resilience heals pain

it is something that I wrote a while ago. It is something about my personal life, but it is also something about how to get through with it!

Resilience heals pain

What have you experienced in life that has made you who you are today? Good things? Bad things? Or most likely both? Well, no matter what you’ve been through, you have a story to tell. No matter who you see, everyone around you is important, because everyone has had emotional pain sometime in their life. As for me, Good and bad, I’ve experienced things that some people my age wouldn’t have. Like for instance, traveling to Germany twice and having the artistic ability to draw. But some of the bad ones are my mom passing away from cancer, and a brother who use to be a drug addict. If you thought that it was the good experiences that made me who I am today, you’re wrong, it’s the bad ones. Why? Because whenever life throws something at me, I don’t run away from it any more; I fight it with all the strength I have!

As for my mom, she was the only person who supported me maybe a bit too much. I was too blind to see what kind of things she was doing for me. And when she passed on, it was really tragic. The support that I once got suddenly vanished, and I was depressed and lonely inside. Living without a mother who cared for me, changed my entire world.

I wanted people to know my story, but I was too afraid of telling them. Not because others were silencing me, but because I thought people would make fun of me for telling them that I was struggling with life. I was playing with my own emotions. I was not myself, and I wasn’t being honest with others around me.

As for my brother, he quit doing drugs. But back then, it was like a living nightmare for me. Whenever he left the house, questions often ran in my head. Questions like, “Was I gonna be the first one he yelled at for not waking up at four o'clock in the morning to unlock the door when he called?” Or “Was I gonna be the one to put my hand on his coffin like I did with my mom?”. Luckily it was never the second question. The day he overdosed and passed out, was the day I realized that drugs are true life suckers, and it changed my world even more.

Today; I may look at things differently from others, but I’m still human! I spoke my story for people who were too afraid to tell theirs! One day, I finally talked to some people, and I realized that they were there to help me! Taking off the mask I once owned; screaming to the world ‘I need help’ took a tremendous amount of courage and bravery that was far past my comfort zone. Slowly, I started to heal. If there was one word that described me, it would be that I’m resilient. I wasn’t being a coward for what I did. I was just telling people I was fighting a war that I could not battle on my own. People may look at me differently and say things about me, but now, I fight back that kind of negativity!

For everyone out there, what I want you to get out of this is that it is normal to be different! There’s no such thing as being normal when everyone around you has a different face, clothing style, and likings. Be nice to everyone, because you never know what others are going through. The  boy that you made fun of for crying, his dad has cancer. The girl you tripped in the hallway, is being abused back at home. See? You just don’t know. For everyone out there who’s struggling, engrave this in your head. When life throws something at you, think positively, you are not the only one. Stand up and fight back, even if you can barely move your body. For every time you fight back, shows strength and resilience that makes you an even stronger person than you were before! By saying “I’m fine” when you are torn up inside is lying to the people around you. And just by saying that makes you feel even worse inside because you’re denying the fact that you’re in pain. Never bottle up your emotions! It is something that I once did, that I don’t want you doing as well. Stop isolating yourself and do the things that you love, because it will help you fight back! It’s scary, but the brave thing to do is to actually admit that you are in pain. You are not weak if you admit! You are strong, and have the power to fight back! Keep walking with your blade of resilience and your life will soon get better. For every dark moment there is in life, comes happiness in the end. Trust me. I admitted that I was in pain, because pain hurts, and I wanted it to stop. So why don’t you do the same thing to end yours. No matter your race, gender, or sexuality, someone is there to help you. Please, tell someone that you are in pain, before your pain becomes your death.