Open Letter

live to feel it all.

To be human is to suffer. It is to be hurt, confused, upset. It is to be heartbroken, shattered, lost, meandering. It is to learn with every step you take. It is to be in such misery that you cannot bear to take it anymore, and then you do anyways because that’s what living is all about. It is about finding a rainbow in the cloudy, hazed over skies that fog your brain. It is not being treated fairly, it is not to be taken seriously with every request, and it is not to be happy in every venture that you take. It is failed attempts, it is lost love, and it is broken promises. That’s life. It  is not meant to be enjoyable. It’s meant to be felt. Felt in all parts of your body.

 You feel it in your chest as the anxiety grabs both of your lungs and squeezes tightly to suffocate your confidence, you feel it in your chest as your heart rips itself in half and puts itself back together. You feel your chest as the love expands you so widely that you feel as though you’re going to burst at the seams. You feel your chest as the weight of a broken promise punches your core deep enough to wound not only your body but your soul.

You feel it in your bones as they ache with sadness, as they attempt to extract themselves from a body that has no potential for structure as you fall apart. You feel it in your bones as they grind together after spending a long day at work doing what you love. You feel it in your bones as a warning sign that things are changing.

You feel it in your eyes as you can see through those around you and stare straight into their true identities. You feel it in your eyes as you identify with your soulmate in their eyes and see a world with them that you never knew would be so beautiful. You feel it in your eyes as tears fall from them, a constant burn, a streaming fire that makes you want to keep them closed forever. You feel it in your eyes as you go on your 20^th hour without sleep and consider trying to lie down, but you decide against it because you’re just having too much fun.

You feel it down your spine. You feel it in your back as you stretch for what feels like the hundredth time today. You feel it in your back as you’re curled in on yourself and it burns, but you can’t bring yourself to move. You feel the chill down your spine as you experience a thrill, a touch, a kiss that your body ached for. You feel the chill down your spine as you fear for your life.

You feel it in your muscles. You feel the strain as you try to uphold the weight of the world upon your back. You feel the strain as you work a long shift at work to make a bit of extra money to pay the rent. You feel the strain in your muscles after you wake up in a funny position next to a person you don’t know the name of in a bed you don’t recognize. You feel the pulls and taught ringing in them as you draw a bath to soothe them and try to get some sleep. You feel your muscles strain as you finish an adventure that you didn’t believe you could finish.

You feel it in your head. You feel the pounding as you are forced to understand something nobody should have to face. You feel the pushing at the walls of your head as your mind tries to obtain the training you’re doing for your new job. You feel the throbbing as you have to come up with number and money in your mind to pay for your rent because you got a little to free with your drinks the night before. You feel the confusion that whirls in your mind as you try to understand where you are, who you are, and how to fix the imperfections. You feel the pulsating as you stand up too fast and proceed to call yourself an idiot, to yourself of course, and you feel the pulsating as you try to understand how the world could give you the pleasure of meeting the people that you have. You feel the lightheadedness as you find yourself so utterly happy and carefree that you couldn’t find a single thing to complain about.

You feel life in every part of your body, and if you haven’t felt it yet, you have to wait and see what it feels like. Each feeling, in each part of you, is unlike any other. It’s what separates us from everything else " our ability to feel. Feel it. Feel it all shamelessly; embrace your sadness, savor your happiness. Feel it all. There’s no such thing as too much.