Breaking Glass

I would love to drink grape juice in a wine glass but then i would just break it ;D

               The glass shattered and I awoke from a daydream. It must have been the wind. I looked. The window was open and the cold wind rushed to greet me. I breathed. Everything was so silent. So peacefull. I didnt like silence. It scared me. I hurried to the radio to on the CD player. The music flowed freely again and I began to calm myself.

                I was alone in the apartment. But it had always been this way. Then why was it so different today. Everything was normal. I was done with the homework that the college proffesors loaded onto us without a second glance. The house was clean and I...I was alone. All alone.

                My sisters were away and I wanted to call them, but decided against it. I woudnt call them. They would be to busy with their marriage and work to worry about me. Mom and Dad were at home. But by now they would be sleeping.

                I wanted friends over. They were like me. In college and working full time. The economy was hard and everyone needed the extra cash. The silence was taken care of and all i needed was a good book. I opened a book titled "Fairly Wand". Hmmmm. I couldnt read. To much was on my mind.

                 I remembered the old days where me and my sisters would sit around watching a movie or gossiping over our cousins. I missed those days. I missed everything. Here I was 26 and still going to college. Books had been published and I was an official author with a part time job as a residential interior designer. Yet it wasnt enough. 

                 The shattered glass that had fallen moments before was now everywhere, in a hundred different places because the wind had ran its course. I got a dust pan and looked for pieces of glass to pickup. I wanted a roomate. Someone who would live in this apartment with me. Someone who I could talk to. I had lived in a dorm my fair share of college life but i wanted to be independent for a change. And I was. Too bad I had to be alone in the process.

                Moving into an apartment had done nothing. If anything, it had made life independant. I was independant. Yet i was lonley. Too lonley. Nights were the hardest to live by. I hated it. I thought of the days spent in my sisters room where I would sleep everynight because i would be to scared to sleep alone.

                 I smiled. Nothing had changed. I slept with all the lights on and my door closed tight. The music would be on 24/7. I couldnt stand the silence. My electricity bill was rocket high but I couldnt deal with sleeping alone with only one light on. I had a flashlight by my bed and a hundred extra light bulbs.

                 My apartment was bright, with Pink, Blue, and Green as majority of the colors. There were some purples and some reds but no black was allowed. I had candles everywhere but i was scared to light them because it would only make the place feel eerie.

                 I was a coward. But the experiences I had delt with were the ones to be blamed for. Not me. I didnt want horrible things yet I had gotten them. Probably handed down from generation to generation. I wanted a life filled with courage on my part. And I had that but not when it came to darkness. I was getting old. Not to old. Just old. Atleast I wasnt getting any younger.

                 I loved my life and lived as much of it as I could. I stayed out of the house alot. I visited my friends, family, and any place that would want me. No one could blame me for not meeting them enough. If anything they were to be blamed for me comming to their house. I decided that tommorow I would look for a room mate. Someone who would make this apartment not-so-lonley.

 

I was much like the broken glass scattered everywhere...