Meet Gina

I cannot fathom why she keeps calling out to the world.

Within my bruised heart, her seemingly immortal cage,

she continues to grip the iron bars,

and watch threw the windows of my eyes.

 

Although I gingerly admit it,

she is another part of me.

She is Gina.

Gina, meet the world, the world in which I’ve been hiding you from.

 

Parents, friends, and foes alike are completely unaware of Gina’s existence

She is everything and nothing I wish to be like.

Gina is beautiful, Gina is ugly, Gina is delightful, Gina is destructive.

She protects my soul, and without her, I cannot function.

 

But lately, Gina keeps reaching out to the world,

As if she wishes to be set free.

I keep persuading her to stay,

For I am weary of what I will become without her.

 

You may think I am crazy for holding her captive,

Call me a sad, pathetic, being.

But, I truly cannot let go of her just yet,

I need to find myself first.

 

Gina formed when I found myself hiding from endless screams,

Hiding from glass breaking, doors slamming, and objects being thrown.

She is my knight and shining armor when I am too weak to stand,

And when breathing and living become unbearable.

 

Gina keeps me going.

She creates a barrier between me and perpetrators,

And she convinces me that a smile in pain,

is better than no smile at all.

 

So I ask you, Gina, who is a separate but essential part of my self,

Please stay a little longer.

I wish to feel the comforting warmth of your protection,

and promise to free you once I am able to.

 

And now to you, the one who is reading this,

Should I set Gina free? Shall I force myself to stand on my own two feet,

Without the crutch of knowing Gina will protect me against all harm?

Or should I continue to accept the twisted fate of my two personalities?