Silent Battle

Hopelessness, fear, numbness, terror,

The crippling loneliness but never actually being alone,

but it is wanting you to be alone, 

you see it is easier for the darkness to attack that way.

The confusion mixed with the realisation,

it clicks ..... it is back.

The tears pour, they burn like never before when the demons begin.

It offers the comfort and security of numbness ,

but declines to tell you ... when it starts it is impossible to shake it off. that all your emotions will just cease to exist.

They shock the cogs turning by whispering ideas into the cracks,

"you are worthless"

"you deserve it"

"they will all leave"

"they are better off without you"

The light screams NO and shouts loud and proud

IT IS ALL LIES!!

But the itch of the ideas never go away 

The light and the dark, they fight you see

it varies who wins but regardless you cannot hide.

Then it hits ....

THE DEMONS, THE DARKNESS IS BACK

"OY" screams the monster .... this is my mind, my brain 

The fight between light and darkness sparks again.

However it is a different ball game when that one joins in.

Polar opposites but yet at times they combine.

The fear of the unknown and the irrational fear of the known.

Fight or flight? the monster screams 

HA darkness "fixes" that with paralysing horror of no desire, drive or motivation.

Which always stops you dead in your tracks .

"Whats wrong?" 

If only you knew, if only you could see,

the war raging in my head,

to the innocent its silent, it dosen't even exist 

it cannot be seen to the naked eye

the battle is raging but the killer? 

That the war is all inside your head

Not able to handle the twist of the knife 

the throw away comment like 

"just cheer up" , "your life is fine why are you sad?"

you plaster on a smile as fake as the words you are about to mutter

" nothing i'm fine"

But you stop, you sense who it is 

the smell, the touch ,the presence, the warmth

You look up and fall into his arms.

"it is back, it is back again"

"i don't know what is wrong but i know the voices are wrong"

He holds and kisses your head,

He knows, he knows only to well.

For you both have the darkness, the monster , the fear inside.

He has his days i have mine.

The soothe each others darkness and tells it that is lies and all wrong. 

They show each other the light.

It is scary, it is new , neither really now what to do.

Regardless they are each others anchor,

hand in hand,

hearts entwined.

Fighting the demons inside until the end of time.