my mom

my mom, at the age of 46, she passed away from gastric cancer on August 5th 2011. Here's my story

I remember that day. The painful day that I never truly prepared myself for. I thought there was gonna be a happy ending to this horrifying life story, but there wasn’t. When I was a kid, I always believed there were happy endings to every bad story. But that’s not true. Not true at all

Exactly four years ago, my mom passed away from cancer. On the day she told me she had cancer, I didn’t accept the fact that she had it. Well… I did accept it, but in a way, I didn’t. She always wanted to show me how to cook and sew, but I always said ‘no’, because I thought that she was going to get better and teach me it later. She always wanted to do things with me, but I would always say “no mom, you’ll get better”. “You’ll get better”, “we can do that later”, “no”, that’s all I said to her when she was still around! Until the day I realized that she wasn’t getting better and I wanted to spend some time with her, but she was too sick to really do anything. Really, the only thing that I could do with her was to visit her at the hospital and hope for the best. There was nothing else I could do at the time.

Then… that day came. The day that I never thought would come. August 5th, 2011, I woke up, just to find out that my mom passed away in the middle of the night. I felt like I was drowning in my own tears after my dad said that to me.I will always remember that hellish day. The day I truly believed that not all bad beginnings had a happy ending.

Now it’s August 5th 2015, it has been four years. Four years since I’ve seen her, her smile, her voice, and her everything. Ever since that day, for four years, I’ve always had a high spirited smile with a trail of regret, pain, and darkness that dragged behind me as I went on. I was only eleven when I had to erase my moms name in my life story book, whose name I wrote in a thick black sharpie marker.

There is not one day where I don’t think about her. She’s always on my mind, no matter the place, no matter the situation. Everyday is a day full of a little pain and regret, but I overcome them with my strong power of resilience! I never let myself down because I know that my mom is watching over me saying ‘You can do it Madelyn!’ and I do!

Mom, I miss you so much, it unbearably hurts! These past four years without you, life has given me lots of its’ challenges for me to overcome. But thanks to you, you  taught me how to stand right up if I fall down, and to be positive in the negative situations! Now, everyone who knows me and my past life, will see the true spirit in me whenever I smile! Thank you for teaching me all you could at such a young age, and I’m sorry that you never got to teach me more because of me saying ‘no’ for an answer. Even though the trail of regret, pain, and darkness still drags behind me, I always try to stay positive so that people don’t have to see that horrifying trail. It’s true that the family chain is broken, but sooner or later, before we know it, it will be locked up again! I love you mom! A piece of your heart is still with mine!

love,

Madelyn.

“never forget, always remember 8-5-11”

Reviews

[Jessica Ryan]

Hi Madelyn, You are a strong girl with what you went through, sometimes in life, we don't understand quite why we go through things.. or why that happened to us. It seems unfair. Keep your head up and keep writing.

[bethanyy123]

Madelyn, you are so brave! Thank you for sharing your story it is truly inspiring! You are an amazing writer! Keep up the amazing work!