up in the moment what with all the political stuff going on.”

“But now you're not so sure?”

“I don't know. Britt's still in college, and she's changed her major so many times that I don't think she'll ever get out.”

“Is she younger than you?”

“Is it that obvious?”

“You just seem more established is all.”

“That's a very nice way of putting it.”

Edmond chuckled and rocked back on his heels. “So if you aren't a lesbian, are you bi?”

“Yeah,” she reluctantly answered. Being bisexual wasn't something Chris was ashamed of, but she was all too aware of the stereotypes associated with that designation. S**t, sex maniac, cheater, swinger, poser. She'd heard them all, none with any prompting or reason. She had dated boys and girls throughout high school and college and was completely faithful to every one of them. She had also remained a virgin until she was twenty and a junior in college.

“That's cool,” Edmond answered with a shrug. “Well, I should probably get in. I told Brighid we'd make pizza for our first night in the new place.”

Chris smiled. “That's sweet. I'll see you later then.”

“Definitely. I mean, I'll be right over there.” He pointed to his apartment.

“And I'll be right here.” Chris pointed to her own, then they bid each other a final good night and she went inside.

The next night found Chris sitting with Brittany on the couch in front of the TV after dinner. Brittany had her bare feet up on the coffee table and was painting her toenails f**k-me red.

“I don't know about that bistro,” Brittany was saying while Chris tried to catch the evening news. “My pasta was totally undercooked.”

“You could have sent it back.”

“But I feel bad doing that! I mean, who knows what they do to your food when you do that?”

“Fix it?”

Brittany sighed and shook her head as if to say “You just don't get it.” Chris didn't feel like arguing. She'd enjoyed the atmosphere of the bistro " it was kitschy " but her chicken had been a bit bland.

“Well, Britt,” she finally said as a commercial came on. “Now we can say we tried it and never go back.”

“I never said I don't want to go back!”

Chris half-smiled. “But you just said you don't know about it.”

“Right. Which means I'll have to try it again before I decide, duh.”

“Right,” answered Chris after a beat.

Brittany finished painting her toenails, then made Chris get her a tissue and polish remover to wipe away the stray streaks. Nothing more was said until the news finished.

“Are you spending the night?” Chris asked.

Brittany shrugged. “I have class tomorrow.”

“And I have work. So is that a yes or a no?”

“You sure are in a mood today!” Brittany sniffed. “Maybe I should go.”

“Brittany...” Chris scooted over on the couch and put her arms around the freshly painted redhead. “I'm not kicking you out.”

Brittany gave her a look that said she was feeling put out. Chris kissed her on the cheek.

“If you want to stay, stay. But if you're worried about not getting to class and want to go back to campus, I understand.”

Brittany flicked her eyes away a moment. “I probably should go now. It isn't like you can give me a ride if I miss the bus.”

This was true so Chris tried not to take offense. Neither she nor Brittany owned cars and relied on public transportation and friends who did have their own vehicles. It was the bus that had delivered Brittany tonight and got them to the bistro. Brittany used her phone to check when the next bus was coming.

“Ten minutes,” she announced.

“Okay.”

Chris felt at a loss as to what to do in that short amount of time. They had talked at dinner, and she felt as though they'd exhausted all points of conversation. She and Brittany had been together for over three years. Was there really nothing to discuss any more?

Brittany blew on her toenails. When she was satisfied that they were dry, she slid on her sandals and grabbed her purse. “I guess I'll talk to you later. I've got a test on Tuesday.”

“Good luck.”

“Thanks.”

Chris walked her to the door and they kissed good night. When she was gone, Chris' mind lingered on that kiss as it often did these days. It hadn't been a peck, but it hadn't felt completely genuine either. They always kissed when they parted. Maybe it had just become routine. But a kiss was more than just pressing lips together, and whatever the other elements were, Chris couldn't help feeling they were no longer present.

On her way to the bus stop the next morning, she passed Edmond and Brighid as they were going out to play on the swings. Brighid ignored her, but Edmond waved, and Chris returned the gesture. They were both outside again when she arrived home nine hours later.

“I know the weather's great,” Chris greeted them, “but please tell me you haven't spent the entire day outside.”

Brighid scowled. “Daddy made me go inside and work on my room.”

“And now we're back outside as a reward,” Edmond supplied.

“Brighid, I thought you wanted to work on your room,” said Chris.

The little girl shrugged. “There are a lot of boxes. I can't go through them all in one day!”

Edmond added, “And we're still deciding where to put the bed. You look pretty snazzy in those clothes. Very professional.”

“Hah! Thanks. It's dressy casual. I wish I could get away with ripped jeans and a T-shirt like some people.”

Edmond shrugged. “We can't all be literary geniuses. Believe it or not, but I actually did some work myself today.”

“Aside from unpacking? Congratulations.”

He gave a short bow. “I sold an old article to a newspaper in Florida.”

“Come again?”

“I wrote this article a few years ago for some local color magazine. Since their rights have long since expired, I tweaked the article and sold it to another publication.”

Chris was impressed “You can do that?”

“Oh yes! It's a great way to make money without actually doing a lot of work.”

“Daddy's really lazy,” Brighid put in from the swing set.

Edmond let out a loud laugh. “Thanks, sweetie!”

“You're welcome.”

Chris grinned. “Your daughter has such wonderful manners.”

“Yes. Thanks.”

“You're welcome.”

“Okay, Brigh, time to go back inside!” he announced.

“Aww, do I have to?” the girl whined.

“I have to make dinner.”

“Can I stay out here while you make it?”

Edmond half-frowned.

“Pleeeaaase?” Brighid persisted.

“She must really like the swings,” Chris observed.

Edmond shrugged. “Our last apartment was five stories up and no playground.” To his daugher, he said, “Okay, but don't go anywhere, and come right in when I call!”

“I will!”

“I should probably start dinner myself,” Chris said. “It's been hours since I ate.”

Edmond nodded, seemed about to speak, then smiled. “I'll see you later. Have a good night.”

“You, too.”

Chris noticed Kaylynn watching them on her way into her apartment. If Edmond and his daughter were weird, Kaylynn was insane, she decided.

Brittany called on Wednesday to complain about how hard her test had been on Tuesday, and that was the sum total of the conversation. They made no plans to get together. After she'd hung up, Chris sat at the dining room table where she could look out see Brighid playing on the swings. She was smiling and having a good time, but Chris couldn't help thinking she looked a little lonely there all by herself. Public schools were on break for the rest of the week, so the little girl probably wouldn't meet any other children until then. Was this even a different school district for her? Chris realized she didn't know where they'd moved from.

The sky was clear and the evening warm despite the descending night. Chris went outside.

“Mind if I swing?” she asked Brighid.

“Go right ahead.”

The girl didn't seem unhappy to have company, so Chris tested the swing to make sure it would support her (not that she was exactly a heavyweight, but this was a child's playground).

“Do you start school next week?” asked Chris.

“Yup!”

“At a new school?”

“Yeah. The old one is too far away. Daddy doesn't want to drive me. He says it's bad for the environment to waste gas.”

“That is very true,” Chris answered while thinking, And yet he drives an SUV. Maybe it was a hybrid. She hadn't checked its back bumper. “Are you excited about school?”

Brighid shrugged. “I guess.”

“Don't you like school?”

“Not really. Did you?”

“Not really.”

“Daddy says it's a necessary evil.”

Chris laughed. “That it is. I was in school for a long time. I just graduated for the last time a year ago.”

Brighid's big brown eyes grew wide and she stopped pumping her legs as she looked over at Chris. “I don't have to be in school that long, do I?”

“Only if you want your master's.”

“What's a master's?”

“It's what you get when you go to graduate school. That's like a second level of college.”

“That's crazy. Why would anyone do that?”

Now Chris shrugged. “It got me a nice job.”

“Daddy never went to college, and he has a nice job.”

“Do you want to go to college?”

“I don't know. My mom went to college eventually, but not until I was like six.”

Here was a topic Chris had been wondering about. “Where is your mother?”

“San Diego.”

“Are your parents divorced?”

“No. They never got married.”

“Huh. And you've always lived with your dad?”

“Yeah. Mom lived with us when I was a baby, but I don't remember that. We have pictures, though.”

Chris and Brighid swung in tandem for a little while before Chris asked, “Say, how old are you, Brighid?”

“I'll be ten this fall.”

“Wow, your parents were young.” Chris hadn't intended to say this out loud, but the little girl didn't seem to mind. She probably heard it a lot.

“Daddy says I'm not allowed to date until I'm twenty-five.”

Chris laughed. “You know, my dad told me the same thing.”

“Did you listen?”

“Nope.”

Brighid grinned. “I like you. You talk to me like a normal person.”

“How else should I talk to you?”

“A lot of people talk to me like I'm a baby or something.”

“The people who used to live in your apartment have a son your age. And my friend who used to live in the middle apartment has two sons a year younger than you!”

“Two?”

“Yup. Twins.”

Brighid got excited. “Really? Do they look alike?”

“Almost. I don't think they're identical, but they're brothers, so they look a lot alike. I can ask my friend to bring them with her sometime when she visits.”

“That would be awesome! I've never met twins before. When I grow up, I want to have triplets.”

Chris smiled. “I think that's every girl's dream. They're a lot of work, though. I think you may change your mind someday.”

Brighid shrugged. There was a pause long enough to signify a change in topic. “You should come over for dinner sometime.”

“Is your dad a good cook?”

“He's the best!”

“Then maybe I will.”

“Daddy was going to ask you the other night, but then he didn't.”

Chris was intrigued. “Why didn't he?”

“I don't know.”

“How do you know he was going to ask me?”

“Because I asked him why he didn't.”

Chris laughed.

“He likes you, you know,” Brighid continued. “He thinks you're hot. I heard him on the phone with Uncle Phil.”

If she'd been held at gunpoint, Chris would not have been able to keep the smile spreading across her face. “I like him, too.”

“Do you think he's handsome?”

Judging by the look Brighid gave out of the corner of her eye, the little girl thought she was being sly, so Chris considered her response carefully.

“He's very good looking,” she finally settled on.

Brighid rolled her eyes, but didn't say anything. Then Edmond called from the window, “Brighid, it's getting dark, come inside! Dinner's almost ready.”

“Fiiine!”

Brighid took a big swing back and jumped off, bending at the knees as she landed, then held out her arms like an Olympic gymnast. Chris clapped and said “bravo.” Brighid waved before running inside and wished her a good night. Chris stayed a moment longer on the swings, slowing gradually. So Edmond thought she was hot, huh? A warmth fluttered through Chris' stomach that she hadn't felt in years. But before she could fully enjoy the moment, the ring on her left hand pinched her finger as she gripped the swing's thick chain. The feeling inside dropped like a rock and her shoulders drooped as she sighed.

That night in bed, Chris argued with herself. There was no denying that she was attracted to Edmond. Of course she'd found people attractive throughout her years with Brittany, but she was old enough to know that this was different than a passing flirtation. For one thing, he lived two doors down, and he'd signed a lease, so he wasn't about to disappear from her life any time soon. And he'd come at too opportune a time.

For the past three months, Chris had been growing increasingly dissatisfied with her relationship with Brittany. Maybe it was the age difference, or maybe it was finally being done with school, but they just seemed to be in two totally different places in life. Every crisis that Brittany ran to her with seemed so trivial now. Chris knew she'd get over them and forget most of them in a year, which frustrated Brittany who expected Chris to get upset and ruminate with her. Then there was the fact that Brittany wasn't ready to graduate from college. Chris suddenly saw all these changes in majors as a means to stay in school, which, having been graduated over a year, Chris saw as silly and a little pathetic. It seemed a harsh judgment, and she could have forgiven it in a friend, but was that the kind of behavior she wanted in a life partner? When was the last time they had even made love?

Chris twirled the ring on her finger, then slid it halfway off and back on, over and over. Were these problems that they could work out? Did she even want to work them out?

She knew what people would say if she left Brittany for Edmond, assuming he was even that interested in her. They'd say she'd been a poser all along and was only playing around at being gay. But she wasn't gay, never had been and never would be. But it didn't matter. As long as she dated a woman, she was part of the in-crowd. The moment she went to a man, she was a deceiver, a traitor. She'd seen it happen to other women, and she hated that it was so accepted.

There would also be people who would cheer. She'd finally seen the light and come back to the straight side where everyone belonged! She'd marry and have babies just like a good little woman. Everything would be normal and right with the world. Chris didn't know which was worse.

No matter who she was with, she felt like she was losing. It might be easier to join a nunnery and be done with relationships all together. Nothing would take away her attraction to both men and women. It was a part of who she was, so deeply ingrained that she couldn't imagine being any other way. She even had a hard time accepting that people were one side or the other, the concept was so foreign.

She remembered that when they'd first met, Brittany had made a big deal to the other lesbians in their peer group that she accepted Chris as bisexual. That had been Chris' ticket into the inner circle. If she left Brittany, she'd be officially leaving that group. But if she were going to be so harshly judged and easily cast off, were those women worth keeping as friends?

Perhaps Chris was getting ahead of herself. After all, she only had a ten year old's word that Edmond found her attractive. And maybe that's all it was. A harmless, meaningless attraction. No sense ruining a stable relationship over. But this led her back to wondering if her relationship with Brittany was really worth continuing; a vicious cycle that kept her awake for hours.

The next day at work, a groggy Chris texted her friend Kim for advice, explaining the situation as honestly and concisely as she could. The response was swift and to the point: Drop it like it's hot. Meet you at your apt after you get off.

When Chris arrived home, Edmond was outside again with his daughter. The way his head snapped up at her approach gave her the impression that he'd been waiting for her.

“Hey!” was his sunny greeting as he walked over to meet her.

She smiled. “Hi.”

“How was your day?”

“Great!” She had to force to cheer through her weariness. “Yours? Did you sell anything new today?”

“As a matter of fact I just finished a deal to edit a book of short stories.”

“Wow! That's... really interesting.”

“You're just saying that.”

Smiling, Chris shook her head. “You live in a totally different world than me. It's refreshing.”

“That's an interesting choice of words.” After a beat, he continued. “So anyway, it's a pretty good deal, and Brighid and I were planning to celebrate. What are you doing tonight?”

Chris' heart sank. “Actually, I have plans. I have a friend coming over.”

Edmond's eyes turned down. “Oh. I see.”

“No! Not that friend.” Chris laughed nervously. “It's actually my friend Kim. The one who used to live in crazy lady's apartment.”

“Oh!” Edmond looked relieved.

“Could we postpone until maybe tomorrow? I mean you two can celebrate, of course, I didn't mean...” She really didn't know what she meant. Edmond seemed to understand and nodded.

“Tomorrow will be great!” Brighid answered for her father as she jumped off the swing and came running over. “Is your friend going to bring her twins?”

Chris sagged with regret. “I'm sorry, hon, I forgot to ask her. But we can talk about it tonight. Maybe they can come over Saturday?”

“Cool,” the girl answered. Looking up at Edmond, she explained, “Daddy, her friend Kim has sons that are twins. And they're almost my age!”

He looked suitably impressed for Brighid's sake. “Wow, that is cool!”

“Hey, they don't live too far away,” Chris added. “And I think they go to your new school.”

Brighid beamed. “Awesome!”

Just then a white sedan pulled up in front of the apartments. A tall woman with auburn hair and a green dress got out. Chris waved her over.

“These are the new neighbors. This is Edmond and his daughter, Brighid.”

Kim shook hands with Edmond. “Nice to meet you, I'm Kim.”

“Nice to meet you,” Edmond answered with a smile and a nod.

“You should bring your twins next time you come over!” Brighid piped up.

Kim raised her eyebrows. “I'm sorry?”

Chris explained that she'd told Brighid about the boys and that she was anxious to meet them. Kim smiled and agreed that they could probably visit Saturday afternoon.

“Well, we should probably get in and leave you ladies alone,” said Edmond, putting his hand n Brighid's shoulder. “Come on, Brigh, let's make an easy dinner. We'll save the good stuff for tomorrow.”

“What time should I come over?” asked Chris, hating that her cheeks felt warm.

“Any time after you get home is fine. I'm not going anywhere,” he added with a wink.

She shook her head and retorted, “Homebody.”

“And how! Nice to meet you again, Kim. Ladies, have a good night.”

“Bye!” chimed Brighid and ran head of her father into the apartment.

When Kim and Chris were safely inside the latter's apartment, Kim burst out: “Oh my Lord, the man is gorgeous! Why are you not going over there right now? What did I interrupt?”

Chris told her about the dinner invitation and Kim grabbed her purse, announcing, “I'm leaving.”

“No!” Chris grabbed the purse and held her back. “I can't go over there now. What would I say?”

“I don't care. His butt is tighter than Ronan's when we first started dating.”

“Yeah, I noticed his butt, thanks.”

“So what the hell are you doing here with me and not over there with that hottie and his adorable daughter?”

Chris sighed and flopped down onto a dining chair, waving her left hand before letting it, too, fall to the table.

Kim set her purse back down and sat opposite Chris at the table. “I already told you what to do about that.”

“It's not that simple!”

“Honey, if you really wanted to marry that girl, you would have done so by now.”

“It isn't legal yet, remember?”

Kim waved a hand. “Details. You know what I mean. What do you even have in common with her anymore? She hasn't grown up a single day since you first started seeing her. She's what, twenty-three, and still acts like a fifteen year old? Please.”

“That isn't fair, you were married at her age.”

Kim arched her brows. “And what does that have to do with anything? You were graduating college at that age! Has she even had her senior audit?”

“She doesn't have enough credits,” Chris answered miserably.

“That's exactly what I'm talking about. She's never going to grow up. It would be one thing if she just couldn't get the classes she needed, but she's changed her degree three times.”

“Four.”

“You're really not helping your own cause.”

“What cause? I don't know what to do, that's why I texted you.”

Kim cocked her head. “And I'm telling you. Dump her. You aren't even arguing with me. If you cared, you'd tell me to take a hike.” When Chris didn't reply, Kim asked, “Are you afraid of being single?”

“It has been a while.” Chris sighed and sat back in the chair. “I think I'm getting vibes from Edmond, but I just don't know. Maybe I'm crazy.”

“So what if you are?”

“Then I would have broken up with Brittany for no reason!”

“Yes, you would. You are scared of being single! That's the only possible reason you have of hanging onto this girl. Answer me honestly, are you in love with her?”

Chris was quiet a long time and Kim waited patiently for her to respond.

“Not anymore,” she finally said. “I was. I still care about her " I care about her a lot! And I don't want to hurt her.”

“I think the only thing that's going to get wounded is her pride. She doesn't act like she's in love with you. I don't think she ever has. I think she just likes showing off her hot older girlfriend to her friends.”

Chris fixed her with a look. “At least you gave me hot.”

“You are hot! If I ever lose my husband and turn gay, you're all mine.”

Chris snickered through her nose and Kim grinned.

“Thanks,” Chris said. “I really do need to end it with her.”

Kim pointed her finger sternly at her friend. “And don't let her try to talk you out of it.”

“When?”

“The sooner the better.”

Chris shook her head. “God, I haven't broken up with someone in years.”

Kim took Chris' hand. “It's going to be hard, I know. But you have to do it. It isn't fair to stay in a relationship that's going nowhere; not fair to you or her. Who knows, maybe she'll be relieved.”

“Is anyone really relieved to be dumped?”

Kim shrugged. “It could happen.”

The skepticism showed on Chris' face.

“Let's watch movies and make fun of the skinny-b***h heroines,” Kim suggested. “I brought popcorn.”

Chris grinned. “I love you.”

“I know you do.”

That night Chris only slept better with the help of Tylenol PM. Brittany hadn't called since whining about her test, but with the weekend approaching, she was bound to show up at some point, probably with Drew or one of the other girls in tow.

As if the universe were conspiring against her, Chris returned home from work that Friday to find Brittany sitting on her front step eating a six ounce tub of ice cream.

“Hey, babe!” she greeted Chris with barely a glance as she scraped the bottom of the carton.

Chris forced a weak grin. “Hey. What's up?”

Brittany shrugged. “Just stopping by.”

“Did you want something?”

“No. Can't I stop by?” She sounded a little perturbed.

Chris unlocked the door and Brittany followed her inside the apartment. After putting down her bag, Chris sucked in a deep breath. The sooner the better, Kim had said. But this was so damn soon! Chris took a few moments to change into jeans and black camisole ad collect her thoughts.

Re-emerging from the bedroom, Chris announced: “Britt, we need to talk.”

“About what?”

Chris took her unconcerned tone as a bad sign. “Sit on the couch with me.”

Brittany joined her, perching on the edge and looking at her curiously. Chris stared down at her hands and just as Brittany opened her mouth to say something, Chris took off the silver ring on her left hand.

Whatever Brittany had been about say turned into, “What are you doing?”

“I can't do this anymore, Britt.”

“Do what? Wear a ring?” She sounded haughty.

“This isn't a game, Brittany. This is real life.”

Brittany glared at her. “What are you talking about?”

“When was the last time we had sex?”

“Now I'm beginning to think you're insane.”

“Can you remember? Because I can't,” Chris persisted.

Brittany crossed her arms defiantly. “What does that have to do with anything?”

“Everything!” Chris threw up her arms, exasperated. “We aren't a real couple anymore. We don't have sex, we barely hang out, and we haven't kissed for real since God knows when.”

“We kiss all the time!”

“No, we kiss each other goodbye, and I know for a fact that you do the same with all of your friends. So do I. It doesn't mean I'm in love with them.”

Brittany was very quiet for a moment. “Are you saying you don't love me anymore?”

“No. I'm saying I'm not in love with you anymore. I still care about you. I spent over three years of my life with you! But I can't marry you.”

“It's illegal anyway.”

Why did everyone need to point that out? “All right, then I can't commit myself to you.”

Chris put the ring on the coffee table, and they both stared at it like it was on fire.

“Have you met someone else?”

“That has nothing to do with this.”

“You have! What's her name? Is it someone from work?”

Chris shook her head. “It doesn't matter.”

“What's her name!” Brittany insisted. Then, in a flash on intuition: “Is it a man? Are you leaving me for a man!?” she shrieked and flew to her feet.

Chris also rose. “I'm not leaving you for anyone. I just can't go through the motions anymore. It isn't fair to either one of us.”

“Don't give me that crap!” she spat, throwing her own silver ring onto the coffee table. It bounced and fell onto the floor. “We were both happy until now.”

“Britt, that's what I'm trying to tell you " I haven't been happy!”

The two women stood with their fists clenched, staring each other down. This was exactly what Chris was afraid would happen. She'd never harbored any hope that they could remain friends after this. Brittany was too passionate a person. It was lucky their lives had drifted so far apart. They would be less likely to randomly run into each other on the street.

“I think you should go,” Chris finally said, her voice husky.

Brittany's nostrils flared. “I can't believe you. You traitorous w***e!”

Brittany grabbed her purse and kicked open the front door. Chris went to the porch to watch her storm across the playground.

“I bet you were lying that whole time!” Brittany screamed over her shoulder. “I hope you had fun playing around! You disgust me!”

It stung, it always stung, but Chris didn't answer. There was no point. Kaylynn's door opened. Chris didn't look at her neighbor and after a few seconds, she heard Kaylynn go back inside and close the door behind her. Chris should have followed suit, but she just couldn't take her eyes away from where Brittany had disappeared behind a fence. She was probably on her cell phone calling or texting Drew to come pick her up. All the girls would know soon and Chris would be ostracized. It didn't matter that they didn't have proof. She was older; she was graduated; she had only been a part of them because Brittany had made her so. And she was a known bisexual.

Another door opened, and stones crunched as feet made their way across the playground.

“Hey.”

Chris didn't look at him.

“Do you want to be alone?”

She took in a shuddering breath and let it out slowly. “Being alone is probably a bad idea. So I take it you heard that?”

Edmond smiled sheepishly. “It was kind of hard to miss. I thought I'd come see if you were all right.”

“All right might be stretching it.” She gave him a weak smile. “But I'll get over it. And so will she.”

“You know what Emerson said about disgust?” She shook her head, and he continued, quoting: “'Evermore in the world is this marvelous balance of beauty and disgust, magnificence and rats.'”

Chris almost smiled.

“You're not wearing your ring,” he observed.

“Nope.”

After a moment, Edmond cleared his throat. “I'm not the kind of man to take advantage of a woman on the rebound, however...” He waited until Chris met his eyes, and he smiled. “I am not above asking her out to dinner.”

“I thought we were eating at your place. Brighid tells me you're a fantastic cook.”

He gave a half shrug. “It's true, I am. But I think a night out might do us all good. My treat?”

Chris lost the battle against the smile on her face. “Sure, why not?”

“Great!” He grinned. “Let me go get Brigh. Grab your stuff and I'll meet you back here in two minutes.”

Chris admired his lean form as he jogged away and disappeared into his apartment, calling for Brighid. It didn't matter if she were misreading his signals. He was a good man, and his daughter really was too adorable. Chris smiled that soft smile people only smile to themselves. To hell with what people would think. She didn't have to answer to anyone but herself and maybe one day God. And right now, she was feeling at peace.