February 11, 2009

i found my cut up jerseys the other night from this accident in indoor soccer last year... i still have no idea what happened that night...

Searching...
Searching for the memory of that night; the night i lost my memory.
Sure, i know what "happened" through the words of others.
But not any of the words register in within my mind.
In result; i sit and stare hoping. praying that it'll come back to me.

Darkness...
In darkness there is nothing, nothing of which i cant remember.
Remember what happened to me on that mysterious night of February 11, 2009.

Standing...
I'm standing here in this darkness, like the darkness of my mind.
No walls, No ground, No ceiling. Nothing.
Standing in nothing.
I begin looking around for something familiar.
Nothing...Nothing...NOTHING!
Oh no... my mind is going frantic!
I try to tell myself its okay! but its too late!
I try to run but i cant!
Im loosing it!
no No NO!
I'm spinning! SPINNING SPINNING SPINNING! I must regain composure!
CHAOS!

I'm still spinning! I reach out for something but there's nothing there! Nothing.

Why cant i remember?!
im so desperate to know for myself what happened on that peculiar night. How can something traumatize me but yet i havent the slightest clue as to what and how it happened?

Why couldn't i move?
How did i forget who i was in all aspects?
...
What happened on that mysterious night on the Eleventh of February 2009?