Demor

And out of the corner of her eye, she saw it.

 The big black shape of the creature which everyone feared but few understood. 

It saw her and started gliding slowly towards her.

 Jay backed of slowly so not to frighten the creature. 

Hoping it was looking for someone else and not her.

 She looked round and saw no one else and realised that it was after her. 

As it got closer she saw it’s long thin body which was draped with its big black cloak.

 It lifted up it’s arm to grab her and she started running.

   Faster and faster she ran, but she was no match for it, it can up behind her and grabbed her.

 She screamed a piercing scream but it was to late it had her.

  In a harsh deep voice it whispered, “now your mine” and then she knew she was doomed. that it would take over her heart and her soul.

 It will make her think dark thoughts, be full of hatred, in the end she won’t recognise herself and by then she wont of realised it has controlled her.

Reviews

[Sasha]

This is interesting. I did notice a few spelling / grammatical errors that could easily be fixed by giving the poem a careful revision. Beyond that, it does have a degree of intrigue that I enjoyed. I just wish that it would've gone on a bit more so we could have more insight as to who/what the frightening being is. I like the pic you used. It works well with the poem.